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    Please can someone give me advice. I don't know what to do, my boyfriend is going into the military as an officer and I can't help but worry what it's gonna mean for us or what kind of danger he will be in. I know it's a long way off at the moment but I still can help but think about it. Does anyone have any advice on ways to make things work?
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    (Original post by Bells Scott)
    Please can someone give me advice. I don't know what to do, my boyfriend is going into the military as an officer and I can't help but worry what it's gonna mean for us or what kind of danger he will be in. I know it's a long way off at the moment but I still can help but think about it. Does anyone have any advice on ways to make things work?
    Best way is to talk to each other.

    You can express your concern and worries, whilst still accepting he will join up.

    He should listen.

    He can express his concerns and needs, then you should listen.

    Work out a compromise between the two plus any steps and a plan you can follow which involves effort from both. Communication, contact etc.

    The danger is just part of it and he wont have much say as to where he goes. You need to accept somethings and he can compromise and reassure on others. If he isnt prepared to, then consider whether you want to follow it for the next several years? If he wont listen, then, then maybe hes not the right person for you. You will have to compromise as well.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Best way is to talk to each other.

    You can express your concern and worries, whilst still accepting he will join up.

    He should listen.

    He can express his concerns and needs, then you should listen.

    Work out a compromise between the two plus any steps and a plan you can follow which involves effort from both. Communication, contact etc.

    The danger is just part of it and he wont have much say as to where he goes. You need to accept somethings and he can compromise and reassure on others. If he isnt prepared to, then consider whether you want to follow it for the next several years? If he wont listen, then, then maybe hes not the right person for you.
    Thank you, it's just a hard things to come to terms with. I will try talking to him about it.
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    (Original post by Bells Scott)
    Thank you, it's just a hard things to come to terms with. I will try talking to him about it.
    If its a lifelong ambition then I dont think theres much mileage in ultimatums. You need to understand and support or he will resent you if he has to give it up.

    If you cant cope, then get out.
 
 
 
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