Why don't I have any friends in Uni?

I'm starting to believe it's todo with the people I come across rather than myself. I have the social skills and capacity to communicate and interact with people but I don't feel or think others have the same attitudes TOWARDS me.. which is making it very challenging. If people don't connect with me then friendships/relationships will struggle to be formed. I've been putting in the effort since I came to uni, and going out of my way to ensure I meet as many people as people. When I talk to people, I want to get to know them personally and such so we can somewhat form connections and build a friendship with each other but I just feel like it's not genuine back (poor reactions and body language received)... which is unfortunate
I'm in second year of university and I feel as getting to know my classmates on a deeper level is impossible, we don't have similar interests and no one will spontaneously come ups to talk to me, I'm forcing my way in discussions and conversations with them which is upsetting. We are breaking up for Christmas this week and when we return next year I just feel like it will be the same with no improvements. I'm already in second year so friendship groups have surely been formed, and the chances of me making or finding new friends looks very slim. I've tried the societies many many times and gained nothing from it, even when I initiate contact, exchanged contact details then I would be the one to ask to meet up. Nothing gets implemented. That's when communication cuts and I forget they even existed. This happened to 3 people.
No one makes the effort with me.
I'm a friendly and sociable person and don't see why I'm having this difficultly in making friends at uni.
I'm not enjoying my time here and dread every moment in this institution and I'm only working towards finishing and completing this degree so I can graduate now be done with it.

Why don't I have any friends in Uni? Is it an external or internal problem? Help!

Reply 1

king98034

7

I feel like this a lot too, I used to put a lot of effort into forming friendships. I went out of my way to talk to people about their problems, offer them solutions, remember personal things they told me, but at the same time still being laid back and not too needy... none of it worked really. I've managed to finally get some better reactions from people now, after I lost a lot of weight (about 20kg). Maybe it really is all about looks.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by king98034

I feel like this a lot too, I used to put a lot of effort into forming friendships. I went out of my way to talk to people about their problems, offer them solutions, remember personal things they told me, but at the same time still being laid back and not too needy... none of it worked really. I've managed to finally get some better reactions from people now, after I lost a lot of weight (about 20kg). Maybe it really is all about looks.

I understand the struggle!
How did you manage to get better reactions and what did you do differently?

If it's about looks than that it dumb. I'm from an ethnic background and if anything I could pull the racist card against others which I won't do. Because they (course mates) aren't racist towards me. I just think people are too cliquey with one another. I don't want be stereotypical but mainly the white people are likely to be amongst other white students, the same with the Asians being amongst their race. I'm the second person of colour on my course whilst everyone else is white (which I have no issue with) but you can see the connections they have with each other and how they are with me.. is different.. smh!
I'm about to get a new hair do next year but I doubt that will change a thing.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Na not stereotypical, I'm Asian, have a white friend, Colombian friend and African. So we're a diverse bunch.
How to make friends? Don't try, I made sure on my first day of uni to try and speak to everyone I could, and those who didn't like me walked away, and those who understood me stayed with me.
Appearance isn't all, believe me it isn't. It's your personality that matters the most.

And society's have been a bonus, try something you love and have a connection with, or try something you've never done before and want to try out.

And who cares about making friends in university, what matters the most are your grades, do well, get a job and find friends there.

And if need be, I'll be your friend, I'm in my 2nd year as well, so if you ever want to talk, I'll make time. :smile:

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

Na not stereotypical, I'm Asian, have a white friend, Colombian friend and African. So we're a diverse bunch.
How to make friends? Don't try, I made sure on my first day of uni to try and speak to everyone I could, and those who didn't like me walked away, and those who understood me stayed with me.
Appearance isn't all, believe me it isn't. It's your personality that matters the most.

And society's have been a bonus, try something you love and have a connection with, or try something you've never done before and want to try out.

And who cares about making friends in university, what matters the most are your grades, do well, get a job and find friends there.

And if need be, I'll be your friend, I'm in my 2nd year as well, so if you ever want to talk, I'll make time. :smile:

There isn't much diverse in my city/uni like it is in London where you see all ethnic backgrounds.
So how can I go about meeting new people to become friends with?

Because I've tried the societies and mentioned the outcome in my post.

After being around my classmates for a year I can say that they're definitely not my type of people, and I can't see myself forming any friendships with any of them. There is no connection and similar interests whatsoever and they all have inside jokes/moments with one another which I can't relate to.

It would be nice to make friends in uni as I'm there most of time. I'm going to get a job and find friends there but because I'm in uni 3x a week it would really be a bonus and lift up my experience if I had at least one friend in uni. And I don't have anyone, and that's why I'm so bored, lonely and miserable whenever I'm here... just feel like crying :frown:

Why don't I have any friends in Uni?

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