I am terrified of losing my virginity, advice?

I am 24 years old and a woman.
I've been in 2 relationships and still not managed to go there.
The older I get the harder it is to feel this way because the men I date are used to and expect an active sex life to be a part of dating. It automatically makes me incompatible with everyone I meet even if we are a great match on all other levels but they're never willing to enter in a, to them, unfulfilling relationship.

I suffer from anxiety and I have problems with expressing my emotions. I don't really feel comfortable with any form of intimacy which has caused even more problems as it's possible some guys i've dated could've been patient with the sex-part if I told them how I felt. I'm more one to crack jokes and the rest of the time i'm quiet. I don't really talk much unless I know someone really well and the shyness isn't as intense. I just feel really embarrassed when getting too personal with anyone and sex is as close as you can physically get to another person. So it's both that and my fear that it will hurt and/or be absolutely awful and how the guy will react to that. What can I do is there anything I can do on my own? I've already had therapy for anxiety once can't say it did much maybe i'm hopeless lol

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

heyy, i’m exactly the same as you, i don’t really express my emotions or feel comfortable with any sort of intimacy, quite shy and i’m VERY quiet around other people! i was worried too and i’ve only ever been in one relationship, which is the one i’m in now, just know you don’t need to do anything if you don’t want to, if it’s the right guy they will wait with no problems, and if not then they’re not ‘the one’! i’d say if it’s someone you’re really comfortable with, all that anxiety and embarrassment goes away, my boyfriend was so caring about it and still is! i’ve been with him since 2018 and we didn’t do anything until early 2020 and he didn’t mind, luckily for me it didn’t really hurt so you might be the same :smile: