Age 24 and all of my friends are settling down

Original post by emilyyou

I've just turned 24, live with my Dad and I'm currently single (and have been for a while now). Meanwhile, all of my closest friends are in long term relationships, buying houses, planning on getting engaged etc.

I just feel like I'm really immature and 'behind' in life. Nobody wants to go out for a few drinks anymore and on the rare occasion that we do, the conversations are focused on houses, joint bank accounts, marriage and future kids. It's really getting me down at the moment.

Somebody please tell me they're in the same boat :frown:

It's better not to settle down at 24 and have an awesome life when you're 40.
If it were the other way round (divorces, mortgages and ****), it would be worse.
And btw, since when do people buy houses at 24? :rofl:

Reply 5

Commercial Paper

21

It's probably just your perception of the situation because your friends are achieving or (at least you are perceiving them) to be achieving something that is important to you.

It doesn't matter. Focus on your own life, enjoying yourself, working on your career, whatever gets you going.

For all you know, some of your friends might feel pressure to settle down and actually, settling down rarely works out anyway. If you're with a partner, much better to do it at a later age.

My advice to you is to make yourself the best person you can be, and make yourself happy. Other stuff will follow. It's good to have a loose focus on it but don't stress about it. Your friends in a few years might even be jealous that you were able to have extra time enjoying yourself and found a more suitable partner while they're bored of it.

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Reply 6

Zarek

21

Don't worry, they're bonkers and are probably heading for messy divorces. Good rules for successful marriage are: >=25, with partner for >=5 years of which lived together >=2 years. This said I think 25-30 is the prime time to meet your partner for life and you shouldn't let blatantly unsuitable relationships eat up this time.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 7

MagicNMedicine

I think there's a bit of one-upmanship with people who like to go on about these things, like they have made it in one of the challenges of life in terms of finding a partner and then being able to get a house and stuff. A lot of that kind of stuff is really boring and behind closed doors causes arguments between people because it's such a commitment.

There are literally loads of 20 somethings, 30 somethings and even 40 somethings that are single, still rent or live at home. It's a reality of the modern economy.

Through life your friendship circles have to evolve a bit, it can feel a bit rubbish if everyone you know seems to have a partner. Just don't put pressure on yourself to compete with them or feel like you can't be whole unless you have someone, there are a lot of great things you can do in life as a single person that you are more difficult in a relationship so you just have to take advantages of the best parts of your situation.

Reply 8

VinnieVentura

Original post by emilyyou

I've just turned 24, live with my Dad and I'm currently single (and have been for a while now). Meanwhile, all of my closest friends are in long term relationships, buying houses, planning on getting engaged etc.

I just feel like I'm really immature and 'behind' in life. Nobody wants to go out for a few drinks anymore and on the rare occasion that we do, the conversations are focused on houses, joint bank accounts, marriage and future kids. It's really getting me down at the moment.

Somebody please tell me they're in the same boat :frown:

I'm in the same boat, you have nothing to worry about.

I am also 24 and not planning on getting married until at least 30 years old.

Who on earth marries at 24?.
Big mistake if you ask me.

Reply 9

Blackstarr

Don't worry, a lot of the things you see or perceive are more or less skewed.

Being in a relationship, having kids and houses are not the beginning of true happiness.

Please focus on yourself and don't use other people to compare yourself because you are you and your time will come.

Reply 10

Original post by emilyyou

I've just turned 24, live with my Dad and I'm currently single (and have been for a while now). Meanwhile, all of my closest friends are in long term relationships, buying houses, planning on getting engaged etc.

I just feel like I'm really immature and 'behind' in life. Nobody wants to go out for a few drinks anymore and on the rare occasion that we do, the conversations are focused on houses, joint bank accounts, marriage and future kids. It's really getting me down at the moment.

Somebody please tell me they're in the same boat :frown:

Your friends just sound real real boring. 24 and all of that? Really? I am 25 and have so much I still want to achieve.

I hazard to guess these are the same type of fools that used to go out habitually thinking it is their last chance of freedom because they have some stupid idea that they have a sell by date by mid 20s. . .

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by emilyyou

I've just turned 24, live with my Dad and I'm currently single (and have been for a while now). Meanwhile, all of my closest friends are in long term relationships, buying houses, planning on getting engaged etc.

I just feel like I'm really immature and 'behind' in life. Nobody wants to go out for a few drinks anymore and on the rare occasion that we do, the conversations are focused on houses, joint bank accounts, marriage and future kids. It's really getting me down at the moment.

Somebody please tell me they're in the same boat :frown:

Yeah, I'm a 24 year old, and I'm finding the same thing. Tbh, I think it's just being single is a big issue. If I was in a long-term relationship, I think I'd feel OK.

Reply 12

Original post by YouHaveProblems

You are 24 and still on the student room. Isn't that enough to be said?

She could be studying? Stop trying to bully a girl on a student forum. I think you must have the small cock syndrome.

Reply 13

YouHaveProblems

1

Original post by James.Carnell

She could be studying? Stop trying to bully a girl on a student forum. I think you must have the small cock syndrome.

1. That's not bullying
2. She is a woman
3. Studentroom is mainly targeted at teenagers, and even if she is still studying she is deciding to spend her time on a sight filled with inexperience immature kids talking about sex or other stupid things.
4. What you said to me is easily considered bullying, and much more worse than what i said.
5. Who said i was a man
6. stfu

Reply 14

Original post by sr90

I'm single, unemployed with no friends and I live in isolation. I'm a complete ****ing failure compared to everyone my age who lives with their long term partner, is settled in a career, maybe has a child or two or owns their own home.

Worst thing is i've accepted that nothing is ever going to change.

That means **** all seriously. You need to get a ****ing grip.

Jobs these days pay sweet **** all. I am now saving more by personal ventures than I did when i was doing 9-6. They are more than likely poor as **** with a family life that most people get bored of. Ok, maybe I am different in that all I care about is money. But, I really see no redeeming benefit from all of that kids and mortgage **** you go on about. Really the only frustrating aspect of my life is that I have not made it in a career yet... but really how many people are being paid big bucks? You think their 40k a year jobs are enough? Your standards are low man and you are a lot better than you think. Get a grip. You can be hugely successful, you need to focus on the fundamentals first. That is, personal success. The rest of what you may want will follow.

Reply 15

Original post by YouHaveProblems

1. That's not bullying
2. She is a woman
3. Studentroom is mainly targeted at teenagers, and even if she is still studying she is deciding to spend her time on a sight filled with inexperience immature kids talking about sex or other stupid things.
4. What you said to me is easily considered bullying, and much more worse than what i said.
5. Who said i was a man
6. stfu

You clearly have a piss poor comprehension of bullying. I refuse to reason with an intellectually incapable individual like yourself.

Get off your high horse, you clearly don't have many friends.

I am defending her from your aggression. The only way bullies like you respond is via violence. Violence solves everything.

Reply 16

Allie4

well about 50% of girls from my school either married and/or had kids or are in long-term relationships but then of course the other 50% are not, so still a good percentage in the same boat as me. not that it matters though anyways, i was never jealous when the one girl from my close clique settled down and got married, mainly because its not the lifestyle that i want. theres nothing wrong with it, you said you feel too immature therefore marriage is not for you right now and thats the case for a lot of people our age and still single. theres nothing wrong with us, this does not mean that we are 'failing' at life or anything, we're single by choice. heck even at 30 I still wouldn't want to be married. 32-34 maybe but i think realistically i'd rather just have a partner at that age

Reply 17

Original post by Allie4

well about 50% of girls from my school either married and/or had kids or are in long-term relationships but then of course the other 50% are not, so still a good percentage in the same boat as me. not that it matters though anyways, i was never jealous when the one girl from my close clique settled down and got married, mainly because its not the lifestyle that i want. theres nothing wrong with it, you said you feel too immature therefore marriage is not for you right now and thats the case for a lot of people our age and still single. theres nothing wrong with us, this does not mean that we are 'failing' at life or anything, we're single by choice. heck even at 30 I still wouldn't want to be married. 32-34 maybe but i think realistically i'd rather just have a partner at that age

I am going to refrain from starting a family because I hate my own family and my original culture. Hence the 'failing at life' comment from another poster is just a bit insulting to me in my context.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 18

Allie4