The Student Room Group

My girlfriend never gets jealous?

Me and my girlfriend have been together for over a year now. In the past I've dated girls that were usually jealous and for me it's weird now because mine isn't jealous at all and I'm starting to think it's because she doesn't care. I feel like to some extent, being jealous shows that you care about the other person. I'm not talking about being overly jealous because that's obviously annoying and shows you're insecure but I feel like some is normal and healthy in a relationship.

I'm a good looking guy and pretty successful so other girls try to hit on me all the time but it doesn't bother my girlfriend. I have a female friend that I've known since we were kids who is very attractive and is a model, and all my previous girlfriends didn't want me hanging out with her. When my girlfriend met her she didn't say anything negative and they actually got along.. sometimes I tell my girlfriend that I'm going to her house and it's just going to be us alone and she gives no emotional reaction and doesn't text me at all while I'm there. The other day my ex-girlfriend who is also attractive messages me trying to hook up and I showed my girlfriend and she was just indifferent to it. I expected her to offer to fight the girl or call her or something like that but she didn't even care.

The other day we were at a bar and the waitress kept flirting with me and she didn't even care, she was too busy talking to my other friends and she didn't even do anything to stop it. We had a big argument because I accused her of not caring enough and for not showing a little bit of jealousy. She got upset at me and said she trusts me and knows her worth so she doesn't care about that stuff. I thought this was a red flag because she's basically saying she would be fine regardless if I'm with her or not. She is attractive herself and is education and makes her own money.. so now I'm scared that she doesn't need me and that means she won't work as hard to keep me.

My friends tell me that I'm lucky and that it's stupid for me to be worried about this. I understand because I also wouldn't want my girlfriend to be overly jealous, but I feel like being jealous at times shows me that she cares and doesn't want to lose me.

Thoughts ?
Original post by Anonymous
Me and my girlfriend have been together for over a year now. In the past I've dated girls that were usually jealous and for me it's weird now because mine isn't jealous at all and I'm starting to think it's because she doesn't care. I feel like to some extent, being jealous shows that you care about the other person. I'm not talking about being overly jealous because that's obviously annoying and shows you're insecure but I feel like some is normal and healthy in a relationship.

I'm a good looking guy and pretty successful so other girls try to hit on me all the time but it doesn't bother my girlfriend. I have a female friend that I've known since we were kids who is very attractive and is a model, and all my previous girlfriends didn't want me hanging out with her. When my girlfriend met her she didn't say anything negative and they actually got along.. sometimes I tell my girlfriend that I'm going to her house and it's just going to be us alone and she gives no emotional reaction and doesn't text me at all while I'm there. The other day my ex-girlfriend who is also attractive messages me trying to hook up and I showed my girlfriend and she was just indifferent to it. I expected her to offer to fight the girl or call her or something like that but she didn't even care.

The other day we were at a bar and the waitress kept flirting with me and she didn't even care, she was too busy talking to my other friends and she didn't even do anything to stop it. We had a big argument because I accused her of not caring enough and for not showing a little bit of jealousy. She got upset at me and said she trusts me and knows her worth so she doesn't care about that stuff. I thought this was a red flag because she's basically saying she would be fine regardless if I'm with her or not. She is attractive herself and is education and makes her own money.. so now I'm scared that she doesn't need me and that means she won't work as hard to keep me.

My friends tell me that I'm lucky and that it's stupid for me to be worried about this. I understand because I also wouldn't want my girlfriend to be overly jealous, but I feel like being jealous at times shows me that she cares and doesn't want to lose me.

Thoughts ?


Why would you make her jealous though…?
Reply 2
She knows you aren't silly enough to ruin things with her because she's God's gift.
Original post by Anonymous
Me and my girlfriend have been together for over a year now. In the past I've dated girls that were usually jealous and for me it's weird now because mine isn't jealous at all and I'm starting to think it's because she doesn't care. I feel like to some extent, being jealous shows that you care about the other person. I'm not talking about being overly jealous because that's obviously annoying and shows you're insecure but I feel like some is normal and healthy in a relationship.

I'm a good looking guy and pretty successful so other girls try to hit on me all the time but it doesn't bother my girlfriend. I have a female friend that I've known since we were kids who is very attractive and is a model, and all my previous girlfriends didn't want me hanging out with her. When my girlfriend met her she didn't say anything negative and they actually got along.. sometimes I tell my girlfriend that I'm going to her house and it's just going to be us alone and she gives no emotional reaction and doesn't text me at all while I'm there. The other day my ex-girlfriend who is also attractive messages me trying to hook up and I showed my girlfriend and she was just indifferent to it. I expected her to offer to fight the girl or call her or something like that but she didn't even care.

The other day we were at a bar and the waitress kept flirting with me and she didn't even care, she was too busy talking to my other friends and she didn't even do anything to stop it. We had a big argument because I accused her of not caring enough and for not showing a little bit of jealousy. She got upset at me and said she trusts me and knows her worth so she doesn't care about that stuff. I thought this was a red flag because she's basically saying she would be fine regardless if I'm with her or not. She is attractive herself and is education and makes her own money.. so now I'm scared that she doesn't need me and that means she won't work as hard to keep me.

My friends tell me that I'm lucky and that it's stupid for me to be worried about this. I understand because I also wouldn't want my girlfriend to be overly jealous, but I feel like being jealous at times shows me that she cares and doesn't want to lose me.

Thoughts ?

So, what I'm reading is you don't want your girlfriend to have complete trust and faith that you won't do anything to disrespect her as her partner?

If you don't want trust, what do you want?
Reply 4
You had a row with you girlfriend because she's secure in the relationship and trusts you? You want her to get into fights?

Why do you think she would be jealous? Surely it's the other way round and the people flirtng with you are the ones with issues because she has you. Well, for now. Carry on as you are and you'll be jealous of whoever she has as her next boyfriend when you've ruined the relationship being stupid and immature.
Reply 5
It sounds like you want that power over her to give you an emotional reaction because it makes you feel better about yourself. Honestly, would you rather have a codependent mess who is stalking you/fighting you every two seconds out of jealousy? Consider yourself lucky, I think most guys would kill to have a girl like that. Also, you shouldn't have to "need" someone in a relationship. Codependency is a very unhealthy thing and it isn't fair that you want her world to crumble if she wasn't with you. I suggest working on your own insecurities instead of seeking validation from other people through their jealousy.
Congrats, you found someone completely comfortable in a relationship who would dump you like a hot potato if you played away.

Your previous relationships were immature outliers, welcome to an adult one.
Reply 7
I dont see the issue with your girlfriend but you will ruin things if you're trying to make her jealous or want her to be jealous.
Realistically for a healthy relationship to work both partners should care about their education, work / have their own money and priorities and support each other not be dependent or want their partner to be dependent on them. Being with someone who is independent is amazing plus being with someone who is secure is a blessing especially in today's society where cheating is so easy.

From a girls point of view, your girlfriend not getting jealous isn't a bad sign or a sign of not caring its a sign of she trusts you plus there's no point in getting jealous cos if you're gonna be unfaith then you will yhats your decision nothing she can do to change it at that point the relationship might aswell be over and alot of girls will just leave if you're just tryna make them jealous as it gives off the vibe that you don't care enough to show respect and it could indicate that you're not completely faithful or ready for a real relationship.
Most girls don't want a guy who's going to argue over silly things that not being jealous and most don't want a guy who wants them to need them or be dependent on them as there's almost nothing worse than being dependent on someone who may not even want them 6 months down the line.
Reply 8
Maybe in your other relationships the girls have been jealous or dependent on you but obviously they didn't work out so why would you want a repeat of that ?
Reply 9
Why isn't your ex blocked..... just sounds like you want drama
Why did you try to sabotage something that is working? You don't want a girl to be jealous. Jealous girlfriends are a nightmare.

She's secure in your relationship and trusts that you won't cheat on her even if another girl throws herself at you. That's a good thing mate.
(edited 11 months ago)
Bloody hell mate, what you're saying is really messed up and toxic. There's a difference between not caring and being completely comfortable and secure in the relationship and the trust you have for your partner. It sounds like your girlfriend is of the latter persuasion and it comes across like you want to goad her into reacting, maybe to inflate your own ego? Why are you still allowing your ex to message you? You should have blocked her and if women are flirting with you then you should shut it down, especially when your girlfriend's there. You shouldn't just let it continue hoping she'll go mental over it.
TSR rules do not permit me to outright call other users stupid.
Reply 13
It is a very healthy attitude, she’ll go places
i assume with your gf, you had to ask her out, hit on her
Reply 15
Original post by Anonymous #1
Me and my girlfriend have been together for over a year now. In the past I've dated girls that were usually jealous and for me it's weird now because mine isn't jealous at all and I'm starting to think it's because she doesn't care. I feel like to some extent, being jealous shows that you care about the other person. I'm not talking about being overly jealous because that's obviously annoying and shows you're insecure but I feel like some is normal and healthy in a relationship.
I'm a good looking guy and pretty successful so other girls try to hit on me all the time but it doesn't bother my girlfriend. I have a female friend that I've known since we were kids who is very attractive and is a model, and all my previous girlfriends didn't want me hanging out with her. When my girlfriend met her she didn't say anything negative and they actually got along.. sometimes I tell my girlfriend that I'm going to her house and it's just going to be us alone and she gives no emotional reaction and doesn't text me at all while I'm there. The other day my ex-girlfriend who is also attractive messages me trying to hook up and I showed my girlfriend and she was just indifferent to it. I expected her to offer to fight the girl or call her or something like that but she didn't even care.
The other day we were at a bar and the waitress kept flirting with me and she didn't even care, she was too busy talking to my other friends and she didn't even do anything to stop it. We had a big argument because I accused her of not caring enough and for not showing a little bit of jealousy. She got upset at me and said she trusts me and knows her worth so she doesn't care about that stuff. I thought this was a red flag because she's basically saying she would be fine regardless if I'm with her or not. She is attractive herself and is education and makes her own money.. so now I'm scared that she doesn't need me and that means she won't work as hard to keep me.
My friends tell me that I'm lucky and that it's stupid for me to be worried about this. I understand because I also wouldn't want my girlfriend to be overly jealous, but I feel like being jealous at times shows me that she cares and doesn't want to lose me.
Thoughts ?
It all sounds a bit narcissistic on your part to me..
Your question aside, it’s noticeable how you say some things with the intent of making her jealous. She doesn’t react, so you keep on telling her additional info, to find a trace of jealousy
Nevermind this mind game being a mind game, and it being immature as hell- it’s also bad partner behaviour from you
If she gets resentment from the build up of these antics, you might lose her to someone more mature, and she’ll scoff about the senselessness of the fights you caused
Just noting that the thread is 8 months old and the OP never replied once.
Original post by Anonymous #1
Me and my girlfriend have been together for over a year now. In the past I've dated girls that were usually jealous and for me it's weird now because mine isn't jealous at all and I'm starting to think it's because she doesn't care. I feel like to some extent, being jealous shows that you care about the other person. I'm not talking about being overly jealous because that's obviously annoying and shows you're insecure but I feel like some is normal and healthy in a relationship.
I'm a good looking guy and pretty successful so other girls try to hit on me all the time but it doesn't bother my girlfriend. I have a female friend that I've known since we were kids who is very attractive and is a model, and all my previous girlfriends didn't want me hanging out with her. When my girlfriend met her she didn't say anything negative and they actually got along.. sometimes I tell my girlfriend that I'm going to her house and it's just going to be us alone and she gives no emotional reaction and doesn't text me at all while I'm there. The other day my ex-girlfriend who is also attractive messages me trying to hook up and I showed my girlfriend and she was just indifferent to it. I expected her to offer to fight the girl or call her or something like that but she didn't even care.
The other day we were at a bar and the waitress kept flirting with me and she didn't even care, she was too busy talking to my other friends and she didn't even do anything to stop it. We had a big argument because I accused her of not caring enough and for not showing a little bit of jealousy. She got upset at me and said she trusts me and knows her worth so she doesn't care about that stuff. I thought this was a red flag because she's basically saying she would be fine regardless if I'm with her or not. She is attractive herself and is education and makes her own money.. so now I'm scared that she doesn't need me and that means she won't work as hard to keep me.
My friends tell me that I'm lucky and that it's stupid for me to be worried about this. I understand because I also wouldn't want my girlfriend to be overly jealous, but I feel like being jealous at times shows me that she cares and doesn't want to lose me.
Thoughts ?

You’re so in the wrong for this. Trust is a big thing and she has that in you, not being jealous shows the amount she trusts you and she doesn’t feel she needs to be jealous. You’re provoking problems for no reason just because you want her to be jealous which is so wrong. Why would you argue over a waitress flirting that’s your problem not hers. To be honest, most mentally mature girls would not offer to call or fight anyone either, I never have because i’ve trusts parents i’ve been with and believe they can sort it out on their own, and if they reciprocate that’s a reason for me to leave as it shows THEY don’t care.
Original post by Sorcerer's Storm
Bloody hell mate, what you're saying is really messed up and toxic. There's a difference between not caring and being completely comfortable and secure in the relationship and the trust you have for your partner. It sounds like your girlfriend is of the latter persuasion and it comes across like you want to goad her into reacting, maybe to inflate your own ego? Why are you still allowing your ex to message you? You should have blocked her and if women are flirting with you then you should shut it down, especially when your girlfriend's there. You shouldn't just let it continue hoping she'll go mental over it.


Agree he should shut down the flirting not the girlfriend reacting

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