There is a former coworker of mine who is autistic (Asperger). He was a lab technician at a place I worked as an optometrist. We spent a lot of time together at work and it was fine with me when he was flirting in a strange way. I made it clear that I'm in a relationship and we are just friends. We had a lot in common besides work, which made it fun working together. I knew I was his only female friend who was not a family friend and we spent some time outside of work as well (common interests). As the time past he was contacting me more and more and talk about personal things. I was going through some things myself so I didn't have enough powers for him. Usually I'm very nice and I try to find a way at least to support a person, give some random advice to work with or a point of view, but with him it was very difficult. I didn't know how to approach him in a way of not criticizing but really giving a useful advise. He asked me a few times to help him start a conversation with a girl, he even invted me to a bar to see how he does things and give comments, I went once just because I wanted a break of my own problems. He came to a conclusion it is a good idea because I agreed to that once, so he kept asking me to do that again.
When I left work we continue texting, he kept inviting me to places (festivals, bars, events, trips etc...), I was genuinely too busy most of the times but sometimes just told I have other things to do, I even missed one event I wanted to go to just because he asked if I'm going to that event...
Later I just started ignoring him... finally he stopped messaging me. I felt relief.
Now I feel I'm such a bad person. I want to apologize but I know he will understand it differently, I don't want any contact with him, not because he is not a nice guy, he is just annoying and drains too much energy from me. On the other hand I'm sorry for acting this way but I still can't see another way to make him stop being annoying... I feel bad for being an ugly person, but I also feel bad for feeling bad.
Some recent events just made me think about it all so many times.