Online dating for men compared to women, wow.
I've been on a few dating sites for a while now and have yet to find somebody right for me. For a start, 95% of girls on there just don't interest me whatsoever, they just seem so generic and 'samey'doesn't seem to be much genuinity there. I get messaged fairly regularly but rarely by anybody I'd really like to talk with.
I was curious about how the online dating experience varies between men vs women, and also wanted a little insight into the male 'competition'. I created a quick fake female account, with a few pictures that I found online of somebody who I deemed to be very average looking. Like, she's attractive...but I think the majority of men on the site would find her averagely so.
Anyway, before I could even complete the profile setup, I already had 2 messages. Within 10 minutes, about 5 more. I didn't respond to any or initiate any conversations myself, I just sat back and observed. I set my phone aside and got on with some coursework and returned to the app about 5 hours later to check.
Here's what I had. Countless likes, about 50 messages and as soon as I logged on I was getting another message every few minutes or so. I scoped out the received messages and they ranged from a simple "Hey beautiful x" to pretty long winded and well thought through introductions.
I'm a reasonably attractive male, educated, drive, and I think I have a pretty good bio and I thought the amount of messages I receive on my account weren't too bad, maybe 5 per week or so. Not tooting my own horn at all, just saying. But this...this is crazy. A pretty average looking female and a practically empty bio, and within 5 hours I had more messages than I could possibly ever respond to if I wished to.
It's making me think whether to just pack in online dating because it's just ridiculous. There's barely any point in sending a message to a girl because not only is it likely just going to be lost within dozens of others, but there is so much competition that I really just can't be bothered to compete for a girl to give me attention like it's a ****ing game/sport. I didn't realise how easy girls had it in the online dating game, even if you have no interest in dating you could create a profile and just sit back and enjoy the validation that comes from hundreds of men showing interest and complimenting you.
I really just can't be bothered with it. I'm not suggesting that it's 'unfair', but if that's really how it is then screw it...I'd rather just wait for something to click with somebody in the physical world.
I was curious about how the online dating experience varies between men vs women, and also wanted a little insight into the male 'competition'. I created a quick fake female account, with a few pictures that I found online of somebody who I deemed to be very average looking. Like, she's attractive...but I think the majority of men on the site would find her averagely so.
Anyway, before I could even complete the profile setup, I already had 2 messages. Within 10 minutes, about 5 more. I didn't respond to any or initiate any conversations myself, I just sat back and observed. I set my phone aside and got on with some coursework and returned to the app about 5 hours later to check.
Here's what I had. Countless likes, about 50 messages and as soon as I logged on I was getting another message every few minutes or so. I scoped out the received messages and they ranged from a simple "Hey beautiful x" to pretty long winded and well thought through introductions.
I'm a reasonably attractive male, educated, drive, and I think I have a pretty good bio and I thought the amount of messages I receive on my account weren't too bad, maybe 5 per week or so. Not tooting my own horn at all, just saying. But this...this is crazy. A pretty average looking female and a practically empty bio, and within 5 hours I had more messages than I could possibly ever respond to if I wished to.
It's making me think whether to just pack in online dating because it's just ridiculous. There's barely any point in sending a message to a girl because not only is it likely just going to be lost within dozens of others, but there is so much competition that I really just can't be bothered to compete for a girl to give me attention like it's a ****ing game/sport. I didn't realise how easy girls had it in the online dating game, even if you have no interest in dating you could create a profile and just sit back and enjoy the validation that comes from hundreds of men showing interest and complimenting you.
I really just can't be bothered with it. I'm not suggesting that it's 'unfair', but if that's really how it is then screw it...I'd rather just wait for something to click with somebody in the physical world.
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Original post by Forestieri
I've been on a few dating sites for a while now and have yet to find somebody right for me. For a start, 95% of girls on there just don't interest me whatsoever, they just seem so generic and 'samey'doesn't seem to be much genuinity there. I get messaged fairly regularly but rarely by anybody I'd really like to talk with.
I was curious about how the online dating experience varies between men vs women, and also wanted a little insight into the male 'competition'. I created a quick fake female account, with a few pictures that I found online of somebody who I deemed to be very average looking. Like, she's attractive...but I think the majority of men on the site would find her averagely so.
Anyway, before I could even complete the profile setup, I already had 2 messages. Within 10 minutes, about 5 more. I didn't respond to any or initiate any conversations myself, I just sat back and observed. I set my phone aside and got on with some coursework and returned to the app about 5 hours later to check.
Here's what I had. Countless likes, about 50 messages and as soon as I logged on I was getting another message every few minutes or so. I scoped out the received messages and they ranged from a simple "Hey beautiful x" to pretty long winded and well thought through introductions.
I'm a reasonably attractive male, educated, drive, and I think I have a pretty good bio and I thought the amount of messages I receive on my account weren't too bad, maybe 5 per week or so. Not tooting my own horn at all, just saying. But this...this is crazy. A pretty average looking female and a practically empty bio, and within 5 hours I had more messages than I could possibly ever respond to if I wished to.
It's making me think whether to just pack in online dating because it's just ridiculous. There's barely any point in sending a message to a girl because not only is it likely just going to be lost within dozens of others, but there is so much competition that I really just can't be bothered to compete for a girl to give me attention like it's a ****ing game/sport. I didn't realise how easy girls had it in the online dating game, even if you have no interest in dating you could create a profile and just sit back and enjoy the validation that comes from hundreds of men showing interest and complimenting you.
I really just can't be bothered with it. I'm not suggesting that it's 'unfair', but if that's really how it is then screw it...I'd rather just wait for something to click with somebody in the physical world.
I was curious about how the online dating experience varies between men vs women, and also wanted a little insight into the male 'competition'. I created a quick fake female account, with a few pictures that I found online of somebody who I deemed to be very average looking. Like, she's attractive...but I think the majority of men on the site would find her averagely so.
Anyway, before I could even complete the profile setup, I already had 2 messages. Within 10 minutes, about 5 more. I didn't respond to any or initiate any conversations myself, I just sat back and observed. I set my phone aside and got on with some coursework and returned to the app about 5 hours later to check.
Here's what I had. Countless likes, about 50 messages and as soon as I logged on I was getting another message every few minutes or so. I scoped out the received messages and they ranged from a simple "Hey beautiful x" to pretty long winded and well thought through introductions.
I'm a reasonably attractive male, educated, drive, and I think I have a pretty good bio and I thought the amount of messages I receive on my account weren't too bad, maybe 5 per week or so. Not tooting my own horn at all, just saying. But this...this is crazy. A pretty average looking female and a practically empty bio, and within 5 hours I had more messages than I could possibly ever respond to if I wished to.
It's making me think whether to just pack in online dating because it's just ridiculous. There's barely any point in sending a message to a girl because not only is it likely just going to be lost within dozens of others, but there is so much competition that I really just can't be bothered to compete for a girl to give me attention like it's a ****ing game/sport. I didn't realise how easy girls had it in the online dating game, even if you have no interest in dating you could create a profile and just sit back and enjoy the validation that comes from hundreds of men showing interest and complimenting you.
I really just can't be bothered with it. I'm not suggesting that it's 'unfair', but if that's really how it is then screw it...I'd rather just wait for something to click with somebody in the physical world.
Stop the online dating and get out of the house. It's guaranteed you would be much more successful. Unless you are incredibly ugly like a hobbit...
Original post by Lucifer323
Stop the online dating and get out of the house. It's guaranteed you would be much more successful. Unless you are incredibly ugly like a hobbit...
Nah I'm probably like, a 7.5/10 when I put in the effort and my past relationships have all come from meeting in person. It's just pretty tough thinking how/where to meet suitable girls...finishing uni next month and moving to start a new job so maybe could meet somebody through work but idk.
females do get a lot of male attention on dating apps, but how many of those men would they actually be willing to date?
Original post by Forestieri
Nah I'm probably like, a 7.5/10 when I put in the effort and my past relationships have all come from meeting in person. It's just pretty tough thinking how/where to meet suitable girls...finishing uni next month and moving to start a new job so maybe could meet somebody through work but idk.
Yes ok. It's always best in the real world. Online dating is for those who don't have much experience from life and not much success either. Plus it's not real.
V
Yea I'm not saying that they have the requirement to respond...not at all. But from the male perspective, it's just pretty demotivating to know that this is what you're up against. I think In a list of 50 messages I would probably be in the more likeable ones and more likely to receive a response but it's just the whole psychology of it... that the female is the desirable one, that you need to prove your worth to and impress. I know that's natural but... online it just seems like a game that I can't be bothered with.
Yea I'm not saying that they have the requirement to respond...not at all. But from the male perspective, it's just pretty demotivating to know that this is what you're up against. I think In a list of 50 messages I would probably be in the more likeable ones and more likely to receive a response but it's just the whole psychology of it... that the female is the desirable one, that you need to prove your worth to and impress. I know that's natural but... online it just seems like a game that I can't be bothered with.
Original post by Forestieri
V
Yea I'm not saying that they have the requirement to respond...not at all. But from the male perspective, it's just pretty demotivating to know that this is what you're up against. I think In a list of 50 messages I would probably be in the more likeable ones and more likely to receive a response but it's just the whole psychology of it... that the female is the desirable one, that you need to prove your worth to and impress. I know that's natural but... online it just seems like a game that I can't be bothered with.
Yea I'm not saying that they have the requirement to respond...not at all. But from the male perspective, it's just pretty demotivating to know that this is what you're up against. I think In a list of 50 messages I would probably be in the more likeable ones and more likely to receive a response but it's just the whole psychology of it... that the female is the desirable one, that you need to prove your worth to and impress. I know that's natural but... online it just seems like a game that I can't be bothered with.
Take my word for it. All these are mostly waste of time. I have never used any as I am from the old school of thinking and doing. Go to a bar or nightclub and your chances will expand geometrically. Most clubbers are either single or gagging for it big time.
really good point and i never thought of it like that. most women dont have this abundance of eligible-ish men irl because they have limited friend groups and actual responsibilities. dating apps open their pool to every somewhat good looking dude who is worth swiping right for. that turns dating from somewhat pro woman to enormously pro woman. in the real world women can consider and turn down like what 3 dudes in a night?. but online women can turn down 100
good point. though the counter-point is that these apps make attractive ppl and esp attractive women overly selective and superficial
Original post by Anonymous
females do get a lot of male attention on dating apps, but how many of those men would they actually be willing to date?
good point. though the counter-point is that these apps make attractive ppl and esp attractive women overly selective and superficial
Original post by Forestieri
It's making me think whether to just pack in online dating because it's just ridiculous. There's barely any point in sending a message to a girl because not only is it likely just going to be lost within dozens of others, but there is so much competition that I really just can't be bothered to compete for a girl to give me attention like it's a ****ing game/sport. I didn't realise how easy girls had it in the online dating game, even if you have no interest in dating you could create a profile and just sit back and enjoy the validation that comes from hundreds of men showing interest and complimenting you.
this is a king move. dont play the game if you think it's rigged. also dont waste your time on ppl who are patently disinterested. i guess irl is easier because you can end a **** date early or stop talking to someone if they seem visibly not into you. online you have to keep shooting your shot and it rarely works
my exp is that good long term relationships arise when you least expect them to. with ppl who you never expected to meet. i guess its different if ur a desperate male looking for sex/hookups tho
Original post by EU Yakov
this is a king move. dont play the game if you think it's rigged. also dont waste your time on ppl who are patently disinterested. i guess irl is easier because you can end a **** date early or stop talking to someone if they seem visibly not into you. online you have to keep shooting your shot and it rarely works
my exp is that good long term relationships arise when you least expect them to. with ppl who you never expected to meet. i guess its different if ur a desperate male looking for sex/hookups tho
my exp is that good long term relationships arise when you least expect them to. with ppl who you never expected to meet. i guess its different if ur a desperate male looking for sex/hookups tho
As I said to the above user never use these apps. Go to a bar or nightclub and your chances will expand geometrically. Clubbers are well known for being single and gagging for it.
I'd love to have their "problem" anytime. I probably need it more than they do. Everyone should know how empowering and uplifting that is.
Original post by EU Yakov
this is a king move. dont play the game if you think it's rigged. also dont waste your time on ppl who are patently disinterested. i guess irl is easier because you can end a **** date early or stop talking to someone if they seem visibly not into you. online you have to keep shooting your shot and it rarely works
my exp is that good long term relationships arise when you least expect them to. with ppl who you never expected to meet. i guess its different if ur a desperate male looking for sex/hookups tho
my exp is that good long term relationships arise when you least expect them to. with ppl who you never expected to meet. i guess its different if ur a desperate male looking for sex/hookups tho
Yea that's so true. Each of my relationships have come when I least expected them to, out of chance encounter. Also, I'm looking for a genuine relationship rather than a hook up so it kinda makes it even tougher because girls likely assume that you're just thirsty and wanna get your leg over.
Original post by Forestieri
Yea that's so true. Each of my relationships have come when I least expected them to, out of chance encounter. Also, I'm looking for a genuine relationship rather than a hook up so it kinda makes it even tougher because girls likely assume that you're just thirsty and wanna get your leg over.
You used to have relationships? At least you have the experience, and you can use it to up your chances in dating. You can do it better than someone with a blank slate (like me
).What I mean is that if they don't want that happening to them, they could always give it to me if that's possible, but it isn't. Only a miracle can do that for me perhaps.
Original post by SlaveofAll
You used to have relationships? At least you have the experience, and you can use it to up your chances in dating. You can do it better than someone with a blank slate (like me ).
).Yea I have a lot of experience and spent 4 years with a Polish lingerie model who was 6 years older than me, no word of a lie...
I'm confident with women, I just struggle to find my type online so it seems pointless.
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by Forestieri
Yea I have a lot of experience and spent 4 years with a Polish lingerie model who was 6 years older than me, no word of a lie...
I'm confident with women, I just struggle to find my type online so it seems pointless.
I'm confident with women, I just struggle to find my type online so it seems pointless.
It's a big world out there for us, you know, so finding the right fit for us is like finding a needle in a haystack.
you sound pretty shallow and are hating the fact that no lookers are hitting you up because you think you're something special. thats the main reason why it hurts you so much. lower your standards and be grateful for what you can get. the only reason why many men message the average looking chick is because the average man is thinking with his manhood only. men are on dating sites for sex, women are on there for proper relationships. and no woman wants a shallow stuck up guy who thinks hes God's gift to be our boyfriend.
Original post by Anonymous
you sound pretty shallow and are hating the fact that no lookers are hitting you up because you think you're something special. thats the main reason why it hurts you so much. lower your standards and be grateful for what you can get. the only reason why many men message the average looking chick is because the average man is thinking with his manhood only. men are on dating sites for sex, women are on there for proper relationships. and no woman wants a shallow stuck up guy who thinks hes God's gift to be our boyfriend.
Yeah, different interests make for misunderstandings most of time, but does one side have to adjust to the other side's demands at one's own expense? It doesn't to be that way, and it'll be nice if both desires are met and satisfied.
Original post by Forestieri
Yea I have a lot of experience and spent 4 years with a Polish lingerie model, no word of a lie...
I'm confident with women, I just struggle to find my type online so it seems pointless.
I'm confident with women, I just struggle to find my type online so it seems pointless.
Original post by Anonymous
you sound pretty shallow and are hating the fact that no lookers are hitting you up because you think you're something special. thats the main reason why it hurts you so much. lower your standards and be grateful for what you can get. the only reason why many men message the average looking chick is because the average man is thinking with his manhood only. men are on dating sites for sex, women are on there for proper relationships. and no woman wants a shallow stuck up guy who thinks hes God's gift to be our boyfriend.
Lmao, you couldn't be any further from the truth. In what way have I suggested that I'm "gods gift to women"? Because I regard myself as reasonably attractive and confident? I'm just being realistic, I'm not ugly and have had very attractive partners before, been complimented a lot. I'm actually pretty humble as anything.
And secondly, I'm not on there for sex. I legit couldn't care less for sex. I'm looking for a genuine partner and I swipe left on 95% of girls because they just seem too fake and pretentious, I like natural girls, who have genuinity about them and a bit of individuality and not looking like they're applying to be on the next series of Love Island.
Don't assume something about me based on a post...you were so off the target it's laughable really.
(edited 2 years ago)
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