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When SHOULD someone be insecure?

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If the insecurity is something that genuinely diminishes your life AND you can do something to change it, then you should be insecure.

"insecure" would be the wrong word, rather it's something you know you should work on.

Reply 21

999tigger

Original post by oldboy2007

probably the bottom 2, i'd say.

I frequently voice the political opinion that illegal refugee boats should be torpedoed or shot before reaching the shores of Europe as a cost effective deterrent on social media, for example.

Then thats down to immaturity or what madness says. As you grow older then you may develop a greater understanding and appreciation for people in different situations.

As for why people might tell the person he is insecure, then it might be because he doesnt recognise the issue, but their ability or willingness to provide further advice is limited.

If you cant feel compassion or empathise, then you might find hat stops you developing relationships with others later on. You might learn it and you might not.

Reply 22

username2981082

Everyone has their insecurities. We are all insecure about something about ourselves. You learn to deal with your insecurities though by recognising the fact that you can't be a perfect human being and having flaws/weaknesses is part of human nature.

Reply 23

oldboy2007

Original post by 999tigger

Well I'm 28 now, so I'm old enough. I've never had a relationship because I was never worthy or not worthy of my resources, a hot girl quickly found my better, some interest from ugly ones would only have been useful in the context of practice, which I think unless I have the base attributes to be get better it would be a waste of my resources at present, which I do not have a lot of.

I don't think I really feel any compassion on an emotional level, I can empathise, for eg I can recognise that were I a refugee, I too would like to come go to a developed Western country. But I simply don't care, I still want them shot, because I am not a refugee and if I was, then I should expect to be unwelcome. I recently made a thread about sterilising the poor in exchange for lifetime benefit to reduce future liabilities on the state. Someone suggested I be sterilised and I said that would be acceptable were I in need of such a proposal.

I imagine any relationship I may have in the future will be dysfunctional and short-lived, characterised by power play, deceit, cheating, insecurities, upgrades and rebounds. Any marriage would be a marriage of convenience until such times that it would be no longer convenient.

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 24

harrythomas14

Original post by oldboy2007

There are many numbers of threads where someone is clearly insecure, and quite often too, there is a clear reason why. Yet most of the replies suggest that they shouldn't be insecure, or that insecurity is a bad thing. I mean, sure it is "bad" in the sense that it usually indicates a personal dificiency, but it shouldn't be bad in and of itself.

That is to say, unless you think no one should be insecure ever, you should admit that under certain circumstances, one should be as insecure as they deserve to be and that one could have the right level of insecurity.

People generally tend to give ******** soapy platitudes, so I ask you to think. Tell me a scenario where you would actually tell an OP, that "you know what? you're right to be as insecure as you are"?

I don't think it's a case of 'deserving', so to speak, but it's more that they wouldn't be blamed for being insecure.

Breaking down the word, in-secure translates directly to un-safe. A person would be right in their insecurity should they feel threatened, be it in a life or death situation or stepping out of their comfort zone - both are unfamiliar territory (for most).

It can also be applied to situations with factors that a person cannot control, e.g. someone with a fear or flying on a plane worried about whether they'll survive the flight or not. Another example - though far smaller - could be someone going out in nothing but shorts and a vest and the weather suddenly turns from sunny to torrential downpour (small I know, but still).

My 2 cents.