Original post by Jedimonkey
Long story short, I'm going to a uni that is 20 - 30 mins from where I live by bus. There have been a few things going on that have made me want to move out. I've applied for accomadtion and everythings been approved...blah...blah.
But now I'm having second thoughts and thinking maybe I shouldn't move out. Tomorrow is the last day I can cancel everything if I do. Even if I do move out, it would only be for the first year. The only reasons I want to move out are because:
1) I'm tired of all the **** that has been happening at home (parents attitude, arguing, negative atmosphere, etc).
2) My mental health - I suffer from OCD and anxiety and the last few months for me have been really tough. (This doesn't help combined with the first issue). I thought moving out would help me because everything would be my way and that would make it cool and stress free. However I read somewhere that if you have such conditions, you shouldn't find a relief for it because it's temporary and when you do face the problem again, it will make it worse. Apparently it's better to face the problem and deal with it. In my case I don't want anything to get worse when I move back home next year.
3) It would be cool to live by myself. I like the idea of living by myself. I really like it but I know I'll miss things after a while.
If it wasn't for these things (mainly the first 2, I wouldn't move out).
I mean things have slightly improved quite recently at home. The same can be said for my mental health but it's no where near better where I want it to be. I don't know whether if it's temporary or it is genuinely is getting better. Would commuting from home and getting into a routine help?
On top of that I'd have extra expenses just for moving out for the year like buying pots and pans (I'm vegetarian), etc.
Is it really worth it?
But now I'm having second thoughts and thinking maybe I shouldn't move out. Tomorrow is the last day I can cancel everything if I do. Even if I do move out, it would only be for the first year. The only reasons I want to move out are because:
1) I'm tired of all the **** that has been happening at home (parents attitude, arguing, negative atmosphere, etc).
2) My mental health - I suffer from OCD and anxiety and the last few months for me have been really tough. (This doesn't help combined with the first issue). I thought moving out would help me because everything would be my way and that would make it cool and stress free. However I read somewhere that if you have such conditions, you shouldn't find a relief for it because it's temporary and when you do face the problem again, it will make it worse. Apparently it's better to face the problem and deal with it. In my case I don't want anything to get worse when I move back home next year.
3) It would be cool to live by myself. I like the idea of living by myself. I really like it but I know I'll miss things after a while.
If it wasn't for these things (mainly the first 2, I wouldn't move out).
I mean things have slightly improved quite recently at home. The same can be said for my mental health but it's no where near better where I want it to be. I don't know whether if it's temporary or it is genuinely is getting better. Would commuting from home and getting into a routine help?
On top of that I'd have extra expenses just for moving out for the year like buying pots and pans (I'm vegetarian), etc.
Is it really worth it?
Honestly, if you have OCD youre going to Really struggle if you move out. You have to share with people who will Not be as clean as you, and could very likely be extremely messy. Plus as you say, much more expensive if you move out too. 20/30 mins is nothing travelling wise so I wouldnt use that as a deciding factor whether to stay or go
Original post by Breeee
Honestly, if you have OCD youre going to Really struggle if you move out. You have to share with people who will Not be as clean as you, and could very likely be extremely messy. Plus as you say, much more expensive if you move out too. 20/30 mins is nothing travelling wise so I wouldnt use that as a deciding factor whether to stay or go
That's a point I didn't think about. I always felt it was bad at home with my dad and sister's level of hygine but when you compare it to random strangers who could possibly be messier...
My biggest concern is if my anxiety or OCD will calm down if I commute from home or not. Same probably goes the other way, I don't want it to go worse unexpectedly if I move out.
I personally thought it would help if I move out because when I am out of the house (say with my friends, or someone else's house or even at the cinema or shopping centre) it's calm and I don't experience it unless external factors trigger it,
Original post by Jedimonkey
That's a point I didn't think about. I always felt it was bad at home with my dad and sister's level of hygine but when you compare it to random strangers who could possibly be messier...
My biggest concern is if my anxiety or OCD will calm down if I commute from home or not. Same probably goes the other way, I don't want it to go worse unexpectedly if I move out.
I personally thought it would help if I move out because when I am out of the house (say with my friends, or someone else's house or even at the cinema or shopping centre) it's calm and I don't experience it unless external factors trigger it,
My biggest concern is if my anxiety or OCD will calm down if I commute from home or not. Same probably goes the other way, I don't want it to go worse unexpectedly if I move out.
I personally thought it would help if I move out because when I am out of the house (say with my friends, or someone else's house or even at the cinema or shopping centre) it's calm and I don't experience it unless external factors trigger it,
Ive been to a Lot of students halls and trust me, most are reallyyy messy. Id place a bet to say whoever you live with will be worse than your family, and thatll stress you out and possibly make you feel worse mentally.
Noone can tell you if your anxiety and OCD will get better/worse if you stay at home or move out. The only thing I can say is what I already have about OCD and sharing with strangers.
Thats true, possibly it would, but youre not living with friends are you, youre living with strangers. Most (but not all) people I know did not make friends with the people in their same flat, they made friends with people from other flats, courses and clubs and societies mainly. Thats not to say you wont, but I wouldnt count on it. Especially if they are messy and youre not happy about that because of your OCD, they wont likely get it, and it could cause problems between you. That being said, noone can know for sure. Maybe youll be put with people who have OCD too (but highly unlikely)
Original post by Breeee
Ive been to a Lot of students halls and trust me, most are reallyyy messy. Id place a bet to say whoever you live with will be worse than your family, and thatll stress you out and possibly make you feel worse mentally.
Noone can tell you if your anxiety and OCD will get better/worse if you stay at home or move out. The only thing I can say is what I already have about OCD and sharing with strangers.
Thats true, possibly it would, but youre not living with friends are you, youre living with strangers. Most (but not all) people I know did not make friends with the people in their same flat, they made friends with people from other flats, courses and clubs and societies mainly. Thats not to say you wont, but I wouldnt count on it. Especially if they are messy and youre not happy about that because of your OCD, they wont likely get it, and it could cause problems between you. That being said, noone can know for sure. Maybe youll be put with people who have OCD too (but highly unlikely)
Noone can tell you if your anxiety and OCD will get better/worse if you stay at home or move out. The only thing I can say is what I already have about OCD and sharing with strangers.
Thats true, possibly it would, but youre not living with friends are you, youre living with strangers. Most (but not all) people I know did not make friends with the people in their same flat, they made friends with people from other flats, courses and clubs and societies mainly. Thats not to say you wont, but I wouldnt count on it. Especially if they are messy and youre not happy about that because of your OCD, they wont likely get it, and it could cause problems between you. That being said, noone can know for sure. Maybe youll be put with people who have OCD too (but highly unlikely)
I think you may have convinced me to commute from home. Especially because I didn't think about living with people who are most likely going to be messier. Now that I thunk of it, there are things that some of my own friends have done thay have triggered me.
I certainly know I'm not looking for that student life. I feel I'm already capable of being independant enough that moving into halls won't make a difference. I've paid for my own seasonal train ticket to college for the last 2 years. I buy my own clothes, toiletries, games, books, etc. I also bought my own suit for my aunty's wedding which wasn't cheap. I don't think moving out will make a difference in that front. I've also stayed alone with my sister for a week when my parents went on holiday. We had absolutely no trouble. It was the best week ever because no one was telling us what to do and when. I guess that's the only thing I'll be missing of I moved out
Original post by Jedimonkey
I think you may have convinced me to commute from home. Especially because I didn't think about living with people who are most likely going to be messier. Now that I thunk of it, there are things that some of my own friends have done thay have triggered me.
I certainly know I'm not looking for that student life. I feel I'm already capable of being independant enough that moving into halls won't make a difference. I've paid for my own seasonal train ticket to college for the last 2 years. I buy my own clothes, toiletries, games, books, etc. I also bought my own suit for my aunty's wedding which wasn't cheap. I don't think moving out will make a difference in that front. I've also stayed alone with my sister for a week when my parents went on holiday. We had absolutely no trouble. It was the best week ever because no one was telling us what to do and when. I guess that's the only thing I'll be missing of I moved out
I certainly know I'm not looking for that student life. I feel I'm already capable of being independant enough that moving into halls won't make a difference. I've paid for my own seasonal train ticket to college for the last 2 years. I buy my own clothes, toiletries, games, books, etc. I also bought my own suit for my aunty's wedding which wasn't cheap. I don't think moving out will make a difference in that front. I've also stayed alone with my sister for a week when my parents went on holiday. We had absolutely no trouble. It was the best week ever because no one was telling us what to do and when. I guess that's the only thing I'll be missing of I moved out
There are pros and cons to both, which is better for you can only be decided by you. I hope Ive helped though. If you need a hand with anything else, just let me know
Original post by Breeee
There are pros and cons to both, which is better for you can only be decided by you. I hope Ive helped though. If you need a hand with anything else, just let me know
Thank you so much. It definitly has helped.
Is there a way to add/follow other users on here. I'm still getting used to TSR
Original post by Jedimonkey
Thank you so much. It definitly has helped.
Is there a way to add/follow other users on here. I'm still getting used to TSR
Is there a way to add/follow other users on here. I'm still getting used to TSR
Youre welcome.
Yes, if you click on a users name, theres a button that says "follow user"
Hey!
I do agree with Breeee here - its your choice but it might be more useful to commute from home if you are worried about certain factors getting in the way of the transition to university being smooth for first year, however I'd really recommend keeping your options open for living away from home in second year, when you've found some good, reliable friends to share a house/flat with.
I do agree with Breeee here - its your choice but it might be more useful to commute from home if you are worried about certain factors getting in the way of the transition to university being smooth for first year, however I'd really recommend keeping your options open for living away from home in second year, when you've found some good, reliable friends to share a house/flat with.
It's up to you. i would always advice people to move out for uni for the full experience. otherwise its just like going to college. A lot of people who stay at home don't get as close with friends at uni. You'll have to try twice as hard as students living on campus in terms of social life be warned.
Also if you're home life isn't great why stay? You are an adult perhaps its time to be more independent? You may realise you love living away from home! more freedom ect. And if you do hate it then you can always move back for 2nd & 3rd year.
in terms of money, if you can't afford it a maintainece loan is up to £8,000
The OCD things is an issue though, don't know much about it. Can you take meds/therapy for it, maybe discuss with your university for support? either way you won't be the first student with OCD to move out for uni i'm sure.
Good luck
Also if you're home life isn't great why stay? You are an adult perhaps its time to be more independent? You may realise you love living away from home! more freedom ect. And if you do hate it then you can always move back for 2nd & 3rd year.
in terms of money, if you can't afford it a maintainece loan is up to £8,000
The OCD things is an issue though, don't know much about it. Can you take meds/therapy for it, maybe discuss with your university for support? either way you won't be the first student with OCD to move out for uni i'm sure.
Good luck
Original post by Breeee
Youre welcome.
Yes, if you click on a users name, theres a button that says "follow user"
Yes, if you click on a users name, theres a button that says "follow user"
Thanks. I just followed you
Original post by Simbess
Hey!
I do agree with Breeee here - its your choice but it might be more useful to commute from home if you are worried about certain factors getting in the way of the transition to university being smooth for first year, however I'd really recommend keeping your options open for living away from home in second year, when you've found some good, reliable friends to share a house/flat with.
I do agree with Breeee here - its your choice but it might be more useful to commute from home if you are worried about certain factors getting in the way of the transition to university being smooth for first year, however I'd really recommend keeping your options open for living away from home in second year, when you've found some good, reliable friends to share a house/flat with.
Thats a good idea. My biggest worry was my OCD and anxiety. I feel perfectly fine when I'm out the house and away from my parents and that's why I thought moving out might be a good idea. Everything is getting slightly better but no where near 100%. I hope it genuinely does get better and it's not a temporary thing. But yeah...you've probably seen the thread above and know why I probably want to change.
Original post by Jedimonkey
Thanks. I just followed you
Awh bless you, im glad i could help
If you need a hand with anything else just let me know
Original post by Cubcub99
It's up to you. i would always advice people to move out for uni for the full experience. otherwise its just like going to college. A lot of people who stay at home don't get as close with friends at uni. You'll have to try twice as hard as students living on campus in terms of social life be warned.
Also if you're home life isn't great why stay? You are an adult perhaps its time to be more independent? You may realise you love living away from home! more freedom ect. And if you do hate it then you can always move back for 2nd & 3rd year.
in terms of money, if you can't afford it a maintainece loan is up to £8,000
The OCD things is an issue though, don't know much about it. Can you take meds/therapy for it, maybe discuss with your university for support? either way you won't be the first student with OCD to move out for uni i'm sure.
Good luck
Also if you're home life isn't great why stay? You are an adult perhaps its time to be more independent? You may realise you love living away from home! more freedom ect. And if you do hate it then you can always move back for 2nd & 3rd year.
in terms of money, if you can't afford it a maintainece loan is up to £8,000
The OCD things is an issue though, don't know much about it. Can you take meds/therapy for it, maybe discuss with your university for support? either way you won't be the first student with OCD to move out for uni i'm sure.
Good luck
I really enjoyed college. I wish I was there for another year or so. But I've heard Uni is even better. would it make much difference for me considoring I only live 20-30 mins away from the uni by bus?
Normally life at home isn't too bad but the last few months have been horrible. It's only now it's starting to get better. It's not 100% perfect yet. It would be nice if it got 100% better as I start Uni or something. I don't want to move out and find everything goes back to normal and vice verse (don't wanna stay at home and everything stays the same).
As for the OCD & Anxiety, there are meds people can take but I don't take them. I'm currently on a waiting list for CBT therapy but they said I'm likely to get a spot once I've already started Uni
So for a while I've thought about moving out for uni. The uni I'm going to is 20 - 30 mins from where I live by bus. The 2 main reasons I've wanted to move out are because:
1) I suffer from OCD and anxiety and it hasn't been too great these last few months. I felt moving out will do me good because when I'm on my own I feel fine.
2) Wanting space away from parents. This particular reason isn't that strong for me to move out but the reason I mention it is because for a few months, the atmosphere at home hasn't been great. Things feeling negative, parents shouting, everyone argueing, etc.
Now things have gotten slightly better but nowhere near perfect to the level I would want. If it wasn't for these 2 reasons, I would commute from home.
Now before I accepted my agreement for my accomodation, I thought/felt moving out was the right choice. I saw the negatives of being at home and positives of moving out. Now that I've accepted the agreement and everythung is set in stone, I feel scared and ridiculuosly stupied for deciding to move out because it's so close to home and I feel I may have made the decision with clouded judgement especially because things could've been getting better (dunno if it was a temp or genuine thing). Now I see the positives of being at home and negatives of moving out. I can tell I'm gonna miss everything at home even though I'm inly moving out for my first year. There's no way I'm moving out for 2nd and 3rd year.
If I did decide to cancel everything, I wouldn't get my booking fee back which is £350 (which is a lot of money especially because my dad paid for it)
What would people advice or say?
1) I suffer from OCD and anxiety and it hasn't been too great these last few months. I felt moving out will do me good because when I'm on my own I feel fine.
2) Wanting space away from parents. This particular reason isn't that strong for me to move out but the reason I mention it is because for a few months, the atmosphere at home hasn't been great. Things feeling negative, parents shouting, everyone argueing, etc.
Now things have gotten slightly better but nowhere near perfect to the level I would want. If it wasn't for these 2 reasons, I would commute from home.
Now before I accepted my agreement for my accomodation, I thought/felt moving out was the right choice. I saw the negatives of being at home and positives of moving out. Now that I've accepted the agreement and everythung is set in stone, I feel scared and ridiculuosly stupied for deciding to move out because it's so close to home and I feel I may have made the decision with clouded judgement especially because things could've been getting better (dunno if it was a temp or genuine thing). Now I see the positives of being at home and negatives of moving out. I can tell I'm gonna miss everything at home even though I'm inly moving out for my first year. There's no way I'm moving out for 2nd and 3rd year.
If I did decide to cancel everything, I wouldn't get my booking fee back which is £350 (which is a lot of money especially because my dad paid for it)
What would people advice or say?
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by Sataris
Why are you definitely against moving out for second and third year?
How do your parents feel about you moving out, including the financial aspect?
Living so close to home, you can always take the bus back to visit any time you like if you miss anything there
How do your parents feel about you moving out, including the financial aspect?
Living so close to home, you can always take the bus back to visit any time you like if you miss anything there
Sorry for the late reply. The reason I'm not moving out for 2nd or 3rd year is because I'm so close to home and it's stupied to get into extra debt when I'm already close to home.
My dad desperately wants me to move out but my mum doesn't. They're 2 opposite ends of the scale.
In regards to my original post, I would change a few things especially the way I feel now. It's not actually the house or the atmosphere that makes my OCD/anxiety bad. IT'S MY PARENTS (Pretty sure it's my dad). The reason I say thia is hecause they just went on holiday for a few days and I was alone with my sister at home and everything was so great and fine. Now that they're back my anxiety has got worse again.
The only reason now I would want to move out is to get away from my Dad. I don't know if that's justifyable because maybe if I stayed at home I could get a car and just try to stay out of the house for long periods of time.
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