Friends made from necessity and issues stemming from that

Hi,
Sounds like you're having a pretty tough time at the moment and I can really sympathise with that, being at the end of my drama-filled secondary school/sixth form years.

I'd like to ask first of all why you felt it was necessary to create this new personality for yourself? This seems to be the root of your issue. You say you are an extroverted person so why not start being more yourself around school? I have no idea how old you are/the situation at your school and I know it can be very cliquey. But if you feel comfortable, try to branch out and speak to new people e.g. people you sit next to in lessons, people in your form group, people at clubs or friends of friends. This could be a way to make new friends who see you as the person that you are.

If you feel that's not going to work, maybe try to slowly start being more yourself around your current friends and see how they react. You shouldn't need to create a whole personality, especially around people you consider your friends. Maybe you could even have a chat with the friend you actually like and tell them how you're feeling and see how that goes. If they really are a nice person then they should want to help you.

If you don't feel like either of those options would work, I would not advise telling your friends that you don't want to see them outside of school, unless you feel you can be honest and tell them how socially drained you're feeling. If you don't give them a reason that you don't like hanging out with them, they might take it the wrong way and you definitely don't want to hurt their feelings.

I really hope this helps, ask any questions you want abt school/friendships etc, and keep me updated!

If you feel that's not going to work, maybe try to slowly start being more yourself around your current friends and see how they react. You shouldn't need to create a whole personality, especially around people you consider your friends.

If you don't feel like either of those options would work, I would not advise telling your friends that you don't want to see them outside of school, unless you feel you can be honest and tell them how socially drained you're feeling. If you don't give them a reason that you don't like hanging out with them, they might take it the wrong way and you definitely don't want to hurt their feelings.

I agree about trying to speak to new people. I was in a similar situation and I felt trapped in a friend group. I started to branch out to another friend group in my form group, explaining to my friends that it's nothing to do with them and they didn't do anything wrong, but I just wanted to try and be more social with other groups. They understood.

I made friends with these girls because I would otherwise be all alone at school which is sad. however, i don't actually like one of my friends and i prefer the other one.

recently, theyve been bugging me about how I don't spend time with them outside of school (been to their houses once, each). im a pretty extroverted person so this just worries them more.

but really, i'm a completely different person at school. i act different and basically have this made up personality just to get by and survive at school. naturally, it is draining me mentally and I already struggle with my mental health so this just adds more strain to it.

i dont want to go out with them because of how exhausting it is for me to keep up appearances and pretend to be someone im not. not to mention that i dont even like them that much in the first place.

how do i let them know not to expect me to meet them outside of school? in a nice way. i dont want to lose them, i literally have no other friends.

Firstly, thanks for your detailed response. It really helped me assess my situation from an objective point of view. I will try to be more myself and I think I will tell them how socially drained I'm feeling. I honestly don't know how they'll react; I'm slightly scared that they'll question why I would feel 'drained' around people I'm friends with. But I'm hoping that they'll just drop the subject all together after I tell them.

Thanks again.