Making friends at university.

OP

Original post by Aidenscott19

then i’d constantly have to put up with your bs. No thank you..

Well it was nice of you to decline so cordially.

Reply 21

Will18711

6

Adults won’t come to you, just try make the effort with people around you, everyone is in the same boat. If confidence is a major issue try get a job as a waiter. Was terrifying just before I started but I’m so glad I did it. It really helped my progress to overcoming social anxiety

Reply 22

Khajiitgrace

11

People love to talk about themselves so just ask them about their lives, a lot of questions really. Also joining some societies is always good, it really helped my brother to adapt to uni life

Reply 23

OP

Original post by Khajiitgrace

People love to talk about themselves so just ask them about their lives, a lot of questions really. Also joining some societies is always good, it really helped my brother to adapt to uni life

Which societies did you join?

Reply 24

Notoriety

22

Original post by gjd800

Haha, how awful.

Aye, the overly sharp fingernails really emphasises the unpleasantness of that piece. Really the argument is "You don't know your dad ... so you let people with long fingernails finger you."

Reply 25

gjd800

Original post by Notoriety

Aye, the overly sharp fingernails really emphasises the unpleasantness of that piece. Really the argument is "You don't know your dad ... so you let people with long fingernails finger you."

Succinct and beautiful.

Reply 26

DrugsAndLove <3

11

Original post by Trust Orang

Not yet. Don't worry though, I said I'd keep you up to date. That is my promise to you.

Do you want to be my friend?

Just go the kitchen and show them your lolol randomness xdddddd and youll make friends :smile:

Reply 27

OP

Original post by DrugsAndLove <3

Just go the kitchen and show them your lolol randomness xdddddd and youll make friends :smile:

Does it have to be the kitchen? Is that where you've had the most success making friends?

Reply 28

gjd800

Kitchen is the hub, mate. Parties, digs, whatever - the kitchen is where the magic happens.

Reply 29

OP

Original post by gjd800

Kitchen is the hub, mate. Parties, digs, whatever - the kitchen is where the magic happens.

Huh, guess there is a reason. Thanks for the tip that actually turned out to be useful.

Reply 30

Siberiaan

21

just sorta happens lol

Reply 31

Khajiitgrace

11

Original post by Trust Orang

Which societies did you join?

It wasn’t me it was my brother but he joined this board game society and also he tried out a few things he had never done before like rugby and this sort of ‘save the planet’ society (can’t remember what is was actually called now)

Reply 32

username3824906

Original post by Trust Orang

How are you supposed to make friends? I would like some friends at university, but it seems like a lot of effort and the procedures involved are unclear.

What do people generally seek from friendly interactions? Is there a mutual goal that is shared during the interaction? If it is not fun, does this mean that the person in question is unsuitable to be a friend? What is a friend anyway?

Despite how this question sounds, I come across as being fairly normal and pleasant. My social skills are fine provided I am navigating a transactional conversation. Trying to socialise for its own sake is difficult, because I always feel like I should give the person my brain so what I want to contribute is shared in completeness. Has anyone else experienced this?

This is my general strategy for making friends -

Make a comment or ask a question about someone's experience of a shared situation > Say "That's interesting because..." and then offer my own experience > ask about the person I am subjecting to friendship > Offer the target of my friendship a complement or something.

Find something of interest and make it a target point, or if you are in the same class as somebody discuss said class with them. Of you both have something you enjoy, discuss it and if they have a club you could both go, tjis further strengthening your bond. As long as you come across as friendly and approachable and as long as you can make a fair amount of time for your social interactions, you should pick up friends daily easily as you sound like a very interesting person. Also, speak fairly informally ad people don't always appreciate it if you constantly speak formally, however of course it depends on what type of people you intend to make friends with. However, I'm certainly no expert as I am literally going into year 10 in September, thus obviously have no university experience whatsoever.
Out of curiosity, what are your studying/ going to study at university and what university are you going to?
Best wishes and good luck,
Purple monkeys x

Reply 33

e^iπ

19

Just don't bother applying some sort of algorithm to gain friends, that stuff about making "friends for life" is BS anyway if you have any real career ambitions

Reply 34

Izzywu

5

Most people go to university in a different city from where they grew up without knowing anyone. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Just remember that everyone is in the same boat. People sort out friends for all kinds of reasons but don’t bother over think it just go with the flow. If someone causes much unneeded stress its probably a good idea to cut them off.

Reply 35

chickennuggt

2

As discussed somewhere else in this thread, I would strongly suggest joining societies. Societies are often the easiest way to make friends as you are all gathered together because of one similar interest or purpose. This equips you with some conversation topics already and you will tend to find that people come out of their shells a bit more when talking about something they are passionate about . Societies also have regular socials organised and are a great way to get you out of your comfort zone socially.
Usually societies do small taster sessions during freshers week so a good idea would be to throw yourself into those sessions and just show enthusiasm.

Getting to know your course mates is also a good place to start as you will probably have quite a lot in common with these people. You will go through similar situations (exams and tasks) and might have similar career prospects. From what I can tell quite a few people found their course a bit daunting when they first went to university, and sometimes this is because they don't feel they have someone to talk to or help them with their course. At the end of the day, course mates are the people that you are almost guaranteed to come into contact with throughout your uni life so some solid friendships can be made there. You can usually find course groups and chats on Facebook so if you aren't already part of one of them I would suggest joining one.

The truth is that the most people you will meet and chat to in freshers you wont even see again for most of the year. However that doesn't mean its not important to make the effort and interact with others during freshers week as it is the time where you all want to get to know people. I found that it was easier to make friends with people when I was being myself and being genuinely interested in what the other person was saying, then it doesn't seem artificial. If you aren't interested in the conversation then odd are you probably arent interested in that person and the friendship won't last.
You will find people at university who just simply won't put the effort into friendships or you might come across some characters that you don't gel with, when this happens just move on somewhere else. There are so many people at university and you will find the people you want to be friends with, you just have to look around a bit first.

Reply 36

JokesOnYoo