I'm 20 and pregnant but..
I'm due to start uni September. also my boyfriend is 28 has a decent job and house. he told me he was ready to settle down however I'm no way near ready. yesterday I found out I was pregnant and today he said he felt bad because he got me pregnant on purpose and that he thought i should know before i do anything. i stormed out in anger and I haven't spoken to him since
all my plans are ruined and I haven't got a life anymore. all my hopes of going uni are ruined. my life is such a mess how could he do this to me. life is so unfair 😟😟
all my plans are ruined and I haven't got a life anymore. all my hopes of going uni are ruined. my life is such a mess how could he do this to me. life is so unfair 😟😟
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Original post by eden3
how many weeks pregnant are you?
How did he get you pregnant on purpose firstly you need to take responsibility
That's extremely manipulative and dishonest of your boyfriend. Such behaviour is a huge red flag: he sounds like the kind of person who's going to be emotionally abusive later on if he isn't already. I don't think you should include him in your decision-making process—just think about the baby (assuming you believe its life has already started) and your personal welfare and do what's best on that basis.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm due to start uni September. also my boyfriend is 28 has a decent job and house. he told me he was ready to settle down however I'm no way near ready. yesterday I found out I was pregnant and today he said he felt bad because he got me pregnant on purpose and that he thought i should know before i do anything. i stormed out in anger and I haven't spoken to him since
all my plans are ruined and I haven't got a life anymore. all my hopes of going uni are ruined. my life is such a mess how could he do this to me. life is so unfair 😟😟
all my plans are ruined and I haven't got a life anymore. all my hopes of going uni are ruined. my life is such a mess how could he do this to me. life is so unfair 😟😟
I will tell you what I would do in your situation and you can take from that what you wish. I don't want to tell you what to do or advise you because it's a big decision and belongs to you.
1. Most importantly, I would NOT want a baby with someone who had secretly got me pregnant on purpose without feeling the need to discuss his want for a baby or the practicalities of BRINGING A NEW LIFE into this world with me... or whether I even wanted to be pregnant. I wouldn't want to create a life with someone who is so selfish, manipulative and sly. He's clearly either mentally unstable, a complete ars*hole or both. I would dump him immediately.
2. If I didn't feel ready to have a baby then I wouldn't. If I was about to start university then I wouldn't have a baby. I would have my whole life ahead of me and I would want to wait until I could properly support a child emotionally, financially and time-wise too. I would want to finish my education first and I wouldn't want a baby to stop me from doing what I wanted while I was still young. I would want a baby with someone I had CHOSEN to have a baby with. A baby takes over your life for the next 18+ years.
3. I wouldn't go through with the pregnancy and I would have an abortion.
(edited 6 years ago)
He's a psycho, he's forced a baby upon you and literally changed the course of your life. He has no right. 
If I were you, I'd abort the baby and dump the son of a *****
Get an abortion... I am19 (was 18 at the time) and I was in the same position last year but with a 35 year old, now at Exeter doing Economics. No way would I have been able to cope. You cannot trust this person honestly, but if you want it have it, but won't be a good relationship or fair on baby to not have a good father figure.
I know that I am just 17 and in no position to give you advice on these matters.
That guy was manipulating you to get what he wants eventually; control over your life. Since you are in no position to raise a baby by yourself, why not give the baby for adoption. Since you only recently found out that you were pregnant, I am guessing that the fetus is only a couple of weeks old. These are my views only; that baby has played no role in your relationship. So, if I were you, I would give the baby up for adoption because I am sure that there are many people who are willing to provide the best care for your baby while you finish off your studies.
Again, donot judge me. I am younger than you. These are my views.I really hope that you wouldn't get angry with me.
That guy was manipulating you to get what he wants eventually; control over your life. Since you are in no position to raise a baby by yourself, why not give the baby for adoption. Since you only recently found out that you were pregnant, I am guessing that the fetus is only a couple of weeks old. These are my views only; that baby has played no role in your relationship. So, if I were you, I would give the baby up for adoption because I am sure that there are many people who are willing to provide the best care for your baby while you finish off your studies.
Again, donot judge me. I am younger than you. These are my views.I really hope that you wouldn't get angry with me.
What the guy has done is completely wrong, and would surely be classed as sexual assault - as the sex cannot have been consensual, if you believed he was wearing protection and he had purposefully lied to you.
Loool people on this site are cruel & straightforward, then again (a hard truth is better than a soft lie). However, i personally wouldn't use a forum for advice on personal matters, but talk to a close friend or family whom you can trust.
Btw good luck, make the right decision love...
Btw good luck, make the right decision love...
You should honestly reflect on whether you feel you can raise the child at the same quality of life that you'd have dreamed you'd have for it. I would never encourage people to consider abortion but too many people will on the flip side encourage you to abandon any life prospects so long as you look after your child.
Your bf sounds like a douche, ignore him until you've come to a decision, talk to your family and your uni.
I've actually seen both sides, a friend of mine was planning on heading to university then got pregnant with her bf (accident) - the bf (also a friend of mine) was happy to support her but the girl was horrified, even so, she had a great family support network, but she dropped out of her course (Business) and now is a full time mum living with her parents.
On the flip side I know another friend of mine who had no aspirations to work, found a boyfriend making dollar, then was quite happy to not work.
You sound like you have a plan in place whereby once your secure financially (and with partner) then you can raise children happily. It doesn't sound like your ready for that. Consider if you were to have the child what kind of support you have (family....maybe the bf?) and what you would want. Realistically review just how much time you can spare to work/study but remember that work and universities are generally supportive of young parents.
Tough choice, but ultimately only your own, no one on this forum can answer it for you, I can give an opinion about what I would do, but it's ultimately yours.
Your bf sounds like a douche, ignore him until you've come to a decision, talk to your family and your uni.
I've actually seen both sides, a friend of mine was planning on heading to university then got pregnant with her bf (accident) - the bf (also a friend of mine) was happy to support her but the girl was horrified, even so, she had a great family support network, but she dropped out of her course (Business) and now is a full time mum living with her parents.
On the flip side I know another friend of mine who had no aspirations to work, found a boyfriend making dollar, then was quite happy to not work.
You sound like you have a plan in place whereby once your secure financially (and with partner) then you can raise children happily. It doesn't sound like your ready for that. Consider if you were to have the child what kind of support you have (family....maybe the bf?) and what you would want. Realistically review just how much time you can spare to work/study but remember that work and universities are generally supportive of young parents.
Tough choice, but ultimately only your own, no one on this forum can answer it for you, I can give an opinion about what I would do, but it's ultimately yours.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm due to start uni September. also my boyfriend is 28 has a decent job and house. he told me he was ready to settle down however I'm no way near ready. yesterday I found out I was pregnant and today he said he felt bad because he got me pregnant on purpose and that he thought i should know before i do anything. i stormed out in anger and I haven't spoken to him since
all my plans are ruined and I haven't got a life anymore. all my hopes of going uni are ruined. my life is such a mess how could he do this to me. life is so unfair 😟😟
all my plans are ruined and I haven't got a life anymore. all my hopes of going uni are ruined. my life is such a mess how could he do this to me. life is so unfair 😟😟
Take him to court he said he got your pregnant on purpose... sue him ..
Original post by Anonymous
I'm due to start uni September. also my boyfriend is 28 has a decent job and house. he told me he was ready to settle down however I'm no way near ready. yesterday I found out I was pregnant and today he said he felt bad because he got me pregnant on purpose and that he thought i should know before i do anything. i stormed out in anger and I haven't spoken to him since
all my plans are ruined and I haven't got a life anymore. all my hopes of going uni are ruined. my life is such a mess how could he do this to me. life is so unfair 😟😟
all my plans are ruined and I haven't got a life anymore. all my hopes of going uni are ruined. my life is such a mess how could he do this to me. life is so unfair 😟😟
What uni tho?
If you defer entry for a couple of years then the Uni and DWP will be very supportive.
You wouldn't have the same social life as others, but you would potentially be more determined to achieve a good degree.
It sounds like you are better off alone than with your current partner...
You wouldn't have the same social life as others, but you would potentially be more determined to achieve a good degree.
It sounds like you are better off alone than with your current partner...
Original post by Anonymous
Get an abortion... I am19 (was 18 at the time) and I was in the same position last year but with a 35 year old, now at Exeter doing Economics. No way would I have been able to cope. You cannot trust this person honestly, but if you want it have it, but won't be a good relationship or fair on baby to not have a good father figure.
You may not see it now but in about 10 years you'll realise how disgustingly vile that 35 year old was for putting you in that position, he should have known a hell of a lot better. The mental maturity (due to life experience) of someone 18 and 35 is world's apart. Apologies in advance for sounding patronising but it's true and you won't see it now but as you get older you will. If it was male or female I'd say the same. I can't even say I don't know what he was thinking as unfortunately I do.
Original post by karl pilkington
Why were those muslims raping those girls in rochdale then?
Although I don't think his comment was helpful at all...Not sure how he's supposed to know, ask them. That would be like asking a Christian... myself, why Catholic priests rape/molest little boys and the Vatican have been covering it up for decades... or why the 'Christian' KKK think its appropriate to rape/burn alive/lynch people under the guise of Christianity...Not questions I could answer
Original post by randy orton
What uni tho?
queen mary why?
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