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My mum’s ill and i’m unsure about options

hi
i am currently an a level student on my second year but my mum has suffered a stroke and had a lot of brain damage but we’re unsure of the extent until she wakes if she does.

i was planning to go to university but because of this i will either have to stay and support my mum if she makes it and if she does not i’d like to stay and support my family through this.

i’m not sure about what my options are right now other than a gap year so i was wondering if someone who knows more about what i can do can talk me through my options now.

thanks

Reply 1

britishbutspicy

I'm sorry to hear about your mum. You mentioned you're unsure about how much brain damage she has until she wakes up? If she is completely unable to manage by herself , it might be worth looking into a gap year. However, it might be the case things turn out slightly better then you think and you could still go to uni, maybe one that would mean you could live at home and help look after your mum. If you end up being a young career, remember there are lots of services to help you , and hopefully your family can lend a helping hand (sorry I'm not to sure about any specifics you'll have to google them). But remember you are NEVER alone in this. Remember to also consider your own future. You're a young adult and (presumably) under 18. This is a heavy burden on someone so young, so don't feel bad for thinking about yourself.
Good luck with your situation. I hope your mum gets better.

Reply 2

LuigiMario

I'm typing this from inside the EU, where it is completely normal for students to attend simply the nearest possible university college to their home. (only a few percent travel within their country or (increasingly) take Erasmus+ internationally)

So might this be an option for you, do a degree at the nearest college, stay at home, save a bit of money, be available for your mum?

Don't worry that it would mean perhaps that you would graduate from the less famous places like Yeovil College University Centre, or University of Roehampton in Wandsworth, or Sheffield College, or University Centre Peterborough - if you wanted, later you could do a post-graduate degree at a more distinguished university, if you felt the need.

My mum herself was just about to attend university when her dad, my grandfather, was struck with MS, and my mum did stay at home, caring. She still, years later did her degree & PGCE and has now retired, three times I think, from teaching. She's still teaching from home.

Reply 3

Liverpool Hope University

Official Rep

Original post by amirahc

Hello,

I am really sorry to hear about this, I can't imagine how you and your family are feeling but hopefully I can give some useful advice for you so it might make it a bit easier for you to plan out options.

- If you are to take a gap year and think you may apply the following year you can always seek out some casual/part-time work experience in the area you are interested in.

- If you have made an application already and have received an offer you would like to accept you but wish to start the next year you can always defer your entry for the following year.

- Should you be looking after your mother and decide to apply for university you may be able to apply for an Adult Dependant Grant to help with costs that you are accruing alongside standard funding.

- You may be able to complete a university course part-time or via distance learning so that you would be able to balance caring for your mother with your studies. It might be worthwhile to speak to the university about the course you are looking to study and whether or not this would be a reasonable undertaking.

A few things to consider for when you do decide to go to university:

- Get your personal statement in early if you decide to go, typically all UCAS applications are completed by mid-January however plenty of applicants do apply after this date. To ensure you can apply for your chosen course at your preferred university apply before January.

- If applying for Student Finance you can apply for the funding and grants before you have decided where you want to study, you will need to list your preferred choice but this can be updated with another form (Change of circumstance form) once you receive your results. Applying early will mean it is approved on time and any amendments can be made quicker.

- Student support is available at university both in a pastoral sense and to help with studies. Make use of these if you have any concerns or issues when at university. You can meet with the team before applying to see what university offers you what you would need.

These aren't most in depth pieces of advice in the world but like I said above hopefully it will give you an idea of what to consider moving forward.

I wish you and all your family the best at this difficult time.

Patrick