The Student Room Group

Friends with flat mates

Help
My flat consists entirely of extroverts and I’m just an introvert who can’t make friends with them 😭😭
I feel like they hate when I’m around and I’m scared to use the communal areas and all
Will it get better 😭
Original post by Anonymous
Help
My flat consists entirely of extroverts and I’m just an introvert who can’t make friends with them 😭😭
I feel like they hate when I’m around and I’m scared to use the communal areas and all
Will it get better 😭


Yes, it will get better.

i am sure they do not hate you at all! im sure they are interested in getting to know you

coming from an introvert, don't avoid communal areas when you need to go to them. find a method to control your fear. maybe take deep breaths? tell yourself it will be ok? or look online to find some conversation starters for flatmates?

or perhaps try to firstly hang out with 1 or 2 flatmates in communal areas, then when youre comfortable/ like them you can hang out with more

but its important to remember: you dont HAVE to be good friends with your flatmates. you can meet other people in your lectures/ societies etc
Original post by Anonymous
Help
My flat consists entirely of extroverts and I’m just an introvert who can’t make friends with them 😭😭
I feel like they hate when I’m around and I’m scared to use the communal areas and all
Will it get better 😭

Hi there!

I've been in a similar situation myself so here's my advice...

Just because you may be quieter than your flat mates doesn't mean you all can't be friends.

You may find that a lot of your flat mates and fresher's are louder and more extroverted when they first start university as everyone is trying so hard to make friends and be seen, so please don't see your introverted nature as a negative thing.

Also, you all pay the same rent for the same accommodation so you are all valid to use the accommodation. I sometimes felt awkward being in the kitchen with my flat mates as we often wouldn't talk or they would have friends over. But, it's your flat too, and adding in the occasional "hi, you okay?" or asking them how uni is going may be all that is needed to start building friendships with them.

I would give it some time for everyone to settle in and see how things go. But try to focus on building some friendships with them, even if it takes a bit of time. You'll get there.

Best of luck.
Emily
Student Ambassador at BCU

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