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    I am no longer in contact with my father because he was controlling, and I have never had a boyfriend despite being in my early 20s. However, I get on fine with guys, and I am not sure if not having a boyfriend is to do with my father or not as I am focusing on my studies and working long hours now too so it might be impractical. I do get asked out.

    However, one of my friends (who gets a lot more attention than me because she is more focused on social media/more of a party girl and "out there" etc.) still sees her father but her parents got divorced when she was a child. It was so bad that her mother went back to Ireland (where she is from) and my friend has to spend hundreds of pounds when she flies over to see her. Unlike me she does date but doesn't seem to be able to "keep" a guy and hasn't had a boyfriend past a few months.

    For some reason my friend is labelled "daddy issues" by all our other friends and I am not, despite them knowing that both of us have bad relationships with our fathers and don't have boyfriends. My relationship with my father was much worse and they know that, at least my friend still speaks to her dad. She has dated the odd guy who is much older though, like in his 30s or 40s, and at one point was working a temp job and also involved with the guy who ran the agency I believe. Still that doesn't equal issues.

    Why are people so mean as to label people "daddy issues" because they aren't the stereotypical "good girl?" (FYI I am the stereotypical "good girl" I've been told but I don't think it is fair for people to concern troll my friend or label her as having issues just because her parents are divorced).
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    Basically people with daddy issues are claimed to often sleep around or to act/dress slutty, or date older men etc. Essentially tries to attract men to make up for her father's absence. Not that I'm saying it's an okay stereotype to perpetuate, but that's what the stereotype is
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    Basically people with daddy issues are claimed to often sleep around or to act/dress slutty, or date older men etc. Essentially tries to attract men to make up for her father's absence. Not that I'm saying it's an okay stereotype to perpetuate, but that's what the stereotype is
    I thought it was just a term used to describe any girl who had a bad relationship with their father (like me?)

    She is a bit "sexy" in posting revealing selfies on Instagram etc. But I know loads of girls who do that and are bffs with their dads :lol:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I thought it was just a term used to describe any girl who had a bad relationship with their father (like me?)

    She is a bit "sexy" in posting revealing selfies on Instagram etc. But I know loads of girls who do that and are bffs with their dads :lol:
    Yeah, loads of girls who are close with their fathers do it, that's why it's a stupid stereotype. But I've never heard it to be used solely to mean a bad relationship with one's father, I've always heard it be used in conjunction with attempting to attract male attention
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    Yeah, loads of girls who are close with their fathers do it, that's why it's a stupid stereotype. But I've never heard it to be used solely to mean a bad relationship with one's father, I've always heard it be used in conjunction with attempting to attract male attention
    Thanks. It's kind of a silly stereotype isn't it though? I mean my friend actually gets on with her dad (though obviously her mum doesnt...) even though her parents are divorced.

    So she's being labelled it and I'm not because she does stuff like post on social media more and date older guys? (I am not adding to the gossiping btw)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks. It's kind of a silly stereotype isn't it though? I mean my friend actually gets on with her dad (though obviously her mum doesnt...) even though her parents are divorced.

    So she's being labelled it and I'm not because she does stuff like post on social media more and date older guys? (I am not adding to the gossiping btw)
    Essentially yes, it's stupid but people are stupid
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks. It's kind of a silly stereotype isn't it though? I mean my friend actually gets on with her dad (though obviously her mum doesnt...) even though her parents are divorced.

    So she's being labelled it and I'm not because she does stuff like post on social media more and date older guys? (I am not adding to the gossiping btw)
    Do you want to be labelled "daddy issues" ? What is it you are actually arguing about?

    I don't think it's a bad stereotype, what's bad is how we treat people with such a label if the treatment is to the point of bullying it's wrong. I don't think people usually say straight out to anyone's face that they think they have daddy issues, this is something usually shared between friends. Women with daddy issues would most likely bring more drama to a relationship, it's a warning to any potential partner who would not want to be with such a person to stay clear.
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    (Original post by Mancini)
    Do you want to be labelled "daddy issues" ? What is it you are actually arguing about?

    I don't think it's a bad stereotype, what's bad is how we treat people with such a label if the treatment is to the point of bullying it's wrong. I don't think people usually say straight out to anyone's face that they think they have daddy issues, this is something usually shared between friends. Women with daddy issues would most likely bring more drama to a relationship, it's a warning to any potential partner who would not want to be with such a person to stay clear.
    I don't see why people are saying behind her back that she has daddy issues just for dating a few older guys/posting sexy selfies on social media etc. (stuff mentioned in OP). I pointed out to them I don't have a great relationship with my dad either and they said "You're different".

    Basically we are close so I want to figure out how to stop the gossip and am also wondering why some people get labelled this but not others
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't see why people are saying behind her back that she has daddy issues just for dating a few older guys/posting sexy selfies on social media etc. (stuff mentioned in OP). I pointed out to them I don't have a great relationship with my dad either and they said "You're different".

    Basically we are close so I want to figure out how to stop the gossip and am also wondering why some people get labelled this but not others
    You have basically answered your own question, also two people both may have similar experience but clearly will handle it differently.

    The answer to your question which you have already answered is clearly that obviously your daddy issues friend displays behaviours whether on social media or when out with friends that are associated with such a label. Don't think you can stop the gossip when it's already started.

    That older guys thing for me it's clear evidence of daddy issues or gold digger both hardly attractive.
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    (Original post by Mancini)
    You have basically answered your own question, also two people both may have similar experience but clearly will handle it differently.

    The answer to your question which you have already answered is clearly that obviously your daddy issues friend displays behaviours whether on social media or when out with friends that are associated with such a label. Don't think you can stop the gossip when it's already started.

    That older guys thing for me it's clear evidence of daddy issues or gold digger both hardly attractive.
    I just wasn't clear about the term - definitions online vary. For all I know somebody could label me "daddy issues," you see?

    Sometimes you can stop gossip, I have before but they do actually seem a bit concerned so thought trying to understand that more would be best.

    Well, she has mostly dated guys around her age. She just never keeps them even though she is quite attractive (long blonde hair etc.)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I just wasn't clear about the term - definitions online vary. For all I know somebody could label me "daddy issues," you see?

    Sometimes you can stop gossip, I have before but they do actually seem a bit concerned so thought trying to understand that more would be best.

    Well, she has mostly dated guys around her age. She just never keeps them even though she is quite attractive (long blonde hair etc.)
    When you say older what do you mean exactly? Four yrs older I wouldn't care about , ten to fifteen years now that's something. Somebody may question if you have daddy issues because of your absent father doubt they would label you daddy issues straight away.
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    (Original post by Mancini)
    When you say older what do you mean exactly? Four yrs older I wouldn't care about , ten to fifteen years now that's something. Somebody may question if you have daddy issues because of your absent father doubt they would label you daddy issues straight away.
    Well, she's 22, and guys from 34 (the guy from work she dated) to 49.

    So the definition varies
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well, she's 22, and guys from 34 (the guy from work she dated) to 49.

    So the definition varies
    Yeah I think that's weird , I have a female friend who always dates older men I'm talking Jeff bridges old and she's in her 20s can't understand it. Also she has both parents so certainly not daddy issues although who knows perhaps her dad never showed her proper attention.
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    (Original post by Mancini)
    Yeah I think that's weird , I have a female friend who always dates older men I'm talking Jeff bridges old and she's in her 20s can't understand it. Also she has both parents so certainly not daddy issues although who knows perhaps her dad never showed her proper attention.
    Is she doing it for the money if you don't mind me asking? :eyebrow:

    Yeah, people can have bad parents who stick around. In fact without saying too much my parents are still "together" I just don't talk to my father any more, my mum gets on with him fine.

    Oh well if people are going to label me that too I can't change it lol :lol:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Is she doing it for the money if you don't mind me asking? :eyebrow:

    Yeah, people can have bad parents who stick around. In fact without saying too much my parents are still "together" I just don't talk to my father any more, my mum gets on with him fine.

    Oh well if people are going to label me that too I can't change it lol :lol:
    Well she's told me she just enjoys older men's company more and the way they treat her but in the back of my mind I think it's a money thing. For me I believe it's an attempt to put herself in a good position financially. You have said so far no one has labelled you daddy issues, so really it's just you worrying.
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    (Original post by Mancini)
    Well she's told me she just enjoys older men's company more and the way they treat her but in the back of my mind I think it's a money thing. For me I believe it's an attempt to put herself in a good position financially. You have said so far no one has labelled you daddy issues, so really it's just you worrying.
    Bit lazy. Thanks
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    Women with daddy issues have a pathological need to please men, insecurity can affect relationships.

    Divorce is not required to have daddy issues.
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    (Original post by Rakas21)
    Women with daddy issues have a pathological need to please men, insecurity can affect relationships.

    Divorce is not required to have daddy issues.
    Yes, I know some guys with "mummy issues" who are also quite codependent.

    So why is my friend getting labelled that but not me? Would you agree with the people above?
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    'Daddy issues' does not refer to problems with your father, that is why you are not labelled as having them. It refers to someone who, because of problems with their father, constantly seeks male attention to make up for their missing father figure. You, from the sounds of it, aren't doing that. Your friend is. It's that simple.
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    (Original post by sabot)
    'Daddy issues' does not refer to problems with your father, that is why you are not labelled as having them. It refers to someone who, because of problems with their father, constantly seeks male attention to make up for their missing father figure. You, from the sounds of it, aren't doing that. Your friend is. It's that simple.
    Thanks. Yeah some people seem to define it as just having a bad relationship with your dad thats why I was confused
 
 
 
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