Girlfriend says I barely talk to her in an evening

A few days ago I was sat on the couch with my girlfriend and she turned to me and said I barely speak to her in an evening anymore after work and I just replied saying "I need some quiet time" which was the first time I'd ever used that phrase but she has used it on me virtually every single day when she gets home from work.

Now I will say her job is under threat as the business she works for is making redundancies and her department is going to close so she is fully expecting to lose her job. I have tried to support her through all of this, I have told her we can survive on my wage for a few months, I have offered to help her put a CV together to which she has replied "I can't be bothered right now I'll do it another day" but that day has never arrived. She has also had an offer to go back to her old job and I have told her to take it as it will be guaranteed she's got a job but she says she wants to hold off and wait for her redundancy pay before going back to her old job, which I have told her is extremely risky as her old job might not be available forever. The response I got to this was "your job is safe so you don't know how stressed I am" I feel like I am trying to help but nothing is working so I have decided to leave her to it.

Additionally I am having my own issues. I started suffering with chest pain about a month ago when I was exercising and I only get it when I am exercising. I went to the doctors and did a blood test and other things and they ruled out asthma. However I have still been having these issues so went back to the doctor and now they are sending me for a chest x-ray which is worrying me in case I have something serious.

I just feel like I have got a lot going on at the moment and I am right at the edge of what I can handle so if I barely want to talk maybe my girlfriend should realise the reasons for that?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

A few days ago I was sat on the couch with my girlfriend and she turned to me and said I barely speak to her in an evening anymore after work and I just replied saying "I need some quiet time" which was the first time I'd ever used that phrase but she has used it on me virtually every single day when she gets home from work.

Now I will say her job is under threat as the business she works for is making redundancies and her department is going to close so she is fully expecting to lose her job. I have tried to support her through all of this, I have told her we can survive on my wage for a few months, I have offered to help her put a CV together to which she has replied "I can't be bothered right now I'll do it another day" but that day has never arrived. She has also had an offer to go back to her old job and I have told her to take it as it will be guaranteed she's got a job but she says she wants to hold off and wait for her redundancy pay before going back to her old job, which I have told her is extremely risky as her old job might not be available forever. The response I got to this was "your job is safe so you don't know how stressed I am" I feel like I am trying to help but nothing is working so I have decided to leave her to it.

Additionally I am having my own issues. I started suffering with chest pain about a month ago when I was exercising and I only get it when I am exercising. I went to the doctors and did a blood test and other things and they ruled out asthma. However I have still been having these issues so went back to the doctor and now they are sending me for a chest x-ray which is worrying me in case I have something serious.

I just feel like I have got a lot going on at the moment and I am right at the edge of what I can handle so if I barely want to talk maybe my girlfriend should realise the reasons for that?

This is one of them situations where we have to assume what is going on . From my perspective as a girl , i understand her situation however it's not a reasonable excuse for her actions . She has to recognise that she has someone amazing and supportive there for her ( you r that person ) she has to realise that she has someone she can rely on . At the same time she has to also bare in mind that this is a 2 sided relationship , u are also suffering , u are also going through something . She has to support u the same way u are supporting her . Being a women isn't easy , we go through a lot of moodswings , therfore she may say things she doesn't necessarly mean . I highly recommend that u both sit down and have a serious deep talk . Express ur worries and problems , explain to her ur problems and explain to her that u r worried about her and u are here to support her and help her make better choices even if she doesn't feel like doing them .

Reply 2

nonchalant-

9

How's your dating life with her?
Do you spend enough quality time together?

Maybe she's starting to feel more like roommates.

Reply 3

username6318874

7

As a girl, to me it sounds like she is being a little selfish. Though she is experiencing stress at work, you are experiencing financial stress knowing that her job could fall apart any moment leaving you to support you both aswell as relationship stress and stress of physical health. She needs to take a step back and look at the best options available instead of blaming you. It is her job and she is responsible for ensuring that it is secure. If she has had an offer from a previous job that is more secure then that is obviously the best option and should be considered at the top of the list.

Also, if she says that she needs quiet time after work then you should be able to do the same. END OF