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Feeling low..

I've just turned 18, im a guy and I'm depressed as hell and I dont think i can get out of it

I've been feeling like this for months..i finally got a job (at a call centre, not brilliant) two months ago. I have a little bit of social anxiety. The work wasnt great. But i talked to more people, i got out of the house and i liked this girl there (i just followed her on insta hopefully she follows me back lol)

Then on friday, i got sacked for making mistakes on calls. I hated the work but it was something. I feel more depressed now and my su*cidal thoughts are getting worse. I cant cope with life anymore. Its overwhelming.

I've been through two heart surgeries and i dont drink/smoke/harm myself or take drugs nor will i ever. When im feeling low i think 'if i can get through heart surgery, i can get through this' but sometimes it doesnt work, at all.

I'm thinking of doing a computing course in September. I want to become an IT technician when im older and i have a future plan (kinda) but depression is killing me.

I exercise, hang about with my brother and talk to my family but thats it. I have no social life at all as i cant drink due to medication etc, i feel like such a failure. Sometimes i feel like overdosing or stupid things like that

Maybe if i got into a relationship or had a social life or someone to talk to outside my circle things may get better? I dont know.

Advice would be great

Reply 1

Fizzy98

I think this computing plan sounds fantastic!!
Listen, don’t be hard on yourself. I was sacked from my job for texting during my shift, everyone makes mistakes (mine arguably dumber than yours).
Think about what your body has done for you. It’s been through two heart surgeries and is still fighting! That’s incredible!
Honestly, 18 was tough for me too. Going from being in school or college into the big world was crazy. It still is crazy (I’m 19 now) but not as crazy.
Have you considered joining a club? Is this computing thing at a college? You’re bound to make new friends there!!
Also talking to your doctor if you haven’t already is central to feeling less alone in your depression. What you are going through is real and not your fault, a doctor will tell you that.
Do you live with family? Talk to them if you can.
And if you need help with suicidal thoughts, please please do not suffer in silence. Ring this number: tel:116 123. They will help you, they helped me and many others.
Know that you are not alone, you’re so young and you are still fighting through all that you’ve been through, there must be a reason for that.
And know that when you think you have no one and nobody cares about you, that there are people who don’t even know you who want you to be okay. (That’s me, if you were wondering.)
Chin up, keep going. We are still so young and what better time to make these mistakes than now?