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Gf doesnt trust me with friend watch

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    So basically me and my gf have been together over 8 months now, we go out every now and then with a bunch of our friends. The problem is she seems to think I have feelings for a girl in our group and that she likes me too, I admit I talk to her more than some girls in the group but thats cos I know her more as the others aren't always about.

    This problem has been going on for months now and I dont know what to do, at first I thought it was just a jealousy thing and was natural but it just keeps getting worse, I've taken action to try fix it such as talking to the girl less but it doesn't change anything. We both love each other and I'd hate to see us end over this so I'm looking for advice
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    Has your girlfriend met this girl?
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    Is she right? As much as you like to be all high and noble and deny it, you might be giving off some very strong non-verbal signals that make her cautious. Why does she lock on to this person but no one else? Don't jealous people get paranoid of everyone?
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    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    Has your girlfriend met this girl?
    Yes we're all part of a group of friends
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    (Original post by whorace)
    Is she right? As much as you like to be all high and noble and deny it, you might be giving off some very strong non-verbal signals that make her cautious. Why does she lock on to this person but no one else? Don't jealous people get paranoid of everyone?
    She mainly targets her cos this girl is kind of a **** and has had slept with someone in a relationship in the past so I understand where shes coming from and she thinks this girl likes me cos she treats me differently to other guys apparently, I mean I don't accuse her of lying but I dont see it. But I do try keep my distance but I can't control how the other girl acts with me without telling her the problem
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    If she's worried about something going on, that's much more a problem with your relationship itself than you hanging out with anyone else. You and this girl know there's nothing going on between you, as long as you're not doing anything inappropriate, your gf has nothing to be worried and if she doesn't trust you, you need to speak to her about her lack of faith, that's not fair on you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She mainly targets her cos this girl is kind of a **** and has had slept with someone in a relationship in the past so I understand where shes coming from and she thinks this girl likes me cos she treats me differently to other guys apparently, I mean I don't accuse her of lying but I dont see it. But I do try keep my distance but I can't control how the other girl acts with me without telling her the problem
    If you're talking about your friend like that maybe you should keep your distance regardless
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    You need to talk to your girlfriend about her paranoia - it will tear the relationship apart if it carries on. There's clearly a lack of trust on her part because if she trusted you then she wouldn't worry about you liking her or wanting to sleep with her. You need to sit down with her and explain that you love your girlfriend, and you'd never cheat on her. Explain that if you didn't love her you wouldn't be with her, and that if she wouldn't behave this way if X was male, then she shouldn't behave like this just because X is female.

    You shouldn't have to talk to your friends less because your girlfriend is jealous. It will create a rift in the relationship and make things very difficult. If she won't see reason then eventually it will cause resentment on both sides and lead to a break up.

    Communication, trust and loyalty are the key to a relationship.
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    (Original post by Blondie987)
    If she's worried about something going on, that's much more a problem with your relationship itself than you hanging out with anyone else. You and this girl know there's nothing going on between you, as long as you're not doing anything inappropriate, your gf has nothing to be worried and if she doesn't trust you, you need to speak to her about her lack of faith, that's not fair on you.
    Yeah we've spoke on many occasions about it but in the end nothing is ever solved all it does is create arguments. Its got to the point where she got annoyed at me cos they went out without me and this girl asked my gf about me
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    (Original post by Blondie987)
    If you're talking about your friend like that maybe you should keep your distance regardless
    Didn't mean it in a harsh way but was the easiest way to describe her
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    You need to talk to your girlfriend about her paranoia - it will tear the relationship apart if it carries on. There's clearly a lack of trust on her part because if she trusted you then she wouldn't worry about you liking her or wanting to sleep with her. You need to sit down with her and explain that you love your girlfriend, and you'd never cheat on her. Explain that if you didn't love her you wouldn't be with her, and that if she wouldn't behave this way if X was male, then she shouldn't behave like this just because X is female.

    You shouldn't have to talk to your friends less because your girlfriend is jealous. It will create a rift in the relationship and make things very difficult. If she won't see reason then eventually it will cause resentment on both sides and lead to a break up.

    Communication, trust and loyalty are the key to a relationship.
    Yeah that's actually true thank you, we've both spoke about cheating and that we'd never do it as we think its stupid, she also knows I have trust issues so I'd never betray someone like that. She does know I love her but she has said I can love her and like someone else too which is childish.

    That's what i've told her and she tells me that she doesn't want that happening but she cant help how she feels
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah that's actually true thank you, we've both spoke about cheating and that we'd never do it as we think its stupid, she also knows I have trust issues so I'd never betray someone like that. She does know I love her but she has said I can love her and like someone else too which is childish.

    That's what i've told her and she tells me that she doesn't want that happening but she cant help how she feels
    My boyfriend and I once had this problem so if you want to talk feel free to PM me

    She is being a bit childish and irrational. remember that it's her problem to deal with, not yours. You shouldn't have to stop seeing your friends for her, a relationship without trust is nothing.

    It's true that how she feels isn't her fault but I don't think she's trying to change the way she thinks. The first thing to do is for you both to openly explain your feelings and talk about your problems. Then you can work on resolving them together. You also need to make sure she understands that she's being irrational - explain that she's a close friend of yours and you don't and never will view her as anything more than that. Explain that your girlfriend is the only one you love and that you'd never cheat.

    She needs to stop bringing up this girl as a potential love interest, because every time you guys discuss it it puts the idea back into her head and keeps it fresh in her mind. Maybe she also needs to have a talk with her friend about this? The three of you might be good to sit down together and discuss this (after you two have discussed it privately). It might put her mind at rest to see for herself that nothing is going on.
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    My boyfriend and I once had this problem so if you want to talk feel free to PM me

    She is being a bit childish and irrational. remember that it's her problem to deal with, not yours. You shouldn't have to stop seeing your friends for her, a relationship without trust is nothing.

    It's true that how she feels isn't her fault but I don't think she's trying to change the way she thinks. The first thing to do is for you both to openly explain your feelings and talk about your problems. Then you can work on resolving them together. You also need to make sure she understands that she's being irrational - explain that she's a close friend of yours and you don't and never will view her as anything more than that. Explain that your girlfriend is the only one you love and that you'd never cheat.

    She needs to stop bringing up this girl as a potential love interest, because every time you guys discuss it it puts the idea back into her head and keeps it fresh in her mind. Maybe she also needs to have a talk with her friend about this? The three of you might be good to sit down together and discuss this (after you two have discussed it privately). It might put her mind at rest to see for herself that nothing is going on.
    Okay thanks I appreciate it, don't really wanna be a big burden though lol

    Yeah I don't think she is, it only seems like its me trying to fix the problem which is hard. I've told her shes being irrational but then she thinks I think shes making everything up

    And with talking to the girl she refuses to do it every time I suggest it as she doesn't want to ruin their friendship which annoys me cos it looks like she cares more about their friendship than our relationship which confuses me as she doesn't trust her either and calls her a whore and other stuff
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay thanks I appreciate it, don't really wanna be a big burden though lol

    Yeah I don't think she is, it only seems like its me trying to fix the problem which is hard. I've told her shes being irrational but then she thinks I think shes making everything up

    And with talking to the girl she refuses to do it every time I suggest it as she doesn't want to ruin their friendship which annoys me cos it looks like she cares more about their friendship than our relationship which confuses me as she doesn't trust her either and calls her a whore and other stuff
    You absolutely wouldn't be a burden so don't worry about that!

    From what you've said here it doesn't sound like this relationship is going anywhere. If she won't have a serious conversation about it, and she won't listen to your point of view, and she just ****s off this other girl, then maybe this relationship isn't the right one for you?
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    You absolutely wouldn't be a burden so don't worry about that!

    From what you've said here it doesn't sound like this relationship is going anywhere. If she won't have a serious conversation about it, and she won't listen to your point of view, and she just ****s off this other girl, then maybe this relationship isn't the right one for you?
    I appreciate the offer but I'll just reply here, thank you though thats very kind of you!

    Well we do have a good relationship and have had no problems ever besides from this issue. We do speak seriously about it but whenever we do I feel like a bad person just for talking to a friend which isn't right and its annoying how she acts like besties with her when she distrusts her so much yet she argues with me if I speak to her and accuses me of spending more time with her that day.

    I have been thinking maybe it's time to leave as if we don't sort this out its gonna get worse but I really love her a lot and would hate for us to end over this.
 
 
 
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