Losing will to live

I'm staying with a relative down the road for the next month because I thought it would be easier to study and sleep, but I’ve been unable to do either of those things effectively - if anything, I feel worse than I would at home. In a nutshell, I’m 17 and share a room with my 19 year old sister who used to be civil with me, but who suddenly started hanging out with different people and now treats me like dirt, so I couldn’t take it and left. That makes me so very weak, I know, but I don’t have energy for arguments or standing my ground. Anyway, 30 minutes ago I tried putting a fan on (one you plug in) because I can’t cope in this heat and I was wearing ear plugs so mustn’t have realised how loud I was being, then my relative called my name and I got scared not knowing who it was as the sound was muffled. They told me to sleep downstairs instead (???) and that I was disturbing the neighbours which is completely fair as it’s their home, but I was literally plugging a fan in then plopped myself straight on the bed. Either way, I haven’t been sleeping till 3am most nights because there are loads of bugs and again, it’s super warm, so I’ve just decided to stay up all night in the ‘office’ room (empty bedroom) watching films to kill the time and will probably even do some studying since I’ve done nothing all day. I know I sound dramatic and insane, and should just go back to bed, but if I’m just going to lay there anxious then it’s probably best to occupy myself. Man, I just wish the summer was over.

I'm staying with a relative down the road for the next month because I thought it would be easier to study and sleep, but I’ve been unable to do either of those things effectively - if anything, I feel worse than I would at home. In a nutshell, I’m 17 and share a room with my 19 year old sister who used to be civil with me, but who suddenly started hanging out with different people and now treats me like dirt, so I couldn’t take it and left. That makes me so very weak, I know, but I don’t have energy for arguments or standing my ground. Anyway, 30 minutes ago I tried putting a fan on (one you plug in) because I can’t cope in this heat and I was wearing ear plugs so mustn’t have realised how loud I was being, then my relative called my name and I got scared not knowing who it was as the sound was muffled. They told me to sleep downstairs instead (???) and that I was disturbing the neighbours which is completely fair as it’s their home, but I was literally plugging a fan in then plopped myself straight on the bed. Either way, I haven’t been sleeping till 3am most nights because there are loads of bugs and again, it’s super warm, so I’ve just decided to stay up all night in the ‘office’ room (empty bedroom) watching films to kill the time and will probably even do some studying since I’ve done nothing all day. I know I sound dramatic and insane, and should just go back to bed, but if I’m just going to lay there anxious then it’s probably best to occupy myself. Man, I just wish the summer was over.

i know this heat can be hard, i think everyone is struggling with it. just try to stay positive and you can message me on here if you would like for distractions. i have been feeling down and lonely not seeing people at the moment because of social anxiety so if you ever need to talk message!