Brother asked for best friend's number; I refused to give it but now feeling bad

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Anonymous #1
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My brother recently met my best friend again after many years (she moved back to the UK after some time abroad and he is at university in another city). I had invited both to a party. I could tell at the party that my brother was attracted to her and kept talking to her. And she seemed very into him as well and they kept chatting.

Today, he phoned me and asked me for her number, but then asked if I mind. I told him I do mind, and it would be too weird for me for my best friend to date my brother, two people I am very close to. He went quiet for a while, and then said ok after I told him he should not have asked me if I was ok with it, if he wasn't ready to take no as an answer.

He then went quiet again and said alright in a very disappointed tone, and said he would talk to me later.

But now I am feeling guilty. Should I have let my brother ask her out and date her? I know that she is interested in him as well from the way they were with each other the other day.

Not sure what to do.
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hellohellothere
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could be guilt tripping u into giving the number. ask ur friend about it and what to do, and talk about how u would feel aswell.
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Anonymous #1
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Hi

Thank you for your reply.

No, I don't think he was guilt tripping me because he has always been very caring towards me, so I think that's why he asked me if I am ok with it.
I think he was genuinely disappointed, so I don't know what to do now. I will ask my friend, but I am very sure she'd be interested because I could see from their body language and the way they were talking that they were interested in each other.
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Superdrilles
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giving the number is a disaster waiting to happen...

if you do really consider her as a good friend and want to keep it that way then dont give him the number. Because when they do end up im a relationship and things get heated or they break up then you will be the awkward one in the middle.

Personally for me its a no no no.
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EmilyH1256
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Stick to your answer it’s not a good idea I’m pretty sure they will see each other again seeing as she’s ur bestfriend n he’s is ur brother so if they like each other that much let them deal with that there selfs but he should also keep ur feelings in mind that it would bother you..
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Anonymous #1
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I still haven't decided what to do.
My brother is a good guy and treated his ex gf very well, and I know that they both have similar interests and personalities. I can see it working out for them based on that, but don't want my relationships with them to change if things go wrong.
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Anonymous #1
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Today, I met my friend and she kept bringing him into the conversation multiple times and asked when he's visiting next!
I knew that she is also interested him, based on how they were with each other that day, but now it's even more obvious that she's interested in him.
Not sure what to do really.
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Anonymous #1
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I feel like I'm kind of "getting in the way" as they both like each other.
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trbltrbl
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They'll probably end up meeting again and exchange numbers then between themselves- so you dont have to feel like you got yourself involved if they break up or have an argument, dont stress about it
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by trbltrbl)
They'll probably end up meeting again and exchange numbers then between themselves- so you dont have to feel like you got yourself involved if they break up or have an argument, dont stress about it
My brother lives in another city and isn't here all that often these days, that's why he called to ask for her number. And of course, to ask me how I felt about it first.
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Anonymous #1
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Should I just tell them that if they get together, they should keep me of of any problems they have?
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furiousmushroom
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Should I just tell them that if they get together, they should keep me of of any problems they have?
I think this is a good response, honestly. I feel kinda bad for both of them, but I can also respect that this would be really awkward for you if they hit troubles. Tell them both it makes you uncomfortable, but you're willing to give your blessing as long as they promise not to put you in the middle, ever. Remind them that they should both take your feelings into consideration.

If your brother lives in a seperate city, hopefully it would be easy to keep them apart even if the worst happens.
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It's****ingWOODY
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Should I just tell them that if they get together, they should keep me of of any problems they have?
Not going to work. What if your friend cheated on your brother, for example? Do you honestly think you and your friend would maintain a good relationship after that?

Not saying sibling/friend relationships are always set to end in disaster, but if they do go sour then it often ruins your friendship, so you're right to be concerned.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by It's****ingWOODY)
Not going to work. What if your friend cheated on your brother, for example? Do you honestly think you and your friend would maintain a good relationship after that?

Not saying sibling/friend relationships are always set to end in disaster, but if they do go sour then it often ruins your friendship, so you're right to be concerned.
But knowing that they are interested in each other, is it right of me to refuse to pass on the details?
Besides, they'll both be upset with me over this, so I'm certainly not helping my relationship with either of them by trying to stop them.
Not sure what to do
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Anonymous #1
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Also, I'm wondering what would happen if my friend finds out he asked for her number and I refused? She'll be upset with me
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by furiousmushroom)
I think this is a good response, honestly. I feel kinda bad for both of them, but I can also respect that this would be really awkward for you if they hit troubles. Tell them both it makes you uncomfortable, but you're willing to give your blessing as long as they promise not to put you in the middle, ever. Remind them that they should both take your feelings into consideration.

If your brother lives in a seperate city, hopefully it would be easy to keep them apart even if the worst happens.
Would it be wrong to not tell my friend that he wants to get in touch, so that the issue just (hopefully) passes?
I know she really likes him too but this seems like the easiest option.
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Anonymous #2
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Just give him the no. already. Best case you may end up with little nephews and nieces.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Just give him the no. already. Best case you may end up with little nephews and nieces.

We are all really young. Makes it less likely to last long term.
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Adz2042
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just say 'after some thought, yeah, here you go, but don't say i gave it to you'.
hope it works out well for your brother & best friend.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Adz2042)
just say 'after some thought, yeah, here you go, but don't say i gave it to you'.
hope it works out well for your brother & best friend.
But I've not yet decided whether to give it to him or not because I don't feel comfortable about them dating.
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