Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Is this bullying even though she chooses to live at home? watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    My sister is 31 and still lives at home, she has had jobs but hasn't worked much in the past she has a previous degree in nursing then changed her mind about careers so is studying to be an occupational therapist now. She has never had many friends and doesn't really socialise apart from going to the gym, she trains most days either going out for a run or in the gym she's done so for the past 10 years but still never has close friends. She didn't have a boyfriend up until being 29 then dated a man 23 years older than her he used to coach her at running. It ended recently though she said that she didn't like sex and he wanted it. I asked her what was wrong but she would t say much else

    She seems happy in herself she's always been a very quiet person who likes being on her own but she doesn't get on with our dad, she stopped speaking to him when she was 15 despite them living in the same house. She had anxiety when she was younger and he always used to call her a lazy idle get. A few weeks ago she was stood in front of the fire and he walked into the room and said that it was boiling, he walked into the kitchen muttering to himself ' a young girl like that she's like a :dolphin::dolphin::dolphin::dolphin:ing 90 year old, :dolphin::dolphin::dolphin::dolphin: off out of the house, :dolphin::dolphin::dolphin::dolphin: off lazy idle crone'. She told me and my mum that 'he's a nasty piece of :dolphin::dolphin::dolphin::dolphin:' as our grandma (mums mum) dies 2 weeks before she was really close to her and used to go round chatting to her or doing jobs whatever most nights. I guess because she was the person she spoke to most it's not helped but then everyone feels depressed when a family member dies. Our grandma didn't like our dad I don't know why exactly but she used to call him. Today apparently my dad walked into my sisters room when she was in bed and said something like ':dolphin::dolphin::dolphin::dolphin:ing disgrace, the rooms like a :dolphin::dolphin::dolphin::dolphin:ing teenagers' then walked out. She was angry about it when telling me and my mum but she never says a word to him.

    She has a few clothes on the floor but I wouldn't say it was that messy, mines a lot worse anyway lol. Anyway she got up and looked tired she was up till 5am she said she was studying but she could have been watching to or something I don't know lol but she went to lie on the couch downstairs, I think he woke her up going in her room. My dad went into the kitchen and started muttering again 'only been up a :dolphin::dolphin::dolphin::dolphin:ing hour and she's asleep again' then he started humming and went back to watch TV. I think she does need to get her own place definately she's way too laid back about it but my dads the laziest person I know, he is either watching to/on a games console or sleeping.

    Oh well, I doubt anyone has a weirder family than me lol but yea it's not nice how my dad is with her but at the same time she's still at home at 31 she's made no effort to move out :/
    • #2

    That sounds really rough for your sister. Emotional bullying is still bullying no matter the circumstances.
    Respect for one another is essential.
    The social stigma in our society generally alludes to the fact that ppl should get jobs and move out pretty early, follow the system, ect. But people are individuals, and it's kinda closed minded to compare individuals against social beliefs.
    Maybe your sister needs the stability of home right now?
    Maybe she would find just as much stability and comfort living out of home?
    Communication is good. Passive aggressiveness is kinda childish. Your dad should probably just talk to your sister about how he feels (nicely) if he has a problem with her living at home.
    anyways good luck
    • #1
    • Thread Starter

Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 1, 2016
Do you agree with the PM's proposal to cut tuition fees for some courses?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.