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    Hi, i have been in the friendzone for a year now and i got some s*** i'd like to get off my chest... so here's the story:

    Last year (in january) i met a girl (from now on I will call her P) in college who was really nice and interesting... so we started talking daily. The problem is that she started to tell me that she loved me and how smart and romantic i was. At the begging i thought that we just were messing around and those conversations we had were just for fun. But, as the time passed, i began to have feelings for her and i thought she had feelings for me too so i asked her to go have a drink but she rejected. The fact that P always told me she wasn't superficial made me think i had i shot. We would see each other everyday in class for like 5 hours and I really thought we had chemistry, our conversations were so interesting and fun that I would think about them all day long. I fell in love. But then one day something happened when i got out of class. I spotted P with another guy at the cafeteria. He used to tell me everything about her life but didn't mention that guy, not even once. So that same night i talked to her and i told her that i loved her. P told me that she had always seen me as her bestfriend or like her brother and she fell some kind of attraction to that guy but she didn't want him as a boyfriend but like a f*ckbuddy. Then she told me that she can't go out with any guys because she had strict parents and that was the reason she couldn't go out with me to have a drink.

    Anyways, we continued talking and the conversations were getting more interesting every single day. P said to me several times that she loved me making me believe that she was willing to be my girlfriend but i thought maybe the timing wasn't right (because of her parents). Maybe for that reason she didn't tell me she wanted me as her boyfriend. At the begging of July she went out to a party with her female friends and she called that guy i was talking about earlier and they f*cked in his car. They did that twice in two weeks before she told me. When P told me (1 week later) i got mad because she didn't tell me on the same day so we threw shades to each other and stopped talking. We didn't talk all the rest of the summer but then we started college again so we made peace and started talking again. P told me that guy was a jerk and they only had sex twice.

    So fast forward to this summer, last month P told me she wanted a boyfriend, she needed love, she was willing to sneak out from her parents and go out with someone. And then my heart broke into pieces. She told me about a guy she liked and wished he talked to him. Every single hope that i had to be with her turned into dust. I mean if this girl wasn't superficial i would be the perfect boyfriend for her (and she knows). But, as you can see, it's not the case (even tho she told me she wasn't superficial). P is 3 years older than me and I'm average in looks so maybe that is the reason. So now i have to pretend that i don't care she talks to me about others boys but I'm dying inside when she does that.

    So what do you guys advise me to do? I should mention that when I'm not talking to her, I'm thinking about her and what she might be doing...

    PS: I tried to make a long story short but failed lol (sorry) oh and sorry for my english too!
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    (Original post by nostalgiaultra)
    Hi, i have been in the friendzone for a year now and i got some s*** i'd like to get off my chest... so here's the story:

    Last year (in january) i met a girl (from now on I will call her P) in college who was really nice and interesting... so we started talking daily. The problem is that she started to tell me that she loved me and how smart and romantic i was. At the begging i thought that we just were messing around and those conversations we had were just for fun. But, as the time passed, i began to have feelings for her and i thought she had feelings for me too so i asked her to go have a drink but she rejected. The fact that P always told me she wasn't superficial made me think i had i shot. We would see each other everyday in class for like 5 hours and I really thought we had chemistry, our conversations were so interesting and fun that I would think about them all day long. I fell in love. But then one day something happened when i got out of class. I spotted P with another guy at the cafeteria. He used to tell me everything about her life but didn't mention that guy, not even once. So that same night i talked to her and i told her that i loved her. P told me that she had always seen me as her bestfriend or like her brother and she fell some kind of attraction to that guy but she didn't want him as a boyfriend but like a f*ckbuddy. Then she told me that she can't go out with any guys because she had strict parents and that was the reason she couldn't go out with me to have a drink.

    Anyways, we continued talking and the conversations were getting more interesting every single day. P said to me several times that she loved me making me believe that she was willing to be my girlfriend but i thought maybe the timing wasn't right (because of her parents). Maybe for that reason she didn't tell me she wanted me as her boyfriend. At the begging of July she went out to a party with her female friends and she called that guy i was talking about earlier and they f*cked in his car. They did that twice in two weeks before she told me. When P told me (1 week later) i got mad because she didn't tell me on the same day so we threw shades to each other and stopped talking. We didn't talk all the rest of the summer but then we started college again so we made peace and started talking again. P told me that guy was a jerk and they only had sex twice.

    So fast forward to this summer, last month P told me she wanted a boyfriend, she needed love, she was willing to sneak out from her parents and go out with someone. And then my heart broke into pieces. She told me about a guy she liked and wished he talked to him. Every single hope that i had to be with her turned into dust. I mean if this girl wasn't superficial i would be the perfect boyfriend for her (and she knows). But, as you can see, it's not the case (even tho she told me she wasn't superficial). P is 3 years older than me and I'm average in looks so maybe that is the reason. So now i have to pretend that i don't care she talks to me about others boys but I'm dying inside when she does that.

    So what do you guys advise me to do? I should mention that when I'm not talking to her, I'm thinking about her and what she might be doing...

    PS: I tried to make a long story short but failed lol (sorry) oh and sorry for my english too!
    It sounds like you have gotten too attached and that's not healthy. I would have started to move on after being rejected the second time to be honest. It's been almost a year since that happened and you're still invested in her a lot. I really think it's time to move on, by the sound of it she's not romantically interested in you and that hasn't really changed much in the last year (if she liked you, she wouldn't really tell you about other guys she's interested in). Get some hobbies in the summer and meet new people, you can't pin all your hopes on one girl.
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    just move on she clearly doesn't want you as a boyfriend. And if she does you are third in line. I would never date someone that saw me a a second choice because they couldn't get with someone else.
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    For your own sanity, you need to move past this. All the signs were there - a girl who says she "loves" you but doesn't see you as more than a brother is obviously a lying cow. This is what girls do - they make out that they're interested, then they get cold feet and run away, which leaves you to pick up the pieces. It sounds like she doesn't know how strong the word "love" actually means and she was just throwing it out casually because it's what you wanted to hear. Don't listen to ******* like that - cut loose, don't ever speak to her again and find someone who is going to reciprocate your feelings. Don't hang around waiting for someone to start liking you, cos they won't. Declare your interest early and if they don't respond, move onto the next chick.
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    I'm sorry mate, she is not interested in that way. Its clear she values you as a friend however don't stay there. All the while she is a friend you will feel the memories. You have too much emotional history and complexity. If she would have wanted you as a boyfriend you would know. I don't mean to be a ******* but jerks get the ****s in life! You're a nice guy! I can see you care! Niceness, care and attentiveness allows a woman to build a connection with you (which you have) however it is not a connection in the way that you would like.

    It's hard bro and I feel you, but in a year you'll be pleased to have left her. Stay in touch or whatever as 'friends', but not as mates friends if you know what I mean. If she really wanted you as her boyfriend she would make her way round restrictions, and now that she has viewed you as this brother character she always will.

    I'm really sorry but don't worry too much. Good luck.
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    (Original post by samuelfairbrass)
    I'm sorry mate, she is not interested in that way. Its clear she values you as a friend however don't stay there. All the while she is a friend you will feel the memories. You have too much emotional history and complexity. If she would have wanted you as a boyfriend you would know. I don't mean to be a ******* but jerks get the ****s in life! You're a nice guy! I can see you care! Niceness, care and attentiveness allows a woman to build a connection with you (which you have) however it is not a connection in the way that you would like.

    It's hard bro and I feel you, but in a year you'll be pleased to have left her. Stay in touch or whatever as 'friends', but not as mates friends if you know what I mean. If she really wanted you as her boyfriend she would make her way round restrictions, and now that she has viewed you as this brother character she always will.

    I'm really sorry but don't worry too much. Good luck.
    Thank you so much bro! It really means a lot to get such an emotional message!
    I think that you are right, I will stay as friends with her but not as "best mates", I think it will be the best. It's just hard to do so when you get no love from someone you thought was the one. But sooner or later I'll meet someone else and I'll get over it. Thank you again, peace out.
 
 
 
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