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My family hates me and it's making me miserable

[ ] I have had mental health issues for almost 3 years now (im 14 now) and It's been awful. They still don't know what it is because first they said it's Severe depression then they said it's psychosis and then a personality disorder and atm they're testing for autism. Anyway, during the second year I developed an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and self harm because I had no other ways too cope but from doing that as I didn't have any friends at the time as well and couldn't talk to my family or my mental health services because I didn't feel I could tell anyone or talk too anyone at all. My family knew about the self harm but not the alcohol and too cut a long story short a bottle fell out of my school bag one day and they phoned home. Short after that I started working with an alcohol worker and all that and during that time my relationship with my family dropped. They stopped spending so much time with me and I mostly spent my days after school and the weekend by myself in my room alone crying mostly. They always spent time with my brother and any moment they could they would make comments like "juvenile alcoholic" "I hate you" "fruit loop" "your really messed up in the head" and it really hurt me. After that I started having these uncontrollable angry outbursts where I would hurt them (not severely like a punch) or break items in the house and I would get so angry it would take days to cool down. It was weird because it was like id be depressed and then all of a sudden i could feel the anger coming on and I would not be able to stop it and it would take me days to calm down. The anger would get me arrested multiple times because the police would come to the house and try and restrain me to calm me down but it just made me highly anxious and petrified so I'd hit them to try and get them to let me go. Shortly after that I got arrested again but my parents didn't come too pick me up from custody because they couldnt handle me and I ended up in care for 2 months. It was awful and I got treated like rubbish there and they kept moving me from place to place because I was the same and the houses couldnt handle me. They then said everywhere was full exept for a place 6 hours away so I had to go and live back home. I got on with my parents for 2 weeks and then it started again but it wasn't me who was starting it. My mum would just randomly chip at me and say really unnecessary things. Like I was moving a dvd player up to my room because a friend was coming round (as I made a new group of friends) and she was like "your doing this on purpose to piss everyone off I'm trying to eat here and your picking up your dvd player" like wth and I told her too please leave me alone but she wouldnt leave it. And a different friend came round another day she asked what we both wanted for breakfast and we both said toast please just butter nothing else and my mum knows I hate jam she did my mates what we both wanted and loads of jam on mine brought it up and I said Im sorry but I can't eat it you know I dont like jam and she passed the plate to my mate and then shouted "I dont effing care too bad you get what your given" and threw my plate at the floor and slammed my door. I even asked what her problem was with me and she went, "You've ruined all of our lives, you've made everyone here very ill and your father almost lost his job because you stressed hin out all the time, your brother was petrified of you and had to put a lock on his door (which he wasn't he is 4 years older than me double the size of me, goes to the gym daily and I even heard him saying he put a lock on the door back when I had my drinking problem so I wouldn't steal his alcohol because he doesn't want them to go missing for when he drinks w/ his mates)" I haven't been arrested in months but instead I end up having mental breakdowns where I wont be able to stop crying and Ill just say to my mum and dad please I need to talk to u guys all I want is someone to get this weight off my shoulders and my mum will just go "stop your stressing me out, I'd rather you kick off than do this, shut up, I'm not listening just take ur medication" (I have a medication i can take that pretty much sedates me when I get highly agitated or anxious/upset but it will send me to sleep for at least 15 hours) and my dad will just say "im not listening go away" and walk off. Either a mental breakdown or either we will all be getting on ok and out of the blue one of the 3 will say something nasty to rlly upset and agitate me and ill say "thats very unnecessary I don't appreciate that" and they'll all go "subject closed now why you still going on about it, stop being argumentative" too p me off. It's my brothers birthday tomorrow and I spent 3 hours making a beautiful gift that i even showed my mum and it made her cry with happy tears. And then she has the flipping courage to go to me 3 hours later your acting like a tit again (i was just a little spaced out and sad) don't ruin his birthday tomorrow for the love of god like you ruin everything even though she and dad made me cry on my 13th. Even my brother was sat there and went your pissing me off. Part of me just wants to throw that present in the bin as they obviously don't deserve it but another part of me wants to prove that I'm a nice person and it will make them feel bad the way theve treated me. I feel so outnumbered as its 3 of them against me like my mum can say something horrible and unfair and they will just take her side and if I tell soneone deny the absolute truth. We are starting family therapy but god knows if that will work. And I feel they know I'm vulnerable and get easily upset and scared. What the hell do I do?

Reply 1

Gent2324

Careers Forum Helper

You have really *****y parents, I suggest contacting social services tbh. They clearly don't want to support you and have a grudge against you, remember that the way you grow up will impact your life forever. Try and get into a foster home else you risk your mental issues become increasingly worse. Mean parents are the last thing someone with mental issues needs