Advice please brothers and sisters (muslim)

It's selfish to not want her to obtain her personal goals first. Why would you not want to support her in completing her degree and graduating from uni?

Anyway, didn't you know this already as you've posted it all before?

i can't believe people still believe in islam in 2024

I don’t think I’m being selfish here though like she’s approaching her 3rd year of university and the only thing that I want is some verbal reassurance from her parents my family especially my mother and father know about her we are just waiting on her telling her parents yet she hasn’t told them yet and at the same time I don’t think it’s selfish in at least knowing when a engagement/wedding will be taking place both my parents have given verbal consent and are aware of my desire to marry her hers have yet to… and I even gave flexible approaches in her remaining with her parents until her studies are complete whilst we are married before she can move in or deciding on the purchase of a house. I have supported her as I have waited 2 years patiently… and she’s nearing the end of completing her degree with a year left… she told me when she was 21 she’d tell her parents she turned 21 she hasn’t… she told me she has a way of telling her parents she hasn’t yet.

i can't believe people still believe in islam in 2024

I say allow her to complete her goals and take her time to get to your engagement/marriage (It's never good to rush into marriage unprepared). No it's not selfish to think about your goals. Why is It that she's very reluctant to talk to her parent's about marriage or to tell them about your plans to get engaged? I understand your discontent at having to wait for several years but like I said, it's best for yourself and your marriage to wait until you are both prepared, take your time. Achieve your goals in and focus on your lives in the meantime so you will be better prepared when married.

I don’t think I’m being selfish here though like she’s approaching her 3rd year of university and the only thing that I want is some verbal reassurance from her parents my family especially my mother and father know about her we are just waiting on her telling her parents yet she hasn’t told them yet and at the same time I don’t think it’s selfish in at least knowing when a engagement/wedding will be taking place both my parents have given verbal consent and are aware of my desire to marry her hers have yet to… and I even gave flexible approaches in her remaining with her parents until her studies are complete whilst we are married before she can move in or deciding on the purchase of a house. I have supported her as I have waited 2 years patiently… and she’s nearing the end of completing her degree with a year left… she told me when she was 21 she’d tell her parents she turned 21 she hasn’t… she told me she has a way of telling her parents she hasn’t yet.

What’s wrong with doing that

i can't believe people still believe in islam in 2024

A year or matter of months is not a long time to wait. Why has she not told her parents?

She’s tried telling her mother her mother refuses to listen and it won’t be until she’s completed her degree

why?

I’m unsure why…we were discussing this recently and she felt upset when a friend of hers and her mother had openly asked her friend about marriage any particular boy she had in mind and wished to marry and the willingness her friend mother showed towards getting her married whilst hers refuses to listen or open up to her and take initiative

thats so sad
im not an experienced person on marriage
islamicly i think you shouldnt open the marriage topic to her until she finished her degree (time flies when ur havin fun)
so like other have said focus on ur life like jons money even possible place/things u want to do before u marry to make life easier.
you should also wait until she has told her parents also if you want my advice in islam girls are usually a daddys girl so if she tells her father and he agrees are even thinks about u will likely get married as he has influence on wfe (after re reading ths it sound like wrong but dont mean it in bad way)
you hust support her but it not to closely as her family might not be happy know ing u tlkd bout things without them like when gettin married n stuff.
hope u find post helpful
and good luck brother
hope u get married soon

She’s tried telling her mother her mother refuses to listen and it won’t be until she’s completed her degree

Salaam,

Brothers and Sisters. I hope you are well and in thestrongest health and imaan. My question to you is wouldyou say that despite making it clear to the girl you wouldlike to marry, about marriage and that you are told itmaybe 2/3 years of wait to get married and in telling herparents. You’ve waited nearly 2 years and although shehas other goals such as wanting to complete her driving,complete her degree with only a year left beforegraduation all this that she’d hope to achieve this year andnext year before even talks of marriage then get underwaywhilst I maybe in acceptance and have the willingness towait for her is it harsh in seeking a little reassurance fromthe girl parents in-spite of my parents being aware of mydesire to marry the girl and that do you also think it is alittle selfish to think about personal goals rather thansomething we both want and that I have made clear to herto about just engagement before any talks of marriage getunderway which will most likely be after her university inthis current situation what would you do in my scenarioand within my shoes what is your opinion on this.

Jazakallah