Leaving college?

I'm 16, I've been in college since September and its mid Jan as of current. So i suppose I’ll explain my question. I have been depressed (clinically) for probably about 2 years now. College was supposed to be an eye opener for me to see what the world is really like I was excited because I had no friends in-fact I was ridiculously excited to be a part of something and to do art and design which previously I enjoyed. I still have no friends; I haven’t even spoken to anyone yet. I don’t want to just get up and leave because I have no friends but the course itself is so much work for me. If I’m not at college I don’t take care of myself I don’t even get dressed or eat I pretty much lie in bed all day on my phone/PlayStation. At the end of school I had an issue with my friends where I asked for more support and mentioned that I felt rather suicidal (I was on Citalopram/Fluoxetine at the time I don’t remember which one I took both at relatively close times) and the pills were really destroying my mental health around GCSE time so my friends decided to all block me (without stating why) and my mother received a phone call from the main girl’s mother stating I was a lunatic, I should be put away and I was too much stress for her daughter, and the other friends followed. So I left school for ‘study leave’ although we weren’t supposed to do that anymore, but I had literally nobody after that and I couldn’t bear to face my own life. Since then I have NEVER opened up to people, I haven’t even spoke to someone since. I have almost no self-confidence and walk with my head down because I think I’m disgusting , I can’t make eye contact with anyone and I am unbelievably sick of hearing ‘just smile and think positive’ when I walk around thinking I’m the most disgusting and unlikeable human. I suppose this is just a pathetic ‘teenage rant’ though. I have eating issues too I used to not eat at college at all but now I walk to town and eat in a public bathroom stall, yes it’s disgusting but I’d rather do that than constantly be seen alone, or even just be seen in general. I don’t think I’m too underweight I’m about 98 lbs 5’2 which I don’t really think is too bad but I’m not sure. In a way college is the balance I need in my life, it’s the only time I leave my house and get up any time before 1pm but the actual work I hate I hate the constant pressure I feel to produce masterpieces when I feel people spend 5 mins on their work but as long as they do a lot of it they seem to pass anyway. Don’t believe I have any self-confidence within my own artwork and think that it’s deemed a ‘masterpiece’ because that is absolutely not the case when I say I hate literally everything I do it couldn’t be more accurate. I can’t take care of myself at all when I’m off college. I don’t do anything, I shower and brush my teeth but that’s literally it I don’t brush my hair or get dressed or do anything. And I’m so used to it now I don’t see how anyone lives differently to how I do I just perceive it as normal. The mental health system here is a joke and an ‘emergency appointment’ is 3 weeks. We have one clinic for over 100,000 citizens and just an appointment in general takes about a month to 4 months. I would love to do something about this or make an impact but I’m not sure how. People don’t realise how bad the system is till they go through it. The first time I was at said mental health clinic they wouldn’t even set me up with a psychologist only someone to talk about my weight, despite mentioning several times that I needed help with depression/anxiety. The doctors don’t do anything but throw you on meds (first appointment with a doctor) or refer you to a place that takes literally months to help you. I feel I’d love to leave college but that balance in my life would be broken, I know I’d have to do something else but social groups have already formed in classes and I can’t stand being ‘the new girl’ or anything like that. As of current I can literally go all day without talking to anyone. I feel sad and like a disappointment that I’m so weak and can’t handle the pressure that this course gives me, despite only being on the award. My parents ask me what I do on my phone/PlayStation all day and I just think literally anything that isn’t living my own life. I feel I don’t even care about getting better sometimes because I feel I don’t even care about myself anymore. I don’t care about the course or literally anything. I love my family to death and they are literally the only reason I am still here, despite feeling like a huge disappointment to them.