Husband has never been physically intimate with me
I just want to understand why my husband has never tried to be physically intimate with me.
And what should I do about it. A brief history of events:
We have been married for two years now.
On our honeymoon night after we got to the hotel, we ate food at the hotel. He was on the phone to his brother ( who lives in a different country and didn’t get to attend our wedding but faced times the whole thing) whilst we were waiting for our food to arrive. When we finally got our food he proceeded to watch football throughout our meal. We then went upstairs only to sleep.
We have since been on many holidays where we have never been physically intimate.
Not have we been in our flat. Not even kissing me passionately.
I have had many conversations with him ever since we returned from our honeymoon.
6 months into our marriage, we had a falling out with his mum where we stopped speaking to her for a year and we argued about her constantly for that year. she is still a problem for us to this day. We don’t speak to her much anymore but as a whole our marriage has survived that event in our lives.
When I asked him, he said he was just being lazy.
Before our marriage we were always passionate with each other.
He knows this has been upsetting me, I told him I feel like I am begging him and I’m tired of feeling rejected.
Please help me understand this. Thank you
And what should I do about it. A brief history of events:
We have been married for two years now.
On our honeymoon night after we got to the hotel, we ate food at the hotel. He was on the phone to his brother ( who lives in a different country and didn’t get to attend our wedding but faced times the whole thing) whilst we were waiting for our food to arrive. When we finally got our food he proceeded to watch football throughout our meal. We then went upstairs only to sleep.
We have since been on many holidays where we have never been physically intimate.
Not have we been in our flat. Not even kissing me passionately.
I have had many conversations with him ever since we returned from our honeymoon.
6 months into our marriage, we had a falling out with his mum where we stopped speaking to her for a year and we argued about her constantly for that year. she is still a problem for us to this day. We don’t speak to her much anymore but as a whole our marriage has survived that event in our lives.
When I asked him, he said he was just being lazy.
Before our marriage we were always passionate with each other.
He knows this has been upsetting me, I told him I feel like I am begging him and I’m tired of feeling rejected.
Please help me understand this. Thank you
It sounds as if he could be gay and married you to hide it. As the marriage hasn't been consummated you have grounds for an annulment
Original post by Anonymous #1
I just want to understand why my husband has never tried to be physically intimate with me.
And what should I do about it. A brief history of events:
We have been married for two years now.
On our honeymoon night after we got to the hotel, we ate food at the hotel. He was on the phone to his brother ( who lives in a different country and didn’t get to attend our wedding but faced times the whole thing) whilst we were waiting for our food to arrive. When we finally got our food he proceeded to watch football throughout our meal. We then went upstairs only to sleep.
We have since been on many holidays where we have never been physically intimate.
Not have we been in our flat. Not even kissing me passionately.
I have had many conversations with him ever since we returned from our honeymoon.
6 months into our marriage, we had a falling out with his mum where we stopped speaking to her for a year and we argued about her constantly for that year. she is still a problem for us to this day. We don’t speak to her much anymore but as a whole our marriage has survived that event in our lives.
When I asked him, he said he was just being lazy.
Before our marriage we were always passionate with each other.
He knows this has been upsetting me, I told him I feel like I am begging him and I’m tired of feeling rejected.
Please help me understand this. Thank you
And what should I do about it. A brief history of events:
We have been married for two years now.
On our honeymoon night after we got to the hotel, we ate food at the hotel. He was on the phone to his brother ( who lives in a different country and didn’t get to attend our wedding but faced times the whole thing) whilst we were waiting for our food to arrive. When we finally got our food he proceeded to watch football throughout our meal. We then went upstairs only to sleep.
We have since been on many holidays where we have never been physically intimate.
Not have we been in our flat. Not even kissing me passionately.
I have had many conversations with him ever since we returned from our honeymoon.
6 months into our marriage, we had a falling out with his mum where we stopped speaking to her for a year and we argued about her constantly for that year. she is still a problem for us to this day. We don’t speak to her much anymore but as a whole our marriage has survived that event in our lives.
When I asked him, he said he was just being lazy.
Before our marriage we were always passionate with each other.
He knows this has been upsetting me, I told him I feel like I am begging him and I’m tired of feeling rejected.
Please help me understand this. Thank you
Oh honey
( this is really sad to read and I feel so bad for you, the only answer is divorce to be honest. I guess you could go couples therapy but it sounds like he would not do it. Now the fact that he used to be intimate before is definitely quite weird it could mean that there’s someone else or he has some issues. Either way if he had a genuine reason for not being intimate then he should definitely speak to you about it. You deserve so much better and even if you love him it sounded like he might love you but not actually be in love with you and that’s not fair. Divorce is he best option here because sometimes love just isn’t enough and intimacy is so important for you and the fact your not getting that, or any kind of explanation from him despite talking about it and explaining how you feel is honestly disrespectful.[start]Stay strong and just know that you deserve better and there will be someone out there who makes you feel like you’re the only person that will matters
)[/start]
Honestly, he's either now asexual or isn't that into you any more.
Either way, you need to have a serious talk that this is important to you and that you need to be working to resolve it if your happiness is important to him.
Either way, you need to have a serious talk that this is important to you and that you need to be working to resolve it if your happiness is important to him.
how long have you been together now in total? have you and him not had sex even once? when was the last time there was sex?
In terms of understanding it, there may be a number of issues: he could be gay or bisexual, may have little sex drive, or may not now be sexually attracted to you. I don't mean to be harsh in suggesting the last option as this is no reflection on you. Sexual attraction is a complex thing and it can easily change and fade, in my opinion.
You could try couple counselling? It's not something that's ever appealed to me as an option but I have friends who said it helped their relationships. If he won't agree to it and won't discuss it then I think you have to accept that this is very unlikely to change. Then it's a case of deciding if this is enough of an issue for you that you want to split.
You could try couple counselling? It's not something that's ever appealed to me as an option but I have friends who said it helped their relationships. If he won't agree to it and won't discuss it then I think you have to accept that this is very unlikely to change. Then it's a case of deciding if this is enough of an issue for you that you want to split.
(edited 3 months ago)
Original post by Anonymous #1
I just want to understand why my husband has never tried to be physically intimate with me.
And what should I do about it. A brief history of events:
We have been married for two years now.
On our honeymoon night after we got to the hotel, we ate food at the hotel. He was on the phone to his brother ( who lives in a different country and didn’t get to attend our wedding but faced times the whole thing) whilst we were waiting for our food to arrive. When we finally got our food he proceeded to watch football throughout our meal. We then went upstairs only to sleep.
We have since been on many holidays where we have never been physically intimate.
Not have we been in our flat. Not even kissing me passionately.
I have had many conversations with him ever since we returned from our honeymoon.
6 months into our marriage, we had a falling out with his mum where we stopped speaking to her for a year and we argued about her constantly for that year. she is still a problem for us to this day. We don’t speak to her much anymore but as a whole our marriage has survived that event in our lives.
When I asked him, he said he was just being lazy.
Before our marriage we were always passionate with each other.
He knows this has been upsetting me, I told him I feel like I am begging him and I’m tired of feeling rejected.
Please help me understand this. Thank you
And what should I do about it. A brief history of events:
We have been married for two years now.
On our honeymoon night after we got to the hotel, we ate food at the hotel. He was on the phone to his brother ( who lives in a different country and didn’t get to attend our wedding but faced times the whole thing) whilst we were waiting for our food to arrive. When we finally got our food he proceeded to watch football throughout our meal. We then went upstairs only to sleep.
We have since been on many holidays where we have never been physically intimate.
Not have we been in our flat. Not even kissing me passionately.
I have had many conversations with him ever since we returned from our honeymoon.
6 months into our marriage, we had a falling out with his mum where we stopped speaking to her for a year and we argued about her constantly for that year. she is still a problem for us to this day. We don’t speak to her much anymore but as a whole our marriage has survived that event in our lives.
When I asked him, he said he was just being lazy.
Before our marriage we were always passionate with each other.
He knows this has been upsetting me, I told him I feel like I am begging him and I’m tired of feeling rejected.
Please help me understand this. Thank you
The best advice I can give as a starter is: get some blood work done for testosterone levels. I'm willing to bet a pretty penny his test levels are low, meaning libido is low. Now it is very common during stressful events / life changing events (ie wedding) males test levels can drop.
If it is low, natural ways to increase it is: good diet, compound weight movements, good sleep, and get some Vit D3 and some zinc, magnesium supplements ( obviously check with doctor before taking any)
Alternatives are test injections etc
Only then you can decide whats best, I know many are saying gay/bisexual etc, but its best to go by process of elimination before jumping the gun.
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