Opening up

Not long ago I to a car dealership event in Sheffield and it was amazing but it was so good and it's made me realise a lot of things to be fair and a lot of things a lot of things in my life you ****ing changing. I never thought a car event that would affect me like this like honestly just let me please explain why you being like this and why I am acting weird I’ve been feeling a bit down lately it’s just thing’s like how things are atm. If could pass my test now I would literally do like that no matter what like honestly I literally have not been happy without being able to drive, I I do have my family to give me lifts that but I think they would accept how happy would make me if I could drive and **** like. I'm really not happy living with not having my licence it’s not like I get judged for not driving it's just I just don't like the using public transport, I have tried walking, tried cycling and tried the bus but I hated them so much. My friends as well they are not into cars as heavily as me and I need to stop letting cars be my everything. It’s just things like that if I go to pub and I don't want to do other things that I use the bus and I like I say I hate it so much and I just love cars like they make me so happy like genuinely do. Nothing has really brought me happiness like cars and right now I'm just addicted honestly. I just think I didn’t I a car event would effect me like this but let me please explain. I just that I don't really have many people to speak to face-to-face but I have a family give me a little bit more and I chat with just about things that I'm into people have tried being there for me but I just pushed them away. My family bought a house and I stayed there on my own for so long biggest mistake of my life. I am just in to cars so much.

I have so many random thoughts. But yes cars like I keep saying, cars, they make me happy and I think driving is one of the few things that Im into right now. I think driving is so important to me it determines so much about me and my future. I've just got so much of a passion for cars. Like honestly I don't give a **** are they actually are like we I do mean it. When I literally feel stressed I just go on YouTube and I watch videos on cars and they there for me to watch. Like it’s so much of a passion but I really do care so much about getting my drivers licence. Driving is genuinely really good.

Anyway I might be feeling like this because of lockdown so maybe that's why maybe I feel this way because of that. But something deeper and I think that it is deep because I felt like this for a very long time, I felt lonely, I have felt down. Many people tell me that I'm like this I don't tell them that I'm upset I keep it all to myself because I don't wanna not weak. I don't know going on the word man I glitzy I'm just not a good talker. I know what like I wish I was more confident as a person, I just like this woman but I don’t have the confidence to even say hi to her or anything, I just think getting my licence would make me more confident about my self in general.

I posted before but I just felt like I need to do it again just because I have still been feeling like this.

Not long ago I to a car dealership event in Sheffield and it was amazing but it was so good and it's made me realise a lot of things to be fair and a lot of things a lot of things in my life you ****ing changing. I never thought a car event that would affect me like this like honestly just let me please explain why you being like this and why I am acting weird I’ve been feeling a bit down lately it’s just thing’s like how things are atm. If could pass my test now I would literally do like that no matter what like honestly I literally have not been happy without being able to drive, I I do have my family to give me lifts that but I think they would accept how happy would make me if I could drive and **** like. I'm really not happy living with not having my licence it’s not like I get judged for not driving it's just I just don't like the using public transport, I have tried walking, tried cycling and tried the bus but I hated them so much. My friends as well they are not into cars as heavily as me and I need to stop letting cars be my everything. It’s just things like that if I go to pub and I don't want to do other things that I use the bus and I like I say I hate it so much and I just love cars like they make me so happy like genuinely do. Nothing has really brought me happiness like cars and right now I'm just addicted honestly. I just think I didn’t I a car event would effect me like this but let me please explain. I just that I don't really have many people to speak to face-to-face but I have a family give me a little bit more and I chat with just about things that I'm into people have tried being there for me but I just pushed them away. My family bought a house and I stayed there on my own for so long biggest mistake of my life. I am just in to cars so much.

I have so many random thoughts. But yes cars like I keep saying, cars, they make me happy and I think driving is one of the few things that Im into right now. I think driving is so important to me it determines so much about me and my future. I've just got so much of a passion for cars. Like honestly I don't give a **** are they actually are like we I do mean it. When I literally feel stressed I just go on YouTube and I watch videos on cars and they there for me to watch. Like it’s so much of a passion but I really do care so much about getting my drivers licence. Driving is genuinely really good.

Anyway I might be feeling like this because of lockdown so maybe that's why maybe I feel this way because of that. But something deeper and I think that it is deep because I felt like this for a very long time, I felt lonely, I have felt down. Many people tell me that I'm like this I don't tell them that I'm upset I keep it all to myself because I don't wanna not weak. I don't know going on the word man I glitzy I'm just not a good talker. I know what like I wish I was more confident as a person, I just like this woman but I don’t have the confidence to even say hi to her or anything, I just think getting my licence would make me more confident about my self in general.

I posted before but I just felt like I need to do it again just because I have still been feeling like this.