I'm a 21 year old virgin

So I'm 21 years old virgin but what's even worse is that I never kissed, never held hands with a girl and above all I never had a girlfriend nearly everyone my age and young as 14 has did all those and I haven't. I really struggle to talk to girls due to having aspergers syndrome and I'm a shy person especially when it comes to starting and handling conversations when talking to girls. I suffer from really bad depression/anxiety and it got worst over the past year after I finished college and did nothing in my life. I tried talking to a girl once a few years ago but she told me to 'go away and leave me alone'. Back when I was I school I was bullied I've been called ugly and a lot of girls would avoid me which is why I lack self confidence but personally I'd say I'm just below average looking. I don't have acne anymore thank goodness but most people should realise people don't choice their physical appearance as I'm the sort of guy that suffers from dry skin, dry scalp, etc I know most girls in society are extremely shallow because if they don't find you attractive they wouldn't even want to talk to you. I'm not saying guys aren't shallow, they just aren't worse than girls. I hate girls play the victim and shove modern feminism down our throats when at least 95% of girls are shallow, arrogant, overly vain, having their own checklist on what guys should look/be like to meet their standards including superpowers. I used social network/dating sites to try to talk girls but I never had any luck since most of them would decline my friend request, but I did message girls to start conversations but I usually get ignored without answer but when I do receive a reply they are normally short/blunt replies like you're talking to a brick wall. I don't think I would be able to trust a girl ever again and I don't have the guts to go over and talk to one in fear I'd be told to "don't want you talking to me, go away" "I have a boyfriend, don't hit on me" etc. I would appreciate if I could get some advice or your opinion on this but be constructive not horrible. I know I shouldn't have a problem being a 21 year old virgin it's just society puts a lot of pressure in you to lose it young and if I told society that I'm a virgin and never did anything intimate still most people would make fun of me and judge me for it. I just want to be any other normal person to settle down with someone who likes me on the inside and outside also I always wanted to children of my own. I told some people about a lot of this never having a girlfriend but all I get is the "your time will come", "don't worry you'll find someone soon" because to me it's just a load of crap and the people who say that are the kind of people that don't really care about you.

Reply 1

maggie43

16

Original post by jamierobinson94

So I'm 21 years old virgin but what's even worse is that I never kissed, never held hands with a girl and above all I never had a girlfriend nearly everyone my age and young as 14 has did all those and I haven't. I really struggle to talk to girls due to having aspergers syndrome and I'm a shy person especially when it comes to starting and handling conversations when talking to girls. I suffer from really bad depression/anxiety and it got worst over the past year after I finished college and did nothing in my life. I tried talking to a girl once a few years ago but she told me to 'go away and leave me alone'. Back when I was I school I was bullied I've been called ugly and a lot of girls would avoid me which is why I lack self confidence but personally I'd say I'm just below average looking. I don't have acne anymore thank goodness but most people should realise people don't choice their physical appearance as I'm the sort of guy that suffers from dry skin, dry scalp, etc I know most girls in society are extremely shallow because if they don't find you attractive they wouldn't even want to talk to you. I'm not saying guys aren't shallow, they just aren't worse than girls. I hate girls play the victim and shove modern feminism down our throats when at least 95% of girls are shallow, arrogant, overly vain, having their own checklist on what guys should look/be like to meet their standards including superpowers. I used social network/dating sites to try to talk girls but I never had any luck since most of them would decline my friend request, but I did message girls to start conversations but I usually get ignored without answer but when I do receive a reply they are normally short/blunt replies like you're talking to a brick wall. I don't think I would be able to trust a girl ever again and I don't have the guts to go over and talk to one in fear I'd be told to "don't want you talking to me, go away" "I have a boyfriend, don't hit on me" etc. I would appreciate if I could get some advice or your opinion on this but be constructive not horrible. I know I shouldn't have a problem being a 21 year old virgin it's just society puts a lot of pressure in you to lose it young and if I told society that I'm a virgin and never did anything intimate still most people would make fun of me and judge me for it. I just want to be any other normal person to settle down with someone who likes me on the inside and outside also I always wanted to children of my own. I told some people about a lot of this never having a girlfriend but all I get is the "your time will come", "don't worry you'll find someone soon" because to me it's just a load of crap and the people who say that are the kind of people that don't really care about you.

It's not the end of the world mate. Everything has got it's perfect timing.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 2

username1623349

13

You seem to have quite a derogatory attitude towards women (saying that they are shallow and vain and you can never trust them) which doesn't help things. I don't think I know anyone who exclusively speaks to men they are attracted to. Your lack of self confidence is also incredibly apparent and it is something that women can sense from a mile away. I personally think you need to focus on yourself and living your life rather than attempting to find a partner, as desperation is, again, fairly obvious. Just do you and someone will come along eventually.

Reply 3

RealLifeJoker

OP

13

Original post by georgiaswift

You seem to have quite a derogatory attitude towards women (saying that they are shallow and vain and you can never trust them) which doesn't help things. I don't think I know anyone who exclusively speaks to men they are attracted to. Your lack of self confidence is also incredibly apparent and it is something that women can sense from a mile away. I personally think you need to focus on yourself and living your life rather than attempting to find a partner, as desperation is, again, fairly obvious. Just do you and someone will come along eventually.

So it's alright for women to be derogatory towards men as its acceptable to like that? I hear all this about guys being *******s, players, cheats etc. The reason I'm like this is based on my personal experiences and my threat if you read properly justifies it. I didn't say all women are shallow just high majority of them are. I get my friend request declined and messages ignored because of the way I look it's like they judged me before they got a chance to know and they wouldn't bother reading my profile come on you can't get any shallower than that. If any of other guy went theough what I went through they would think the same.

Reply 4

RealLifeJoker

OP

13

Original post by maggie43

It's not the end of the world mate. Everything has got it's perfect timing.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Perfect timing? Haha ok!

Reply 5

Retired_Messiah

21

You talk about being a virgin at that age as though it's seriously odd but I swear there's a thread with a similar main theme every week at least in this section.

Original post by jamierobinson94

I suffer from really bad depression/anxiety and it got worst over the past year after I finished college and did nothing in my life.

You'll want to take steps toward making this bit better really, it's not going to make things any easier.

Reply 6

Yael

11

Original post by jamierobinson94

So I'm 21 years old virgin but what's even worse is that I never kissed, never held hands with a girl and above all I never had a girlfriend nearly everyone my age and young as 14 has did all those and I haven't. I really struggle to talk to girls due to having aspergers syndrome and I'm a shy person especially when it comes to starting and handling conversations when talking to girls. I suffer from really bad depression/anxiety and it got worst over the past year after I finished college and did nothing in my life. I tried talking to a girl once a few years ago but she told me to 'go away and leave me alone'. Back when I was I school I was bullied I've been called ugly and a lot of girls would avoid me which is why I lack self confidence but personally I'd say I'm just below average looking. I don't have acne anymore thank goodness but most people should realise people don't choice their physical appearance as I'm the sort of guy that suffers from dry skin, dry scalp, etc I know most girls in society are extremely shallow because if they don't find you attractive they wouldn't even want to talk to you. I'm not saying guys aren't shallow, they just aren't worse than girls. I hate girls play the victim and shove modern feminism down our throats when at least 95% of girls are shallow, arrogant, overly vain, having their own checklist on what guys should look/be like to meet their standards including superpowers. I used social network/dating sites to try to talk girls but I never had any luck since most of them would decline my friend request, but I did message girls to start conversations but I usually get ignored without answer but when I do receive a reply they are normally short/blunt replies like you're talking to a brick wall. I don't think I would be able to trust a girl ever again and I don't have the guts to go over and talk to one in fear I'd be told to "don't want you talking to me, go away" "I have a boyfriend, don't hit on me" etc. I would appreciate if I could get some advice or your opinion on this but be constructive not horrible. I know I shouldn't have a problem being a 21 year old virgin it's just society puts a lot of pressure in you to lose it young and if I told society that I'm a virgin and never did anything intimate still most people would make fun of me and judge me for it. I just want to be any other normal person to settle down with someone who likes me on the inside and outside also I always wanted to children of my own. I told some people about a lot of this never having a girlfriend but all I get is the "your time will come", "don't worry you'll find someone soon" because to me it's just a load of crap and the people who say that are the kind of people that don't really care about you.

With regards to the first highlighted extract of your text, welcome to the real world Mr Rogers. You are still lucky to have realised this at the age of 21; some people are probably deluded until their late middle age. Of course women are more selective than men on many different levels: whether it comes to physical looks, socio-economic status, intelligence or social popularity. Do not think otherwise. This comes from the fact that women used to perform expressive roles as opposed to instrumental ones performed by males, and therefore a male needs to be selected as a gem amongst coal. We could debate to what extent this is conscious, sub-conscious or simply natural survival of the fittest selection. The point is, above all, that the purpose of all living organisms is to multiply.

Spoiler

With regards to the second highlighted extract of your text, you would seriously send random requests and messages random women? Not the best way to loose your virginity. Do you know how many friend requests/messages any good looking young woman gets?

Being very upfront and honest is one of my virtues. I am probably what you would consider 9 or 10 out of 10, very good looking. I am also reasonably intelligent, studying at one of the top universities. I know for a fact that my standards would be very high, but I come from a very orthodox, what you would call traditionalist / fundamentalist / conservative communities in London so I am getting married regardless when I graduate. If you analyse this problematique from this perspective it becomes apparent that religion in this sense is functional organisational community which seeks to supersede the superficial(s) you talked about in your post on the basis of mutual bond and spirituality. Then again, even here you can be quite selective.

Finally, it is true: your time will probably come. This is statistically proven. You are far more likely to have sex at some point in your life than to remain a virgin. If, however, you are desperate enough then the solution is as old as the world itself. Babylonian Talmud [Abodah Zarah 17a] tells a story relevant to yours situation about harlots.

I'm a 21 year old virgin

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