The Student Room Group

My husband doesn’t feel pleasure during sex

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(edited 3 years ago)
Reply 1
Original post by Maya327
Hi, me and my husband have been together for almost than 3 years. We lost our virginity’s to each other after 1 year of being together. For some reason he can’t feel much from penetration. But he can *** and feels it during oral/hands. He doesn’t have a problem with getting turned on. But it’s just whenever we try to do it all the way it’s uncomfortable and he doesn’t feel anything or a slight pinch. He’s uncircumcised. He has had two gfs in the past both have cheated on him and he of course never went all the way and it was problem for them. He has thought maybe he’s gay but he has no sexual interest in men. We’ve tried many positions but nothing really works it’s either to much work for him and he just can’t feel pleasure. He has watched porn in the past but has since stopped since we got married 6 months ago. Hope you guys can help us thank you

Divorce him, pm me
Original post by Maya327
Hi, me and my husband have been together for almost than 3 years. We lost our virginity’s to each other after 1 year of being together. For some reason he can’t feel much from penetration. But he can *** and feels it during oral/hands. He doesn’t have a problem with getting turned on. But it’s just whenever we try to do it all the way it’s uncomfortable and he doesn’t feel anything or a slight pinch. He’s uncircumcised. He has had two gfs in the past both have cheated on him and he of course never went all the way and it was problem for them. He has thought maybe he’s gay but he has no sexual interest in men. We’ve tried many positions but nothing really works it’s either to much work for him and he just can’t feel pleasure. He has watched porn in the past but has since stopped since we got married 6 months ago. Hope you guys can help us thank you

Sounds crude of me to say this but have you searched up any medication that can help him, or maybe convince him to see a GP, a medical professional. I know it might be embarrassing but if you convince him that you're here to support him through it then that's good.
I think maybe you should both watch porn together, maybe that could work? or roleplaying? If you have tried those and it didnt work then going to a GP or sex therapy could help both of you.
I am sure its a problem that can be fixed, dont listen to the other person who claimed you should divorce him that's extreme not to mention immature, and he shouldn't have said that!

Hope this helps x
My bf had the same problem, I wouldn't suggest watching porn, you shouldn't need to watch porn while having sex in order to orgasm, and that can be too stimulating etc. Usually a bj or hand job uses more physical stimulation of the penis than sex does, so perhaps he has a higher orgasm threshold, or has been used to having more physical stimulation? Does it make a difference using no / thinner condoms? Or have you tried him not organising for a long time then having sex? As above said, if you have tried everything which you seem to have, then you might need to get external help from a professional.
Also make sure it doesn't affect you psychologically

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