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girlfriend doesn't get horny?! watch

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    #1

    Hi everyone,

    Myself and my girlfriend (both 24) have been together around 2 and a half years. At first sex was great, was always exciting and both agreed the best we had had.

    The sex topic has come up a few times, I must enforce that we are very happy together, we always laugh, joke and just have fun together, personality wise it's really great. However she recently told me she doesn't get horny, the only way she gets in the mood is from when I start trying it on with her and get her going that way.

    It's quite *****y for me as she never seems to initiate anything and rarely gives me much affection when we see each other.

    I don't like bringing it up with her as I'm the complete opposite and seem to always be horny. It makes her feel bad and very conscious. It's just hard for me when we've not seen each other in a week and she falls asleep at 9pm on a friday night and I'm itching.

    Any similar? :/ thoughts?
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    Are you not happy with initiating sex all the time? Some people just have a lower sex drive and maybe she's the type to wait for you to initiate things with her.
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    You should talk to ma mate Glassapple
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    My relationship was exactly the same, been together 3 years. She would never get horny, not even at the beginning. Some girls are just like that, you have to stimulate themselves to get them going which tbh isn't that hard to do so it's perfectly fine. But about her not initiating anything and not being affectionate, my girlfriend was like that too, but we talked about it and I told her that she needs to initiate things regardless of her being turned or not. We did argue at first but I think what changed it for her was when I made her realise that even if she initiates it, I would still take the lead 5 minutes later and she would become turned on too. So just suggest to you girl that she should initiate stuff to make you feel wanted etc.. and that if she just forces it herself for the first few minutes, she'll get it back and it'll end great.
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    Do some online research on sex. The David Shade website is an OK place to start. the gist of a lot of online advice is: make love like a lesbian. Not all the time, but a higher proportion of the time than most men.

    Start trying some of the things you read about.
    Adjust what you do according to what really presses your beloved's pleasure buttons.

    Also, are you in good physical shape? If not exercise your body a bit more and cut down a little bit on the calories.
    Do you still make the effort to dress up and groom yourself well - or have you gotten to the stage of taking her for granted?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by UWS)
    Are you not happy with initiating sex all the time? Some people just have a lower sex drive and maybe she's the type to wait for you to initiate things with her.
    I don't mind, however I get very self conscious sometimes and don't have enough confidence to do so as I have no idea where her heads at.

    (Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
    Do some online research on sex. The David Shade website is an OK place to start. the gist of a lot of online advice is: make love like a lesbian. Not all the time, but a higher proportion of the time than most men.

    Start trying some of the things you read about.
    Adjust what you do according to what really presses your beloved's pleasure buttons.

    Also, are you in good physical shape? If not exercise your body a bit more and cut down a little bit on the calories.
    Do you still make the effort to dress up and groom yourself well - or have you gotten to the stage of taking her for granted?
    I see, I'll definitely look into that, I'm not in amazing shape however I'm pretty active so it's not like I'm chubby. I'm always well presented pretty much. I wouldn't say I take her for granted at all. I'm always making that extra effort, showering before seeing her after work, doing my hair etc as I want her to want me more.
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    Could just be a phase, everyone goes through dry spells every now and again
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    "I see, I'll definitely look into that,"

    Cool. Let us know how you get on. Either in general terms or in detail. Whatever you feel comfortable telling us about.
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    I thought women only go off sex after marriage.
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    Get out now while you can.
    • #2
    #2

    I think it's actually quite common for girls to need stimulation to THEN feel horny, as opposed to the other way round.
    I'd consider myself to have a high sex drive but I don't think I feel horny the same way my partner does. Sometimes I do have to initiate, or go with it, and then I'll be in the mood. So I can see where she's coming from. I think it's just about making the effort though. It shouldn't have to be one person initiating all the time.
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    Lot's of things can negatively affect libido, for example:

    Hormonal birth control (A.K.A The Pill)
    Stress
    Depression
    Exhaustion/tiredness
    Excess body weight
    Poor diet
    Lack of physical activity

    Are all VERY common killers of libido.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi everyone,

    Myself and my girlfriend (both 24) have been together around 2 and a half years. At first sex was great, was always exciting and both agreed the best we had had.

    The sex topic has come up a few times, I must enforce that we are very happy together, we always laugh, joke and just have fun together, personality wise it's really great. However she recently told me she doesn't get horny, the only way she gets in the mood is from when I start trying it on with her and get her going that way.

    It's quite *****y for me as she never seems to initiate anything and rarely gives me much affection when we see each other.

    I don't like bringing it up with her as I'm the complete opposite and seem to always be horny. It makes her feel bad and very conscious. It's just hard for me when we've not seen each other in a week and she falls asleep at 9pm on a friday night and I'm itching.

    Any similar? :/ thoughts?
    well, i am a female and to be honest, i prefer it when someone approaches me. i am not one to always be horny, but when you start getting a little intimate such as, a longer kiss that planned, or even a slap on the a**, you have me triggered. you just got to find out how to flip her switch!
 
 
 
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