The Student Room Group

scared i wont make friends

is anyone else scared about making friends at uni, I'm moving away for uni and I'm a very introverted person, i don't like going out and i like my alone time and can come across quite shy, I've always struggled as it is and I'm not sure if the big move is right for me, did anyone else have this issue before they moved and do u have friends now?
Reply 1
Hi my daughter is an introvert, she moved away from home and she did make friends in her accommodation and also in her classes at uni. She was just as nervous as you are now. But you will make friends, try not to worry too much. Remember it's a new experience for most students at uni and you all are going to learn to adapt gradually. Just take it one day at a time and enjoy this new chapter in your life :smile:
Original post by animalcrossing77
is anyone else scared about making friends at uni, I'm moving away for uni and I'm a very introverted person, i don't like going out and i like my alone time and can come across quite shy, I've always struggled as it is and I'm not sure if the big move is right for me, did anyone else have this issue before they moved and do u have friends now?

Hi @animalcrossing77,

Its totally understandable to have this worry when going to university especially because your moving to a new place. I felt the exact same and so many other people will feel the same as you when starting. From my experience at uni this is some pieces of advice I can suggest:

1) Accommodation: you'll be living in accommodation as your moving to university and this is such a good place to make friends. I know it can be difficult but when you first move in try and put yourself out there and talk to your flatmates and people in the flats around you. I was very nervous at doing this when I first started too but I'm so glad I did as this is where I made some of my closest friends. I also suggest keeping the door open to your room for the first few days if you're sitting in there, this was a great way I found to talk to the people in my flat as they are walking past. I also suggest hanging around in the social areas of your flat/building in the first few weeks, this can seem scary but a great way to socialise and meet new people. But don't worry if you don't get along with your flat I know it could feel like its the end of the world but I can assure you it isn't, there are so many more people within the university you can make friends with.

2) Societies/course: this is a great place to find friends which have the same interests as you. I suggest trying lots of different societies to see what you enjoy and to meet as many people as possible. As for your course you will be spending a lot of time with these people throughout your time at university, I suggest on your first day go sit next to someone as this is an easy way to break the ice.

3) Join group chats: Before I went to uni I got added to group chats which I found on Facebook where lots of new students starting at the same time as you can make friends and speak before you start. This is a great way to make some friends before you move in so when you arrive at university you don't feel so overwhelmed as you have made friends with people before you have started.

Just remember you are not the only one who is going to feel like this when first starting as everyone is in the same boat.

Hope this helps 🙂
Louise - The university of Wolverhampton rep.
Original post by animalcrossing77
is anyone else scared about making friends at uni, I'm moving away for uni and I'm a very introverted person, i don't like going out and i like my alone time and can come across quite shy, I've always struggled as it is and I'm not sure if the big move is right for me, did anyone else have this issue before they moved and do u have friends now?

Hi there

It is great here that you are stepping out of your comfort zone.

I am definitely more on the introverted side, however, I have been able to make some really good friends in University. I understand that it can be quite scary, but it is a really good opportunity for you to grow as a person. :smile: I have gained a lot of confidence in the past few years at experience and learnt a lot of things.
I mostly made friends through attending society events and by speaking to classmates in similar lectures and seminars. It is possible to make friends anywhere at University (through part time work, volunteering, or even flatmates).

I hope this helps.
Chloe
University of Kent Student Rep
Original post by animalcrossing77
is anyone else scared about making friends at uni, I'm moving away for uni and I'm a very introverted person, i don't like going out and i like my alone time and can come across quite shy, I've always struggled as it is and I'm not sure if the big move is right for me, did anyone else have this issue before they moved and do u have friends now?

Hi there,

Moving away from home and making friends at university can be daunting, but just know that it is very common to feel this way.

I would say I am quite an introverted person myself, and I was really nervous to move out for university, but it can definitely be a wonderful experience. I wouldn't believe you if you told me three years ago where I am now, what I have achieved so far, and what amazing friends I have!

Going out all the time isn't necessary if you don't enjoy it (I don't myself, but I have found other things I love doing) - so what do you like? Are there sports and societies, volunteering opportunities, or any part-time jobs you'd like to get involved in? What kind of activities can you do around the town/city or in your own accommodation?

You can make friends just about anywhere in university, so I wouldn't put too much pressure on yourself. Enjoy your studies, find out what you like doing, get settled, and make sure you try to put yourself out there as much or as little as you are comfortable with. It can be scary, but as long as you are trying, you'll be bound to meet some new people and possible friends.

It is also important to remember that the 'big move' is not a permanent one. You can always change your mind. You might try it and really like it, or not - and that is okay!

I hope this helps and best of luck,

Isabella
Third-year Geography with a Year Abroad Student
Original post by animalcrossing77
is anyone else scared about making friends at uni, I'm moving away for uni and I'm a very introverted person, i don't like going out and i like my alone time and can come across quite shy, I've always struggled as it is and I'm not sure if the big move is right for me, did anyone else have this issue before they moved and do u have friends now?

Hi!
I am the exact same, introverted and don't love going out and love my time to myself. I felt the same too going into university freshers week but I have made the most lovely friends. Trust me you will find people who feel the same and want the same balance from their uni life.
I hope this is encouraging!
Faye :smile:
Original post by animalcrossing77
is anyone else scared about making friends at uni, I'm moving away for uni and I'm a very introverted person, i don't like going out and i like my alone time and can come across quite shy, I've always struggled as it is and I'm not sure if the big move is right for me, did anyone else have this issue before they moved and do u have friends now?

Hi @animalcrossing77 ,

I thought I'd also give some advice about the best ways that I made friends at uni to hopefully make you feel less nervous about it! It can feel daunting when you are introverted and moving to a new city is a big change for anyone so it is normal to feel a bit nervous about it!

Join group chats. Usually on Facebook before you move there will be group chats for the uni and also for accommodation where you can find people that you might be living with. I found some people that were in my flat in first year which was really nice as we could chat before we moved in and this made it a bit less scary on the first day! I also found people on my course which was nice too.

Go to welcome week events! Usually there are lots of events which you can get involved in in the first week, from freshers fairs to welcome tours. If you fancy any of these I would say to go along as it is a good way to get to know your flatmates or just to get a feel for the uni. If your course puts on any welcome events I would also go to these as it is a good chance to meet some people that are going to be on your course.


Join a society. Everybody says it but it is a really good way of making friends. There are usually loads of societies so you may be able to find one which you would enjoy, some meet up every week and some once a month but they are good ways of meeting people with similar interests to you!


Try and spend time with your flatmates in the first few weeks. As daunting as it can be, spending time with them or in the kitchen in the first few weeks will make you feel more comfortable. If you get into a routine of spending lots of time in your room it can make it harder to want to join in or be in the kitchen so try and do it a lot at first.


I hope some of this helps and I hope you enjoy uni!

Lucy - SHU student ambassador
Original post by animalcrossing77
is anyone else scared about making friends at uni, I'm moving away for uni and I'm a very introverted person, i don't like going out and i like my alone time and can come across quite shy, I've always struggled as it is and I'm not sure if the big move is right for me, did anyone else have this issue before they moved and do u have friends now?

Hi,

I completely understand this worry as I myself has the same fear before moving to University.

A few things that helped me make friends was spending time in my accommodation kitchen and getting to know my flatmates. By getting to know them, I made lifelong friends that I now consider to be my best friends. It's an easy way of making friends as you live with these people so will end up spending a lot of time with them while also having the option of having alone time in your room if the socialising becomes too much.

Another option would be getting to know people on your course by doing things such as asking people to join you for a coffee or lunch. This is a simple way of getting to know those on your course as they will understand the academic stress and worries you may have over the coming years.

I hope this is of some assistance and I wish you the best of luck with starting university. Moving away to university is scary but it has been one of the best things I've ever done so hopefully it'll be the same for you.

Mary
London South Bank University Student Rep - 3rd year children's nursing
Original post by animalcrossing77
is anyone else scared about making friends at uni, I'm moving away for uni and I'm a very introverted person, i don't like going out and i like my alone time and can come across quite shy, I've always struggled as it is and I'm not sure if the big move is right for me, did anyone else have this issue before they moved and do u have friends now?

Hey!!

When I started University, I was a naturally introverted individual and was terrified of not making friends at Uni due to my shy nature. Due to this, I found a TikTok where people were commenting their University and Courses and I was so nervous that I left a comment. To my surprise, I came across someone in the comment section who is now one of my best-friends. Its good to know that at the start, everyone is feeling nervous about forming friendships in a new environment.

What truly helped me was joining societies! You can find like-minded individuals and get to know each other and go to the same events etc which can help build friendships. For example, I joined my universities magazine society in my first-year and met an incredible girl who was truly my first friend and made my time at university lovely!

I would also highly recommend joining your universities Student Ambassador scheme if is being offered by your university. I joined my Ambassador team in my 2nd year. I am now in my 3rd and final year at City. The friendships that get formed in a work-place environment are incredible! If I knew that I'd meet so many people and make genuine friendships, I probably would've applied earlier.

Finally, in Lecture/ Seminar classes, when I needed help, I was absolutely terrified of asking the professor so I would ask my classmates. Through this, you can meet a range of individuals who you can message and talk to in regards to the course that you are doing, the shared stress of exams etc.

I hope this helps,
Iris - 3rd Year Politics Student at City, University of London.

Quick Reply

Latest