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How can I help my girlfriend who suffers from PTSD?

Hi everyone,

I'm making this post so I can get some advice on how to help my girlfriend and myself as we are in a difficult situation right now.

Basically, I got with my girlfriend back in May, before we started dating I knew about her past, abusive relationship through a group that where we met online. Going into this relationship I knew we would have some difficulties and I was prepared for that and to be there for her. Unfortunately we went to separate Universities (an hour train ride away) at the time and could only see each other for a little bit each week, however we dealt with this and it was fine. We both went back home over the Summer, I went back to my parents in Somerset and her in Cumbria, knowing that we would be long distance more so over the Summer. There were things we argued about over that time and things she said that were to do with her previous partner, her afraid of getting hurt, she found it difficult to get close to me and she looked for ways to end the relationship as she was terrified about getting hurt again. However as time went on and I paid a trip to Cumbria, she grew closer to me and felt more secure. But still acted impulsively at times and looked to get away. She decided that she was going to take a sabbatical from her final year until she can get her mental health sorted out, which meant she would stay up in Cumbria till she finds a job and moves back down to her University city as that’s where she is happiest and has counselling set up for when she returns.

Unfortunately it has got to the stage where she’s not received any job offers and still stuck in Cumbria and has decided not to look for any work until January next year. She is stuck in a job where she is not appreciated and in a place she does not feel comfortable in, she is depressed due to her PTSD and also for the fact she can’t move back anytime soon, things are uncertain and that’s causing her to be anxious and lash out at me a lot. In my final year of uni, I already feel stressed because of my dissertation and other modules and instead of being the supportive person I’ve been over the summer, I’ve retaliated out of frustration and said things to her I shouldn’t have. I’ve been finding it increasingly difficult to juggle this relationship and University work to the point where I’ve considered breaking up with her.

However I know she loves me and I love her, when we don’t argue we are fine, we see each other once a month and never argue when together. These past couple of weeks have been pretty bad in terms of arguing and I won’t break up with her unless I’m 100% certain that it’s the right thing to do. Just want some advice on how to best support my girlfriend who is suffering from PTSD.

Thanks for reading, I do appreciate it.

Reply 1

crocodile_ears

Tell her you want to help, and then ask her how. She knows her issues better than TSR does!

You should talk about how you feel, but be sensitive and make sure she feels calm in the conversation. Be like "We're both anxious and going through some stuff right now, and I don't want that to damage what we have so I think we should talk about how we can help each other."

Reply 2

Tiger Rag

Is your girlfriend getting support for her PTSD?

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Not at the moment, she's doing self-counseling for it but doesn't want to get help in Cumbria as she's told me the mental health team there aren't very effective. When she moves back closer to me she has professional therapy waiting for her.

Original post by Tiger Rag

Is your girlfriend getting support for her PTSD?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

I have told her I want to help and asked her how we've discussed things in great detail. Something we are both trying to do is find out how to help each other, I'm just seeing if there's anything else I can do that might help me better support her and stop us from getting frustrated at each other.

Thank you for the comment.

Original post by crocodile_ears