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friend issues

So, for a couple of years some of my ex-friends have been bullying me (emotionally and cyber) . At the time they were also bullying a girl I'm still friends with now who was also in the friendship group(imma call her Becky). Becky told me about how she felt about them as I was starting to come away from them so Becky, me and another girl left the group and eventually found a new friendship group. Things were fine until Becky started talking to one of the girls who was one of the main ones bullying her and I again. I asked her why and she said she never actually bullied her just teased. She started hanging out with all of my ex-friends constantly and just kept claiming it was fine. But I knew things weren't fine becuase occasionally she'd come to me crying saying they was bullying her again but then go back the next day. This went on for a while and I stopped caring until Becky tried making me hang around with them again. She'd beg me to come and talk them almost daily and we kept falling out over it. Every time I asked her why she'd respond "they didn't actually bully you, I've been bullied in the past and they weren't bullying you." it really hurt me so we stopped talking for a few months. Eventually, we started talking again and she's still hanging with them. She stopped trying to get me to hang with them but after a few months started again. She'll try and make them sit near me or even try and get them to talk to me whilst we're mid conversation. I kept telling her to stop trying to get them to hang with me and if she wants to talk to me I don't want to be around them. Becky said she can't becuase she has attachment issues from her past. Whilst I do understand that she has had issues in the past, I l've had a hard time believing it becuase this has never happened with any other old friends and she constantly lies about the randomist of stuff. For example, she kept telling people she had an ankle issue (not true) but told everyone different ways of how she got this ankle issue, some were falling off a bike, being born with backwards ankles or it just happening overtime.

So basically, what I'm asking is, what should I do? Do I just leave her to be unhappy in the other group and ignore her trying to make me hang with them? Do I cut her off completely? And if I do try and get her out of the other group, how?
Original post by Anonymous
So, for a couple of years some of my ex-friends have been bullying me (emotionally and cyber) . At the time they were also bullying a girl I'm still friends with now who was also in the friendship group(imma call her Becky). Becky told me about how she felt about them as I was starting to come away from them so Becky, me and another girl left the group and eventually found a new friendship group. Things were fine until Becky started talking to one of the girls who was one of the main ones bullying her and I again. I asked her why and she said she never actually bullied her just teased. She started hanging out with all of my ex-friends constantly and just kept claiming it was fine. But I knew things weren't fine becuase occasionally she'd come to me crying saying they was bullying her again but then go back the next day. This went on for a while and I stopped caring until Becky tried making me hang around with them again. She'd beg me to come and talk them almost daily and we kept falling out over it. Every time I asked her why she'd respond "they didn't actually bully you, I've been bullied in the past and they weren't bullying you." it really hurt me so we stopped talking for a few months. Eventually, we started talking again and she's still hanging with them. She stopped trying to get me to hang with them but after a few months started again. She'll try and make them sit near me or even try and get them to talk to me whilst we're mid conversation. I kept telling her to stop trying to get them to hang with me and if she wants to talk to me I don't want to be around them. Becky said she can't becuase she has attachment issues from her past. Whilst I do understand that she has had issues in the past, I l've had a hard time believing it becuase this has never happened with any other old friends and she constantly lies about the randomist of stuff. For example, she kept telling people she had an ankle issue (not true) but told everyone different ways of how she got this ankle issue, some were falling off a bike, being born with backwards ankles or it just happening overtime.

So basically, what I'm asking is, what should I do? Do I just leave her to be unhappy in the other group and ignore her trying to make me hang with them? Do I cut her off completely? And if I do try and get her out of the other group, how?


1. You and ex friends= sounds like youve moved on. Stay away from them, especially if you have new friends.
2. You and Becky=

Give her some advice:
i) The friends are either good for her or they are not. If they make her cry and unhappy then they arent friends and she had best move away from them. It is her choice, but friends dont behave like that.
ii) You want nothing to do with them so she needs to cease trying to get you to talk to them as you are happier having moved on. You would rather focus on studies.
iii) You are still willing to be friends after.
iv) You should both focus on studies as when you leave school then most of you will never see each other again. but exams will matter for your future options.
Hiya,
Really sorry to hear what has happened with you and your friend. i can so relate to your situation and i is only natural to want to help those close to us. However, we can't make their choices for them. They should choose to hang around with whoever they want to hang around with even if their choices may not be the wisest. You can suggest your viewpoint in that she needs to leave the group that bullys her. As for you my suggestion would be to really distance yourself from this girl and that group she's hanging around with as we are only in control of our actions. Really this is a matter of protecting yourself from an extremely cruel thing like bullying. Hope this helped :smile:
Hi.
I think you should ask her how she is really feeling about this situation and try to help her see that they where really bullying you. If she can't see that then you should walk away but keep a close eye on her incase she starts to get bullied too

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