The Student Room Group

In Final Year and have no friends

First year at uni covid stuff was going and lectures were online so I chalked it up to that. I arrived to uni like a week late but it seemed like everyone in my dorm was already settled and in friendship groups.
Fortunately I was offered to move in with two girls from my 1st year and they were kind and welcoming like all the time but it did feel like I was third wheeling a lot of the time, like my presence was unnecessary and inviting me along was something they had to do not something they particularly wanted and I’m happy they have such a good friendship. I have no one , people in my lectures and seminars already have their own friendship groups and it’s so hard to make friends. People say uni is meant to be the best time of your life and you make lifelong friends. I am scared of making the first move but I too want find someone I click with, someone who I can hangout and make memories with. Is it too late to make friends, where do I start ,what do I do?
Any advice appreciated.
Original post by Anonymous
First year at uni covid stuff was going and lectures were online so I chalked it up to that. I arrived to uni like a week late but it seemed like everyone in my dorm was already settled and in friendship groups.
Fortunately I was offered to move in with two girls from my 1st year and they were kind and welcoming like all the time but it did feel like I was third wheeling a lot of the time, like my presence was unnecessary and inviting me along was something they had to do not something they particularly wanted and I’m happy they have such a good friendship. I have no one , people in my lectures and seminars already have their own friendship groups and it’s so hard to make friends. People say uni is meant to be the best time of your life and you make lifelong friends. I am scared of making the first move but I too want find someone I click with, someone who I can hangout and make memories with. Is it too late to make friends, where do I start ,what do I do?
Any advice appreciated.

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear this and understand how difficult it can be especially with having a first year in covid but it's never too late to make friends!

I was wondering if you have tried getting involved in any societies? These can be a huge step in finding people with similar interests that you can talk to and engage with or start a new interest within a society you wouldn't normally think of. Societies are there to help students connect with one another and what better way to do that than over similar interests, giving a conversation starter instantly among students.

Also your university's union may hold events that you can attend and meet students who are also looking to make friends.

Look out for student group chats and course group chats on social media like Facebook and look into interacting with those too.

Good luck! I'm sure you'll make some great friends.

All the best,
University of Wolverhampton
Katie
Original post by Anonymous
First year at uni covid stuff was going and lectures were online so I chalked it up to that. I arrived to uni like a week late but it seemed like everyone in my dorm was already settled and in friendship groups.
Fortunately I was offered to move in with two girls from my 1st year and they were kind and welcoming like all the time but it did feel like I was third wheeling a lot of the time, like my presence was unnecessary and inviting me along was something they had to do not something they particularly wanted and I’m happy they have such a good friendship. I have no one , people in my lectures and seminars already have their own friendship groups and it’s so hard to make friends. People say uni is meant to be the best time of your life and you make lifelong friends. I am scared of making the first move but I too want find someone I click with, someone who I can hangout and make memories with. Is it too late to make friends, where do I start ,what do I do?
Any advice appreciated.

Anon,

The two girls who have offered to be friends with you seem nice and kind : ) It sounds as if they have known each other for a long time but the fact they have invited you to share a house with them and invited you to different things shows that they are willing to extend the friendship. You might feel odd at first, but once you spend more time together, then hopefully that awkwardness will go. Who knows you might all get to know more people this year and you may invite them to something where you all hang out, and then that might lead to those new people inviting you to another event, and then you might arrange to do something else and then you might suddenly find that the friendship group has grown further. Who knows!

University tends to be a good place to make lifelong friends because you have so much time to spend with people. If you think about when you were at home, you may have spent that time with your family, but since you can't do that at uni, and most people want to spend time with others *– need to feel connected*– then you tend to spend more time with people and that gives you the chance to really get to know people, often better than friends you may have had previously.

It's not that post uni, you can't make lifelong friends, it just tends to be that people don't have as much free time. They are busy with work, they are beginning to settle down, marry, have kids etc so you just don't have the time to build those strong friendships, which is why people tend to fall back on university friendships where those bonds have already been made.

So maybe you will begin to form some strong friendships this year, maybe the people you know now (who you don't think of as lifelong friends) will be your good friends in three years' time. Lifelong friendships can form at anytime, but they do take time to form.

It's your final year, so you do have to balance going to university events, joining societies and in general being pro-active in seeking friendship with your studies, but it doesn't mean that you can't get to know new people. I think though it might be easier to try and build stronger links with the people you already know e.g. the people on your course and the people you live with.

Hope that helps,

Oluwatosin 3rd year student University of Huddersfield
Original post by Anonymous #1
First year at uni covid stuff was going and lectures were online so I chalked it up to that. I arrived to uni like a week late but it seemed like everyone in my dorm was already settled and in friendship groups.
Fortunately I was offered to move in with two girls from my 1st year and they were kind and welcoming like all the time but it did feel like I was third wheeling a lot of the time, like my presence was unnecessary and inviting me along was something they had to do not something they particularly wanted and I’m happy they have such a good friendship. I have no one , people in my lectures and seminars already have their own friendship groups and it’s so hard to make friends. People say uni is meant to be the best time of your life and you make lifelong friends. I am scared of making the first move but I too want find someone I click with, someone who I can hangout and make memories with. Is it too late to make friends, where do I start ,what do I do?
Any advice appreciated.

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling with making friends. It's incredibly common to feel alone throughout university but there are some steps you can take to try and make some new friends.

Would you consider joining societies? This may be a great opportunity to get to know people outside your course and with people who have similar interests to you.

Try saying 'hi' to people on your course and asking them if you can join them for coffee/lunch. This is a great way of getting to know your peers and hopefully making some new friends.

Try not to be too hard on yourself though and try to connect with as many people as you can as you never know where friendships will spark from.

All the best,

Mary
London South Bank University Student Rep (3rd-year Children's Nursing)
Original post by Anonymous #1
First year at uni covid stuff was going and lectures were online so I chalked it up to that. I arrived to uni like a week late but it seemed like everyone in my dorm was already settled and in friendship groups.
Fortunately I was offered to move in with two girls from my 1st year and they were kind and welcoming like all the time but it did feel like I was third wheeling a lot of the time, like my presence was unnecessary and inviting me along was something they had to do not something they particularly wanted and I’m happy they have such a good friendship. I have no one , people in my lectures and seminars already have their own friendship groups and it’s so hard to make friends. People say uni is meant to be the best time of your life and you make lifelong friends. I am scared of making the first move but I too want find someone I click with, someone who I can hangout and make memories with. Is it too late to make friends, where do I start ,what do I do?
Any advice appreciated.

Hi there
I understand that making friends in third year is difficult, especially when it seems like everyone has made friends already.

I think like you said, you could give it a go. It is never too late to meet new people and start making friends. As a third year student, I know many people who were equally affected by the pandemic in first year, and who have not made friends until second or third year. Do not be afraid to put yourself out there.

Have a look at any societies that interest you, any events hosted by your student Union, or trying to speak to students in the same class or lecture as you. If you every struggle with feeling lonely or upset, I would recommend speaking to your University's support and wellbeing services. I found that they were able to offer me advice and suggest services such as buddying schemes or group wellbeing events where I met some new people too.

I hope this helps. I know it is difficult to start off the first few conversations, but I am sure that putting yourself out there would pay off. :smile:

Good luck!
Chloe
University of Kent Student Rep
Original post by Anonymous #1
First year at uni covid stuff was going and lectures were online so I chalked it up to that. I arrived to uni like a week late but it seemed like everyone in my dorm was already settled and in friendship groups.
Fortunately I was offered to move in with two girls from my 1st year and they were kind and welcoming like all the time but it did feel like I was third wheeling a lot of the time, like my presence was unnecessary and inviting me along was something they had to do not something they particularly wanted and I’m happy they have such a good friendship. I have no one , people in my lectures and seminars already have their own friendship groups and it’s so hard to make friends. People say uni is meant to be the best time of your life and you make lifelong friends. I am scared of making the first move but I too want find someone I click with, someone who I can hangout and make memories with. Is it too late to make friends, where do I start ,what do I do?
Any advice appreciated.

Hello!

Firstly, how you are feeling right now is completely normal, It can be so hard to make the first step in talking to people, especially ones you don't know.. My advice is to join societies that you enjoy, either that be sports or in the arts.. others will have joined and that is because they also have the same interest as you, so maybe saying a quick hello could lead to a full blown discussion and boom, a friendship has blossomed.

Also note, sometimes not everyone is for you, so if you chat to someone and feel like the conversation isn't going right, that is okay. As long as you try an make the first move, someone will come along who'll be your friend. Making friends is exciting, make that first move. You've got this!

All the best,
Student Ambassador/Liverpool Hope University
Original post by Anonymous #1
First year at uni covid stuff was going and lectures were online so I chalked it up to that. I arrived to uni like a week late but it seemed like everyone in my dorm was already settled and in friendship groups.
Fortunately I was offered to move in with two girls from my 1st year and they were kind and welcoming like all the time but it did feel like I was third wheeling a lot of the time, like my presence was unnecessary and inviting me along was something they had to do not something they particularly wanted and I’m happy they have such a good friendship. I have no one , people in my lectures and seminars already have their own friendship groups and it’s so hard to make friends. People say uni is meant to be the best time of your life and you make lifelong friends. I am scared of making the first move but I too want find someone I click with, someone who I can hangout and make memories with. Is it too late to make friends, where do I start ,what do I do?
Any advice appreciated.

Hello!

Firstly, how you are feeling right now is completely normal, It can be so hard to make the first step in talking to people, especially ones you don't know.. My advice is to join societies that you enjoy, either that be sports or in the arts.. others will have joined and that is because they also have the same interest as you, so maybe saying a quick hello could lead to a full blown discussion and boom, a friendship has blossomed.

Also note, sometimes not everyone is for you, so if you chat to someone and feel like the conversation isn't going right, that is okay. As long as you try an make the first move, someone will come along who'll be your friend. Making friends is exciting, make that first move. You've got this!

All the best,
Student Ambassador/Liverpool Hope University
Original post by Anonymous #1
First year at uni covid stuff was going and lectures were online so I chalked it up to that. I arrived to uni like a week late but it seemed like everyone in my dorm was already settled and in friendship groups.
Fortunately I was offered to move in with two girls from my 1st year and they were kind and welcoming like all the time but it did feel like I was third wheeling a lot of the time, like my presence was unnecessary and inviting me along was something they had to do not something they particularly wanted and I’m happy they have such a good friendship. I have no one , people in my lectures and seminars already have their own friendship groups and it’s so hard to make friends. People say uni is meant to be the best time of your life and you make lifelong friends. I am scared of making the first move but I too want find someone I click with, someone who I can hangout and make memories with. Is it too late to make friends, where do I start ,what do I do?
Any advice appreciated.

Hi there,

It is definitely not too late! It is never too late! I would suggest joining some societies which you are interested in, that is the best way to meet people who enjoy similar things to you!

I hope this helps

Ellen
Y4 Medical Student
Uni of Sunderland

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