20 and never had a boyfriend

I’m a 20 F and I have never had a boyfriend. I’ve slept with 4 people but I can’t seem to find someone to have a connection with. I’m on tinder & hinge (tried bumble but didn’t like it) and I can’t seem to find anyone who wants to get to know me or wants to know more about me. It’s just kind of the initial small talk and just fizzles out. I don’t know if dating apps are for me but I’m just on there to just chat and see if I find anyone. I’m not desperate to find a boyfriend but even just hookups, I’m not really into just going to someone’s house, having sex and being done I feel like it would just be a bit awkward at first. Am I overthinking things too much? I feel like I’m person conversations just flow better because you bounce off each and maybe that’s difficult over text?

Reply 1

Doomotron

18

Dating apps aren't very good. Since you've slept with people surely that's a good sign some connection can be made? If you're struggling to find people who can connect with you then that's almost certainly because of the people, not you - somewhere there will be someone who can connect with you.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Most of the time when you’re on them dating apps, the people on them put no effort into their convos. They only got time for small talk and stuff. No time to actually chat to you.

Reply 3

Wonderland2000

7

I agree with the person above, dating apps are crap. Many people on there aren't looking for a connection, and have trust and commitment issues. Best to spend time with your friends go out and enjoy life and you are likely to meet someone and something will start that way naturally.
If you still want to be on dating apps, definitely won't recommend going to strangers houses, this usually means they want one thing I think. It is best to go on dates with people, talk alot on the phone, and if they start being rude and asking for x then block and delete. Just take time and you will find someone, I promise there is nothing wrong with you :smile:

Reply 4

Doomotron

18

Original post by Wonderland2000

I agree with the person above, dating apps are crap. Many people on there aren't looking for a connection, and have trust and commitment issues. Best to spend time with your friends go out and enjoy life and you are likely to meet someone and something will start that way naturally.
If you still want to be on dating apps, definitely won't recommend going to strangers houses, this usually means they want one thing I think. It is best to go on dates with people, talk alot on the phone, and if they start being rude and asking for x then block and delete. Just take time and you will find someone, I promise there is nothing wrong with you :smile:

Definitely. I think the OP should stick to the real world for dating. It's just a better bet.

Reply 5

Zarek

21

Give up on dating apps and go with more sociable options to meet people, going out with friends, hobbies etc.

Reply 6

Adz2042

18

Dating apps are more to connecting with people based on their pictures, not so much who the person really is.
Maybe write down your hobbies on some paper, then look on social media for groups/societies in your area that you can join.
Go to any meetups they have, and then chat to people with the same interests as you.

Reply 7

Ammar Waqar

2

Original post by Anonymous

I’m a 20 F and I have never had a boyfriend. I’ve slept with 4 people but I can’t seem to find someone to have a connection with. I’m on tinder & hinge (tried bumble but didn’t like it) and I can’t seem to find anyone who wants to get to know me or wants to know more about me. It’s just kind of the initial small talk and just fizzles out. I don’t know if dating apps are for me but I’m just on there to just chat and see if I find anyone. I’m not desperate to find a boyfriend but even just hookups, I’m not really into just going to someone’s house, having sex and being done I feel like it would just be a bit awkward at first. Am I overthinking things too much? I feel like I’m person conversations just flow better because you bounce off each and maybe that’s difficult over text?

Iam here to talk and not interested in being a boyfriend right away ,just like your way of saying “ conversations are important “just new here want to know people and be more social

Reply 8

Anonymous #3

Well firstly, the majority of people that use dating apps only ever want to sleep with people and move on to their next match. So, I don't think dating apps is where you'll find someone serious but I cannot speak for everyone on the app.
Maybe just getting out there more, in person will be best. Meeting new people in places is fun! Casual dating, perhaps. Casual dating is good because you learn more about yourself... what you like and what you don't.
But in general, everything will fall into place. Sometimes, you just have to let it happen and be patient. Don't force anything. Don't know if you're religious or not, but God has a plan for everyone. Be patient.
Good luck!

Reply 9

H8Courtship217

10

so just casual sex only?

Reply 10

Jayz_CS1750

5

Original post by Anonymous

I’m a 20 F and I have never had a boyfriend. I’ve slept with 4 people but I can’t seem to find someone to have a connection with. I’m on tinder & hinge (tried bumble but didn’t like it) and I can’t seem to find anyone who wants to get to know me or wants to know more about me. It’s just kind of the initial small talk and just fizzles out. I don’t know if dating apps are for me but I’m just on there to just chat and see if I find anyone. I’m not desperate to find a boyfriend but even just hookups, I’m not really into just going to someone’s house, having sex and being done I feel like it would just be a bit awkward at first. Am I overthinking things too much? I feel like I’m person conversations just flow better because you bounce off each and maybe that’s difficult over text?

As a guy on there, I can say that women receives 100s of matches per day or per week compared to men who maybe gets 10. This (hopefully) does fizzle down to 50 vs 10 if you are on Bumble or Hinge but still, the odds are against men.

As someone who does place physical and aesthetic attraction first, I understand why I may not be chosen eventhough I share my profile and curate it somewhat (although in the swiping community, they don't read your profile unfortunately unless they have time in their hands)

I am one of the rare ones who just want to meet people for connections as I am new to the city and as much as there is libido at play, I won't be able to get along with someone who has 0 common interests with me regardless of how attractive they are.

That being said, societies and clubs can be helpful (as someone who is swamped by their real life job though, it is tough.)

Reply 11

username6117733

5

Original post by Anonymous

I’m a 20 F and I have never had a boyfriend. I’ve slept with 4 people but I can’t seem to find someone to have a connection with. I’m on tinder & hinge (tried bumble but didn’t like it) and I can’t seem to find anyone who wants to get to know me or wants to know more about me. It’s just kind of the initial small talk and just fizzles out. I don’t know if dating apps are for me but I’m just on there to just chat and see if I find anyone. I’m not desperate to find a boyfriend but even just hookups, I’m not really into just going to someone’s house, having sex and being done I feel like it would just be a bit awkward at first. Am I overthinking things too much? I feel like I’m person conversations just flow better because you bounce off each and maybe that’s difficult over text?

I feel yo

20 and never had a boyfriend

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