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Dealing with rejections in life

What's good people.

Happy Christmas to all of those who celebrate it! As much as it is the festive season and to be jolly, this year is no different to me. Still at home with the same loving family every friggin day of my life which is good.

Anyways, there is something pressing in my mind and that is rejections. I've been rejected a lot in my life and recently it has been hitting me real real hard. Like real hard. Basically, I was kind of made redundant 4 months ago and have been struggling with finding a job. Been going to interviews and going through phone interviews but no one seems to want me, which is starting to get to me. Like people say, forget them move on and stay positive. But it is much easier said than done, and the people who say it tend to be in a much better position in life. Like for me, it's like people don't like me for who I am. I got a First Class Computer Science degree, worked two previous jobs at large corporations/organisations and yet I am struggling.

Not only that, I have been rejected personally in life within social settings. My very cousins that I have been doing favours have created their own social group on social media platforms like WhatsApp and Snapchat and they tend to talk about life on there. AND YET I'M NOT IN THAT GROUP. It's like I'm being used which I bl00dy am. They literally all use me and half of them live abroad. They come to England and I take them round in my car and the thanks I get is them creating their own social group with other cousins in England and excluding me.

I've got no friends in life and have like a paranoid/serious personality. People tend to not joke around with me and I don't feel comfort with banter. My childhood of being bullied and my dyslexia in my high school and younger years meant that I was perceived as "retarded" by other peers and teachers alike. I once famously had a teacher say to my parents that I would be lucky to even make it to the sixth form, yet uni. Here I am with a First Class Honours Degree. But still, rejected with no girl in life so I dunno.

Happy Christmas still! Hope people can help me out on here

Reply 1

anonymous0518

Okay so the festive season has that vibe that will definitely make you feel more lonely than any other time of the year. I feel it too. Just honestly, try and focus on yourself. I hope everything has been going okay since you posted this.

Reply 2

Rooboid

Aw man, this was hard to read. I'm so sorry for what's happening with you lately, and being made redundant is a real blow...

On a side note, a big congratulations for you getting that first class degree though, and making it through education and two big-sounding jobs. From friends of mines experience, dealing with the stigma in education regarding dyslexia isn't easy either, so again, really good on you!

Bad luck always seems to come in clusters at the worst times, and it's just a real pain. You feel like you're getting back up from the last blow, and something else knocks you back down. But all those interviews and applications are worth it, it's all another point towards your employability, interview experience and personal confidence. Every little contribution to better yourself, whether it seems plentiful or trivial at the time, it all adds up to new skills and abilities in the long run. Kind of like a video game! You're grinding for XP right now!

I've got quite a paranoid personality myself, which kind of seems pretty creepy on a girl. I totally get you with the banter thing too. I like jokes and playfulness, but once it's at someones expense, you don't know what insecurities you might hit. That's why I never take to that sort of thing. Sometimes you do have to put on a brave face, for the sake of friendship, but true friends will respect you if you say that they've hit your boundaries.

I know everyone says it, but things will get better. You'll bag a job soon enough, especially with that degree. I know it sounds a bit like the plot of a movie, but would you ever consider looking for a job out of your city? It's easy to feel trapped and hopeless after being in the same place for a long time, perhaps a new adventure towards the perfect job might give you a new sense of freedom, self-respect and new friendships.

I had a bad day a while back, and I sat at the train station on my own, crying. Within minutes, a kind girl came and asked me what was wrong, and we ended up exchanging numbers and hanging out a lot at my University. Since then, I've had the courage to strike up conversations with people on their own, and you'd be surprised how many of them said they were feeling lonely too. A lot of my friendships were formed with me giving them IT help on campus, or just randomly striking up a conversation with them in public. The worst that can happen is they say nothing, and you never see them again. Nothing lost.

And it goes without saying that with a new job comes new friendships and maybe even relationships. And with new friendships could come new job opportunities. so it's only a matter of time until you get all your good luck at once.

Give yourself some love and credit, you sound like you're staying strong through these times, and I hope I could be some help to you. :smile: