So I'm 26 and my brother is 19.
We live together with my mother and my mother is worried about him because he's not doing anything with his life.
I had moved out for a time and moved back to find a chaotic household where my brother had a bunch of his friends over all night, playing loud music, shouting and snorting god knows what in the bathroom.
After staying patient for a few months, I had enough and told him I didn't want his friends over past 10pm, then the music down and no smoking weed in his room.
He agreed to it, a few days later he tried to trst the waters and smoked again which I reprimanded him in front of his friends. He told me later he understood why I did that.
Now he and mother go abroad together for 7 weeks. Upon return, my mother was complaining how he was so rude, unhelpful, and according to her was so upset at her at one points. He was hurling insults at her, saying she was always going to be poor, saying other obscene things. My mother grabbed a branch to defend herself since he apparently looked as if he was going to hit her. The situation dissolves but my mum kept saying she doesnt see him in the same way.
So last night, I came back home at midnight, and I smelt weed and smoke in the house. Now a few days prior, I smelt the same but nowhere near as strong and he said he'd smoked outside and come back in. This time I knew the difference. My mother was sleeping and she had work in the morning so I slept.
The next day, I wake up, I ask him did you smoke in your room last night. He gave home that same reason, I said I can tell the difference, that you are lying to me. He tried to dismiss me saying he didn't have time for this, I called him a pussy for not owning up to the truth and that agitated him and he got in my face, so I hit him twice and he stumbled back and fell on the ground. He seem surprised and wa saying are you really going to hit your own brother. I hit him twice more and told him about what I had heard about him and my mother and that I had enough of him not listening. I took it as a personal insult, the fact he was smoking in the room, as if he didn't care about us, or the agreement he made, as if he owns the house and can do as he pleases.
I also brought up the fact that i overheard him saying to his friend he thought my gf was ugly and that she was into him because he was a "rapper" when it only intrigued her because she does music production. She laughed and pitied my brother when I told her.
I just had enough of his ****, I had been staying patient for years and years, hoping that he would change, but there's been so many times my mum has tried to get him a job, a course, an apprenticeship, about 2 or 3 times she helped stop him from going to prison.
I feel a little guilty because he didn't really fight back and my my mum condemns me because she says I'm the older one, I should know better because he's younger but for how long is that excuse valid for? He's a grown man, and if he'd just kept his word and stopped smoking in the house, I'd let him to as he pleases but he can't even keep that compromise.
So he packed his little suitcase and went to stay over a friend's for a few days.
I sent him a message, saying I'm not proud of what I did, and that I no longer want to be involved in anything to do with him and my mum. I'm starting an apprenticeship November with plans to move out hopefully before the end of next year.. I can't take the stress they both give me.
Am I in the wrong?
What are your thoughts?