I have no friends at uni
Im in first year right now and my flatmates are very cliquey and don't really include me in anything & I'm in 4 societies and I haven't really made any friends.
I have a group of people I sit with during my lectures but they don't seem interested in meeting me outside of uni much. I've even dmd people from my uni on instagram and TikTok to try and make friends but nothing works. Its making me feel really down as I see people going out every weekend and staying over at each others accom and I haven't experienced that
I love going out and I'm down for anything at anytime but everyone has friends to go out with and I ask if people want to go out with me but they say not today and then never invite me and I don't want to seem desperate by always asking when they seem uninterested.
I have a job and I've met people at work but one of them ghosted me the night we were meant to go out and the other has a girlfriend so we don't talk now. I even had free cinema tickets at one point and couldn't even find anyone to go to the cinema with me for free lol.
It's making me feel really bad about myself and Im starting to feel as if there's something wrong with me as so many people are having the "uni experience" and its all I want
I have a group of people I sit with during my lectures but they don't seem interested in meeting me outside of uni much. I've even dmd people from my uni on instagram and TikTok to try and make friends but nothing works. Its making me feel really down as I see people going out every weekend and staying over at each others accom and I haven't experienced that
I love going out and I'm down for anything at anytime but everyone has friends to go out with and I ask if people want to go out with me but they say not today and then never invite me and I don't want to seem desperate by always asking when they seem uninterested.
I have a job and I've met people at work but one of them ghosted me the night we were meant to go out and the other has a girlfriend so we don't talk now. I even had free cinema tickets at one point and couldn't even find anyone to go to the cinema with me for free lol.
It's making me feel really bad about myself and Im starting to feel as if there's something wrong with me as so many people are having the "uni experience" and its all I want
Reply 1
Hey!
I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. I totally understand how you must be feeling, as for me as well it was always difficult to make friends. I really appreciate that you joined societies and connected to people on social media. But at the same time you have to also understand, feeling this way is very common, and many students go through this. Building meaningful connections takes time, and it's okay if things don't happen overnight. I would just advise you to be patient, and if you want to go out and have some fun, don't hesitate in initiating plans. You also might find new friends at university social events. Further, I really appreciate that you came to TSR and talked about your emotions and problems. It's really important to talk about your problems, and that is why whenever you feel low, you should talk to someone you trust, like friends, family or the wellbeing team, so that they can help you during tough times. I assure you things will improve with time and persistance!
Best Wishes
Priya
Postgraduate Ambassador
University of Southampton
I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. I totally understand how you must be feeling, as for me as well it was always difficult to make friends. I really appreciate that you joined societies and connected to people on social media. But at the same time you have to also understand, feeling this way is very common, and many students go through this. Building meaningful connections takes time, and it's okay if things don't happen overnight. I would just advise you to be patient, and if you want to go out and have some fun, don't hesitate in initiating plans. You also might find new friends at university social events. Further, I really appreciate that you came to TSR and talked about your emotions and problems. It's really important to talk about your problems, and that is why whenever you feel low, you should talk to someone you trust, like friends, family or the wellbeing team, so that they can help you during tough times. I assure you things will improve with time and persistance!
Best Wishes
Priya
Postgraduate Ambassador
University of Southampton
Reply 2
Which uni?
Reply 3
Original post
by undefinedIm in first year right now and my flatmates are very cliquey and don't really include me in anything & I'm in 4 societies and I haven't really made any friends.
I have a group of people I sit with during my lectures but they don't seem interested in meeting me outside of uni much. I've even dmd people from my uni on instagram and TikTok to try and make friends but nothing works. Its making me feel really down as I see people going out every weekend and staying over at each others accom and I haven't experienced that
I love going out and I'm down for anything at anytime but everyone has friends to go out with and I ask if people want to go out with me but they say not today and then never invite me and I don't want to seem desperate by always asking when they seem uninterested.
I have a job and I've met people at work but one of them ghosted me the night we were meant to go out and the other has a girlfriend so we don't talk now. I even had free cinema tickets at one point and couldn't even find anyone to go to the cinema with me for free lol.
It's making me feel really bad about myself and Im starting to feel as if there's something wrong with me as so many people are having the "uni experience" and its all I want
I have a group of people I sit with during my lectures but they don't seem interested in meeting me outside of uni much. I've even dmd people from my uni on instagram and TikTok to try and make friends but nothing works. Its making me feel really down as I see people going out every weekend and staying over at each others accom and I haven't experienced that
I love going out and I'm down for anything at anytime but everyone has friends to go out with and I ask if people want to go out with me but they say not today and then never invite me and I don't want to seem desperate by always asking when they seem uninterested.
I have a job and I've met people at work but one of them ghosted me the night we were meant to go out and the other has a girlfriend so we don't talk now. I even had free cinema tickets at one point and couldn't even find anyone to go to the cinema with me for free lol.
It's making me feel really bad about myself and Im starting to feel as if there's something wrong with me as so many people are having the "uni experience" and its all I want
Hi @undefined
I’m sorry to hear you’ve been struggling with making friends at university, the loneliness at university really sucks ☹️ I want to emphasise that a lot of people experience this, and you aren’t alone in it. You should be really proud for putting yourself out there and trying, even when it can feel discouraging.
I know you’ve tried societies, but have you tried social events? Universities and some societies host social events for students (even if you aren’t part of their society) to meet others whilst doing something. For example, I’ve heard of group painting sessions, organised night outs, tea and cake sessions etc. Doing activities with people could be a great way to get to know them.
Don’t beat yourself up if it takes you a while to make friends. Some people don’t find their friends at university and it doesn’t say anything about their character.
I hope this helps! 🙂
Estelle
Third Year Psychology
University of Huddersfield
Reply 4
Hey there,
I totally understand how you feel, as I experienced something similar in my first year. It can be really tough when it feels like you're on the outside looking in. But remember, it's okay to take time to find your place. It's also important to not compare your experiences with others. Everyone's "uni experience" is different and it's not always as perfect as it may seem. Try to stay open to new experiences and people, and don't put too much pressure on yourself. You're not alone in feeling this way and things will get better with time.
Perhaps you could try focusing on building deeper connections with a smaller number of people, rather than reaching out to a broad range of individuals. Quality friendships often take time to develop, so be patient with yourself and others. If the societies you joined aren't working out, consider looking for other clubs or groups that align better with your interests.
When it comes to your flatmates, try to find common ground or shared interests that could help you bond. While it's important to feel comfortable in your living situation, remember that your flatmates don't have to become your best friends.
I hope this helps,
Ilya
I totally understand how you feel, as I experienced something similar in my first year. It can be really tough when it feels like you're on the outside looking in. But remember, it's okay to take time to find your place. It's also important to not compare your experiences with others. Everyone's "uni experience" is different and it's not always as perfect as it may seem. Try to stay open to new experiences and people, and don't put too much pressure on yourself. You're not alone in feeling this way and things will get better with time.
Perhaps you could try focusing on building deeper connections with a smaller number of people, rather than reaching out to a broad range of individuals. Quality friendships often take time to develop, so be patient with yourself and others. If the societies you joined aren't working out, consider looking for other clubs or groups that align better with your interests.
When it comes to your flatmates, try to find common ground or shared interests that could help you bond. While it's important to feel comfortable in your living situation, remember that your flatmates don't have to become your best friends.
I hope this helps,
Ilya
Reply 5
Original post
by Anonymous #1Im in first year right now and my flatmates are very cliquey and don't really include me in anything & I'm in 4 societies and I haven't really made any friends.
I have a group of people I sit with during my lectures but they don't seem interested in meeting me outside of uni much. I've even dmd people from my uni on instagram and TikTok to try and make friends but nothing works. Its making me feel really down as I see people going out every weekend and staying over at each others accom and I haven't experienced that
I love going out and I'm down for anything at anytime but everyone has friends to go out with and I ask if people want to go out with me but they say not today and then never invite me and I don't want to seem desperate by always asking when they seem uninterested.
I have a job and I've met people at work but one of them ghosted me the night we were meant to go out and the other has a girlfriend so we don't talk now. I even had free cinema tickets at one point and couldn't even find anyone to go to the cinema with me for free lol.
It's making me feel really bad about myself and Im starting to feel as if there's something wrong with me as so many people are having the "uni experience" and its all I want
I have a group of people I sit with during my lectures but they don't seem interested in meeting me outside of uni much. I've even dmd people from my uni on instagram and TikTok to try and make friends but nothing works. Its making me feel really down as I see people going out every weekend and staying over at each others accom and I haven't experienced that
I love going out and I'm down for anything at anytime but everyone has friends to go out with and I ask if people want to go out with me but they say not today and then never invite me and I don't want to seem desperate by always asking when they seem uninterested.
I have a job and I've met people at work but one of them ghosted me the night we were meant to go out and the other has a girlfriend so we don't talk now. I even had free cinema tickets at one point and couldn't even find anyone to go to the cinema with me for free lol.
It's making me feel really bad about myself and Im starting to feel as if there's something wrong with me as so many people are having the "uni experience" and its all I want
Hi there,
I'm really sorry to hear you are struggling with this right now. Loneliness, especially during this time of year and with many academic commitments, can be really tough. I'd first encourage you to not be disheartened and to keep trying!
Meaningful connections and friendships can take some time to develop, so it is important to keep going. Also remember that the 'uni experience' looks different for everyone, so try not to compare yourself to others too much, although I do this sometimes myself - it's hard not to!
I think it is important to remember why you are there. Are you enjoying your studies? What societies are you a part of? Are there any events or activities that your university/city runs that you can get involved in too? I think it's great that you're down to do anything, those friends are always so fun to hangout with!
When it comes to your flatmates and course mates, I'd recommend you try to find things you have in common and get to know them a little more in that setting. Some people get comfortable with the friends that they have already made, so just keep trying, be kind, and know that it won't always be like this.
Remember it is okay to try activities alone too! I find that going to the cinema alone is such a fun and independent activity, but I also understand how important it is to have those connections at university. It takes time and there are many people who are experiencing the same thing - you've got this!
Best of luck,
Isabella
Third-year Geography with a Year Abroad Student
Reply 6
Hello,
My name is Haya and I am an international student at UClan.
I want to reassure you that how you feel is similar to how I and a lot of my colleagues felt like at the beginning of our uni career.
I think with time, you’ll find that you will meet more friends not only in your course, but also in the common social spaces.
I also made some of my friends in fitness classes in the gym, and around the library.
Finally, there might be some apps where you can meet people nearby and that sometimes can be helpful.
I hope the situation gets better and if in doubt seek support from universities as they often have schemes like Unibuddy.
Best of luck,
Haya
MBBS- V
My name is Haya and I am an international student at UClan.
I want to reassure you that how you feel is similar to how I and a lot of my colleagues felt like at the beginning of our uni career.
I think with time, you’ll find that you will meet more friends not only in your course, but also in the common social spaces.
I also made some of my friends in fitness classes in the gym, and around the library.
Finally, there might be some apps where you can meet people nearby and that sometimes can be helpful.
I hope the situation gets better and if in doubt seek support from universities as they often have schemes like Unibuddy.
Best of luck,
Haya
MBBS- V
Reply 7
Original post
by Anonymous #1Im in first year right now and my flatmates are very cliquey and don't really include me in anything & I'm in 4 societies and I haven't really made any friends.
I have a group of people I sit with during my lectures but they don't seem interested in meeting me outside of uni much. I've even dmd people from my uni on instagram and TikTok to try and make friends but nothing works. Its making me feel really down as I see people going out every weekend and staying over at each others accom and I haven't experienced that
I love going out and I'm down for anything at anytime but everyone has friends to go out with and I ask if people want to go out with me but they say not today and then never invite me and I don't want to seem desperate by always asking when they seem uninterested.
I have a job and I've met people at work but one of them ghosted me the night we were meant to go out and the other has a girlfriend so we don't talk now. I even had free cinema tickets at one point and couldn't even find anyone to go to the cinema with me for free lol.
It's making me feel really bad about myself and Im starting to feel as if there's something wrong with me as so many people are having the "uni experience" and its all I want
I have a group of people I sit with during my lectures but they don't seem interested in meeting me outside of uni much. I've even dmd people from my uni on instagram and TikTok to try and make friends but nothing works. Its making me feel really down as I see people going out every weekend and staying over at each others accom and I haven't experienced that
I love going out and I'm down for anything at anytime but everyone has friends to go out with and I ask if people want to go out with me but they say not today and then never invite me and I don't want to seem desperate by always asking when they seem uninterested.
I have a job and I've met people at work but one of them ghosted me the night we were meant to go out and the other has a girlfriend so we don't talk now. I even had free cinema tickets at one point and couldn't even find anyone to go to the cinema with me for free lol.
It's making me feel really bad about myself and Im starting to feel as if there's something wrong with me as so many people are having the "uni experience" and its all I want
Hey, I'm sorry to hear that you're having a tough time right now! I don't really have any advice to give, because it sounds like you're doing everything right already. However, I will say that a lot of people don't really find their people until further into uni! I personally wasn't close to anyone until well into the second term and had similar feelings while seeing everyone else doing things together. This year I've felt much more confident and comfortable with the people around me. So I guess my best advice is to just keep going and making an effort, and I'm sure that you'll find people you click with at some point!
Best of luck.
-Kat (2nd year psychology student at Lancaster University)
Reply 8
Original post
by Anonymous #1Im in first year right now and my flatmates are very cliquey and don't really include me in anything & I'm in 4 societies and I haven't really made any friends.
I have a group of people I sit with during my lectures but they don't seem interested in meeting me outside of uni much. I've even dmd people from my uni on instagram and TikTok to try and make friends but nothing works. Its making me feel really down as I see people going out every weekend and staying over at each others accom and I haven't experienced that
I love going out and I'm down for anything at anytime but everyone has friends to go out with and I ask if people want to go out with me but they say not today and then never invite me and I don't want to seem desperate by always asking when they seem uninterested.
I have a job and I've met people at work but one of them ghosted me the night we were meant to go out and the other has a girlfriend so we don't talk now. I even had free cinema tickets at one point and couldn't even find anyone to go to the cinema with me for free lol.
It's making me feel really bad about myself and Im starting to feel as if there's something wrong with me as so many people are having the "uni experience" and its all I want
I have a group of people I sit with during my lectures but they don't seem interested in meeting me outside of uni much. I've even dmd people from my uni on instagram and TikTok to try and make friends but nothing works. Its making me feel really down as I see people going out every weekend and staying over at each others accom and I haven't experienced that
I love going out and I'm down for anything at anytime but everyone has friends to go out with and I ask if people want to go out with me but they say not today and then never invite me and I don't want to seem desperate by always asking when they seem uninterested.
I have a job and I've met people at work but one of them ghosted me the night we were meant to go out and the other has a girlfriend so we don't talk now. I even had free cinema tickets at one point and couldn't even find anyone to go to the cinema with me for free lol.
It's making me feel really bad about myself and Im starting to feel as if there's something wrong with me as so many people are having the "uni experience" and its all I want
Hiya,
I am so sorry to hear that you’re having a tough time and feeling this way. Starting uni can be really tough for some people!
It sounds like you’re doing all the right things to make friends, but sometimes it just takes time to find your place. Although it might seem like everyone is having a great time and easily making friends, lots of people take much longer to find their place at uni. I’m in my third year now and I mainly have a few good friends. But I didn’t hang out with anyone outside uni until close to the end of my first year.
It can take time to make meaningful friendships. Maybe it’s worth asking some of the friends you sit with in lectures, if they’d like to go for a drink or a coffee after class? I understand that you might have tried this already but please don’t give up.
Try not to take it personally either. I know it might seem that people don’t want to hang out with you, but people often get caught up in their own lives and probably don’t realise the situation you’re in.
Maybe it would be worth looking into any social events your university is holding and even events or groups you could join outside of your university.
It’s great you’ve reached out here. Make sure to talk to your family about how you’re feeling and if you’re really struggling reach out to your university wellbeing team. They will be able to offer you lots of support and they might even be able to suggest other ways of meeting people.
Don’t give up 🙂 I hope you find your people soon!
All the best,
Sophie (ARU)
Reply 9
Original post
by Anonymous #1Im in first year right now and my flatmates are very cliquey and don't really include me in anything & I'm in 4 societies and I haven't really made any friends.
I have a group of people I sit with during my lectures but they don't seem interested in meeting me outside of uni much. I've even dmd people from my uni on instagram and TikTok to try and make friends but nothing works. Its making me feel really down as I see people going out every weekend and staying over at each others accom and I haven't experienced that
I love going out and I'm down for anything at anytime but everyone has friends to go out with and I ask if people want to go out with me but they say not today and then never invite me and I don't want to seem desperate by always asking when they seem uninterested.
I have a job and I've met people at work but one of them ghosted me the night we were meant to go out and the other has a girlfriend so we don't talk now. I even had free cinema tickets at one point and couldn't even find anyone to go to the cinema with me for free lol.
It's making me feel really bad about myself and Im starting to feel as if there's something wrong with me as so many people are having the "uni experience" and its all I want
I have a group of people I sit with during my lectures but they don't seem interested in meeting me outside of uni much. I've even dmd people from my uni on instagram and TikTok to try and make friends but nothing works. Its making me feel really down as I see people going out every weekend and staying over at each others accom and I haven't experienced that
I love going out and I'm down for anything at anytime but everyone has friends to go out with and I ask if people want to go out with me but they say not today and then never invite me and I don't want to seem desperate by always asking when they seem uninterested.
I have a job and I've met people at work but one of them ghosted me the night we were meant to go out and the other has a girlfriend so we don't talk now. I even had free cinema tickets at one point and couldn't even find anyone to go to the cinema with me for free lol.
It's making me feel really bad about myself and Im starting to feel as if there's something wrong with me as so many people are having the "uni experience" and its all I want
Hi there,
I'm sorry to hear you are having a tough time,
It can be hard when you feel like you are doing everything you can to make friends and nobody seems to want to be your friend. It took me a while to make friends in my first year so I understand how hard it can be when you feel lonely and it seems like everyone else is out having fun. Try and remember that everyone has tough times and just because you see things on social media it doesn't mean that everyone is having loads of fun all the time as this isn't always the case.
I know you have joined societies which is good but as someone else has said there are usually other social events that universities put on which you could go along to and see if there is anyone there that you click with.
Also if you are in student accommodation then try and see if they ever put any events on at all as some halls do this or if you have social spaces in the building then try and go there and see if you meet anybody this way as most people would be friendly if you approached them.
I hope some of this helps,
Lucy - SHU student ambassador
Reply 10
Original post
by AnonymousI have a group of people I sit with during my lectures but they don't seem interested in meeting me outside of uni much. I've even dmd people from my uni on instagram and TikTok to try and make friends but nothing works. Its making me feel really down as I see people going out every weekend and staying over at each others accom and I haven't experienced that
I love going out and I'm down for anything at anytime but everyone has friends to go out with and I ask if people want to go out with me but they say not today and then never invite me and I don't want to seem desperate by always asking when they seem uninterested.
I have a job and I've met people at work but one of them ghosted me the night we were meant to go out and the other has a girlfriend so we don't talk now. I even had free cinema tickets at one point and couldn't even find anyone to go to the cinema with me for free lol.
It's making me feel really bad about myself and Im starting to feel as if there's something wrong with me as so many people are having the
Reply 11
Original post
by AnonymousIm in first year right now and my flatmates are very cliquey and don't really include me in anything & I'm in 4 societies and I haven't really made any friends.
I have a group of people I sit with during my lectures but they don't seem interested in meeting me outside of uni much. I've even dmd people from my uni on instagram and TikTok to try and make friends but nothing works. Its making me feel really down as I see people going out every weekend and staying over at each others accom and I haven't experienced that
I love going out and I'm down for anything at anytime but everyone has friends to go out with and I ask if people want to go out with me but they say not today and then never invite me and I don't want to seem desperate by always asking when they seem uninterested.
I have a job and I've met people at work but one of them ghosted me the night we were meant to go out and the other has a girlfriend so we don't talk now. I even had free cinema tickets at one point and couldn't even find anyone to go to the cinema with me for free lol.
It's making me feel really bad about myself and Im starting to feel as if there's something wrong with me as so many people are having the "uni experience" and its all I want
I have a group of people I sit with during my lectures but they don't seem interested in meeting me outside of uni much. I've even dmd people from my uni on instagram and TikTok to try and make friends but nothing works. Its making me feel really down as I see people going out every weekend and staying over at each others accom and I haven't experienced that
I love going out and I'm down for anything at anytime but everyone has friends to go out with and I ask if people want to go out with me but they say not today and then never invite me and I don't want to seem desperate by always asking when they seem uninterested.
I have a job and I've met people at work but one of them ghosted me the night we were meant to go out and the other has a girlfriend so we don't talk now. I even had free cinema tickets at one point and couldn't even find anyone to go to the cinema with me for free lol.
It's making me feel really bad about myself and Im starting to feel as if there's something wrong with me as so many people are having the "uni experience" and its all I want
I’ll be your friend! What uni??
Reply 12
Unfortunately this can be the reality for some people including myself, I know thats maybe not what you want to hear, but its the truth in some instances. I'm now in my third year of University (Graduating this year (hopefully)) and I can't say I really have any friends in University or have made any. I think part of it can depend on what course you're doing, for example I do a business course and the subject sessions are primarily lectures, thus you don't really get the time to talk to people to make friends. Because of this I primarily work at my job and study from home.
In your first year of University you tend to meet a good amount of people and then never talk to them again. I am sort of a hypocrite with this as I did make a few friends with people in my first year but I didn't feel as though they were "my people" or the type of friends I wanted to be with. For me it was mainly because they were obssessively annoying, loud, and rude, and because of that I think me stepping away from them was justified. I presume you were living in halls for your first year? Most people (from what I've read online) rarely talk to their first year flatmates again, which is something I experienced myself. I had good connections with all of them, but its just a weird thing that you don't talk to them again, like some unwritten rule?
Another thing I wanted to add, don't feel bad about yourself, there isn't anything wrong with you, a lot of the things you mentioned, i.e. ghosting, people no longer talking to you after a while, is unfortunately common. I find that most people at university tend to be two-faced and inherently untruthful, but not to an extreme level. I think University is an odd stage in life, more so if you're still in your teenage years to mid twenties, I think a lot of people, including myself are all trying to figure out what they want, who they want to be, who they want to be with etc, because they're still young, including yourself.
A lot of this also, I think can depend on 1. As I mentioned earlier, the course you chose, and 2. The University you go to. The University I go to is neither in the Best catergory or Worst category. I think the more successful/prestigious a University is you have a better chance of connections. I believe this because I have friends who go to Norwich University of the Arts and the University of East Anglia, and unlike me they're having a great time, however, I could be wrong. I think the idea of the "Uni lifestyle" does exist but you unfortunately have to be lucky.
Now enough of the negative talk, I'll give you some suggestions to actually make connections with people;
For me, my way out of this feeling of lonelieness is to find a good job, with a good environment, and good people. I don't particularly love my job, I have a love-hate relationship with it, but what makes my job enjoyable is the people and thats how I personally get through it. If you don't have that, leave your job immediately, you're a student and you don't need a crap job weighing you down further. I have made much better friends and connections through my job, I actually go out with them and do fun enjoyable things. Some of my friends at work are a significant bit older than me and often have some good stories and life advice.
Find a hobby
I've always had a passion for mountain biking/cycling. Although I cycle alone around my city, I find this enjoyable and freeing as you're away from the stress of a multitude of things, and I think its important to be doing something that its active and away from a University and/or a job setting. If you have a passionate hobby, go out and do it!
If you're athletic/into sports, join one of the sports teams.
I myself personally haven't joined a sports team, but I know for a fact that if you have a sport you enjoy or played previously in highschool you'll definitely make friends there.
Enjoy your time alone:
Eat good, make money, and spend your freetime doing things that you enjoy.
For me I always treat myself with the excess money I make from work, play videogames, and watch streaming services.
But yeah, I'm sorry you have to go through this. It is tough, but at the end of the day a lot of your interactions at University and Work are all temporary and will all lead to something bigger in the future that will pay off.
In your first year of University you tend to meet a good amount of people and then never talk to them again. I am sort of a hypocrite with this as I did make a few friends with people in my first year but I didn't feel as though they were "my people" or the type of friends I wanted to be with. For me it was mainly because they were obssessively annoying, loud, and rude, and because of that I think me stepping away from them was justified. I presume you were living in halls for your first year? Most people (from what I've read online) rarely talk to their first year flatmates again, which is something I experienced myself. I had good connections with all of them, but its just a weird thing that you don't talk to them again, like some unwritten rule?
Another thing I wanted to add, don't feel bad about yourself, there isn't anything wrong with you, a lot of the things you mentioned, i.e. ghosting, people no longer talking to you after a while, is unfortunately common. I find that most people at university tend to be two-faced and inherently untruthful, but not to an extreme level. I think University is an odd stage in life, more so if you're still in your teenage years to mid twenties, I think a lot of people, including myself are all trying to figure out what they want, who they want to be, who they want to be with etc, because they're still young, including yourself.
A lot of this also, I think can depend on 1. As I mentioned earlier, the course you chose, and 2. The University you go to. The University I go to is neither in the Best catergory or Worst category. I think the more successful/prestigious a University is you have a better chance of connections. I believe this because I have friends who go to Norwich University of the Arts and the University of East Anglia, and unlike me they're having a great time, however, I could be wrong. I think the idea of the "Uni lifestyle" does exist but you unfortunately have to be lucky.
Now enough of the negative talk, I'll give you some suggestions to actually make connections with people;
For me, my way out of this feeling of lonelieness is to find a good job, with a good environment, and good people. I don't particularly love my job, I have a love-hate relationship with it, but what makes my job enjoyable is the people and thats how I personally get through it. If you don't have that, leave your job immediately, you're a student and you don't need a crap job weighing you down further. I have made much better friends and connections through my job, I actually go out with them and do fun enjoyable things. Some of my friends at work are a significant bit older than me and often have some good stories and life advice.
Find a hobby
I've always had a passion for mountain biking/cycling. Although I cycle alone around my city, I find this enjoyable and freeing as you're away from the stress of a multitude of things, and I think its important to be doing something that its active and away from a University and/or a job setting. If you have a passionate hobby, go out and do it!
If you're athletic/into sports, join one of the sports teams.
I myself personally haven't joined a sports team, but I know for a fact that if you have a sport you enjoy or played previously in highschool you'll definitely make friends there.
Enjoy your time alone:
Eat good, make money, and spend your freetime doing things that you enjoy.
For me I always treat myself with the excess money I make from work, play videogames, and watch streaming services.
But yeah, I'm sorry you have to go through this. It is tough, but at the end of the day a lot of your interactions at University and Work are all temporary and will all lead to something bigger in the future that will pay off.
Reply 13
same situation here. And honestly i don't even have much time to meet new people. Balance isn’t just a buzzword—it’s essential. I used to stretch myself so thin that I’d fall asleep mid-sentence while working. Since discovering academized https://academized.com/write-my-dissertation , I’ve been able to divide my time more mindfully. Now I feel like I’m living, not just surviving. And that makes all the difference.
(edited 10 months ago)
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