Scared that I won’t get on with my flatmates

I’m scared that I won’t get on with my flat mates and it’ll be a nightmare considering they’re the only people Ill get to socialise with for a while as most classes are online as well as societies also you can’t meet with more than 6 ppl now. Anybody else scared of that? How can I avoid things being awkward? Obviously I know not everyone will like me but I don’t want to be lonely

Reply 1

Aimee9675

14

I would say try your best to be their friends (remember they will have the same fears as you) and make sure you compromise on any disagreements. Or at the very least be calm during any conflicts.

Lots of the time, it’s not the problem that can friendship breakups, but how people react in them. If you immediately get defensive or aggressive when a problem arises, chances are you will quickly grow to hate each other. Stay calm, collected and diplomatic and you will be fine.

Even if your roommate is a b*tch, as long as you don’t come across as one, the other 4 people in your room will probably like you more.

Original post by Anonymous

I’m scared that I won’t get on with my flat mates and it’ll be a nightmare considering they’re the only people Ill get to socialise with for a while as most classes are online as well as societies also you can’t meet with more than 6 ppl now. Anybody else scared of that? How can I avoid things being awkward? Obviously I know not everyone will like me but I don’t want to be lonely

Hi Anonymous,

I think this is a worry that everybody has before university but obviously I understand that given the present situation you may be more worried. In my experience, I have never heard of a student not getting along with ANY of their flatmates so I can only assume this is an incredibly rare occurance. I think as long as you are friendly, relatively tidy and polite then you will be more than okay. Everyone is in the same position so theyre probably just as nervous as you are, even if they havent vocalsied it!

Best of luck and I hope you have a lovely time!

Millie
Student Rep

Reply 3

University of Portsmouth Student Rep

Official Rep

16

Original post by Anonymous

I’m scared that I won’t get on with my flat mates and it’ll be a nightmare considering they’re the only people Ill get to socialise with for a while as most classes are online as well as societies also you can’t meet with more than 6 ppl now. Anybody else scared of that? How can I avoid things being awkward? Obviously I know not everyone will like me but I don’t want to be lonely

Hiya!

I felt the same in first year about my flatmates but definitely don't push away your housemates before you have properly met them. I was quick to judge in first year with my 8 other housemates as I stalked them on facebook before and tried to see what they were like- which basically everyone else did as well! However, I have ended up living with them in my second and third year and have become super close with them all. It will be different when you do meet them in person and if they aren't your cup of tea then at least you can say that you tried. I recommend taking a door stop to uni and having an "open door policy" with your housemates so you can leave your door open and then your housemates can come into your room if you want for a chat, whereas when your door is shut others will now you're having some time on your own. I found this really easy to get to know my housemates as others did the same thing, it just gets rid of the awkward trying to get to know you chat!

Also look for free things to do in your area, like parks, art gallery's or beaches (if you're at a coastal uni) to go with you housemates, or friends you have made through your course (e.g. if you started chatting to them during a virtual seminar, or if you sat next to them on your induction perhaps) so you can get to know them but also your local area.

I would recommend going to the free trial and taster sessions that your societies provide as this puts you with others who have a similar interest to you, and if you end up not liking the society then you won't be out of pocket from it. I know it may now be limited due to the up to 6 people limit but societies will be aware of this and make sure if they are doing things virtually or face to face that it is as safe as possible and following guidelines.

Have a look on your university's career page for internal jobs (like working as an Ambassador which is what i do, its great pay and is very flexible!) but also external jobs in the local area that aren't always posted on other job sites like Indeed. This is a great way to meet other students but also those of a similar age who aren't students at the uni but live in the area.

Keep in contact with your family and friends at home or friends who have gone to different unis, they'll be needing support from you as much as you need from them :smile:

Best of luck at uni! Sam- Official Student Rep

Original post by Anonymous

I’m scared that I won’t get on with my flat mates and it’ll be a nightmare considering they’re the only people Ill get to socialise with for a while as most classes are online as well as societies also you can’t meet with more than 6 ppl now. Anybody else scared of that? How can I avoid things being awkward? Obviously I know not everyone will like me but I don’t want to be lonely

Hi there,

It's very common for people to be worried about living with new flatmates and this year, with Covid, I am sure this will be even more common. However despite all the downsides of the situation, it may actually help you to bond with your new flatmates as you are forced to spend more time together, socialise, and build friendships. Just like Millie said in this thread, it's very very unlikely that you won't get on with all of your flatmates. Even if there are one or two people that you find you clash with, you will almost always find someone who is on the same wavelength as you. As long as you all communicate any problems you find and you work together to overcome them, then things should run smoothly. Normally any arguments that occur will involve trivial things such as kitchen/shared areas cleanliness, or noise complaints etc. These are easily solved by implementing cleaning rotas, or coming to compromises. It's important to remember that just because somebody's actions around the flat may be irritating (such as uncleanliness or noisiness) doesn't mean that you have to fall out/ not get along with them as a person. As long as you calmly and reasonably discuss any issues, then there is no reason why you can't still be good friends as well as solving the problems! :smile:

It also works both ways, and just like Aimee9675 said, make sure you stay calm and collected if people approach you with complaints.

In terms of socialising in your flat, perhaps bring some fun board/card games like Cards Against Humanity, Exploding Kittens etc. The JackBox Party Pack (you will need to host on a PC or console) is also a super funny game pack to play with new flatmates and get everyone laughing!

I hope this helps and if you'd like to talk to me or some of our other current students about Uni life, then please feel free to message us on UniBuddy.
Lauren :smile:

Third Year Animation Student and Student Ambassador

Scared that I won’t get on with my flatmates

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