I feel like I cheated on my boyfriend :(

So, my boyfriend and I have been together nearly three years. Our relationship has been rocky at the moment - he's been suffering with drug issues, money issues and subsequently mental health issues. I've stuck with him through everything. But recently he hasn't been very nice to me - shouting at me, being rude in general, having what I call "episodes" when he gets angry and punches walls etc. After his 3rd episode of the week, I told him the other day I wanted to go on a break. It was just too emotionally exhausting for me, especially because I'm in my third year at University and I just had exams. So I went home for a night. In a bid to make me feel better, my friends and I went to the pub. Big mistake. I got really drunk, I don't remember a lot. I have a male friend who I get on really well with - he has just broken up with his girlfriend and he told me he liked me. We were both drunk and just joking about. I don't like him back. I love my boyfriend but I guess I just felt confused, so I think I may have given the impression I also like my friend back. I don't remember a lot, I know we didn't kiss or anything like that. But I still feel really guilty about it. I want to tell my boyfriend what happened but I feel like he'll never forgive me. I do not like this other guy at all so I don't know why I acted the way I did and I just hate myself for it.

Hey, thanks for reaching out, it's not easy to do that, you're in a safe place.

You're in a hard place at the moment, and with all the things going on it's very easy to feel overwhelmed. Just to let you know it's ok to feel like that. I think you needed to have a nice evening out and being with friends gave you just that. I wouldn't consider what you said as cheating, you said you didn't kiss him, nor did you do anything else, perhaps he was just showing affection that you might not be getting from your bf.

With what's going on with him, I'd be very careful if you do tell him anything, he might not see it the way you do and could fly off the handles. I would personally not say anything, you just had a friend show some affection when you needed it, that was it. I don't think you need to worry about it in the slightest.

I hope he finds some peace and calms down, for your sake as well as his own. I can't imagine how difficult this is for you to deal with, on top of uni work.

So no, i don't think you cheated at all.

You're always welcome to ask for help here, no one is going to judge you.

Thank you for your kind words <3

So, my boyfriend and I have been together nearly three years. Our relationship has been rocky at the moment - he's been suffering with drug issues, money issues and subsequently mental health issues. I've stuck with him through everything. But recently he hasn't been very nice to me - shouting at me, being rude in general, having what I call "episodes" when he gets angry and punches walls etc. After his 3rd episode of the week, I told him the other day I wanted to go on a break. It was just too emotionally exhausting for me, especially because I'm in my third year at University and I just had exams. So I went home for a night. In a bid to make me feel better, my friends and I went to the pub. Big mistake. I got really drunk, I don't remember a lot. I have a male friend who I get on really well with - he has just broken up with his girlfriend and he told me he liked me. We were both drunk and just joking about. I don't like him back. I love my boyfriend but I guess I just felt confused, so I think I may have given the impression I also like my friend back. I don't remember a lot, I know we didn't kiss or anything like that. But I still feel really guilty about it. I want to tell my boyfriend what happened but I feel like he'll never forgive me. I do not like this other guy at all so I don't know why I acted the way I did and I just hate myself for it.