The future scares me and I no longer know what to do
Hi,
I'm a UK law student wanting to becoming a corporate solicitor one day. I took a gap year during my a levels due to ill health. Then, I went off to university at 19. I was r*ped that year and became very depressed which led me to repeating the year. I am now realising that I hate my degree and I do not enjoy this university. It triggers me and I want a fresh start elsewhere. However, I am now 21. It scares me to that when all my friends are graduating and moving into work, l'll be restarting a whole new degree course at a whole new university.
I'm scared l'll be judged. I'll graduate at 24 and it normally takes another 2-3 years to qualify. So I will not be a qualified solicitor until 27. Is this bad? I'm just so confused and upset. I wish I had never stayed at this university and went elsewhere. I just have so many regrets. Any advice?
I'm a UK law student wanting to becoming a corporate solicitor one day. I took a gap year during my a levels due to ill health. Then, I went off to university at 19. I was r*ped that year and became very depressed which led me to repeating the year. I am now realising that I hate my degree and I do not enjoy this university. It triggers me and I want a fresh start elsewhere. However, I am now 21. It scares me to that when all my friends are graduating and moving into work, l'll be restarting a whole new degree course at a whole new university.
I'm scared l'll be judged. I'll graduate at 24 and it normally takes another 2-3 years to qualify. So I will not be a qualified solicitor until 27. Is this bad? I'm just so confused and upset. I wish I had never stayed at this university and went elsewhere. I just have so many regrets. Any advice?
Original post by Retttnoul
Hi,
I'm a UK law student wanting to becoming a corporate solicitor one day. I took a gap year during my a levels due to ill health. Then, I went off to university at 19. I was r*ped that year and became very depressed which led me to repeating the year. I am now realising that I hate my degree and I do not enjoy this university. It triggers me and I want a fresh start elsewhere. However, I am now 21. It scares me to that when all my friends are graduating and moving into work, l'll be restarting a whole new degree course at a whole new university.
I'm scared l'll be judged. I'll graduate at 24 and it normally takes another 2-3 years to qualify. So I will not be a qualified solicitor until 27. Is this bad? I'm just so confused and upset. I wish I had never stayed at this university and went elsewhere. I just have so many regrets. Any advice?
I'm a UK law student wanting to becoming a corporate solicitor one day. I took a gap year during my a levels due to ill health. Then, I went off to university at 19. I was r*ped that year and became very depressed which led me to repeating the year. I am now realising that I hate my degree and I do not enjoy this university. It triggers me and I want a fresh start elsewhere. However, I am now 21. It scares me to that when all my friends are graduating and moving into work, l'll be restarting a whole new degree course at a whole new university.
I'm scared l'll be judged. I'll graduate at 24 and it normally takes another 2-3 years to qualify. So I will not be a qualified solicitor until 27. Is this bad? I'm just so confused and upset. I wish I had never stayed at this university and went elsewhere. I just have so many regrets. Any advice?
Hi, firstly, want to say it completely makes sense why you’ve taken breaks, it’s hard to work when your mental health is deteriorating especially after what happened to you. I suggest if you haven’t already, you should get professional help, just to talk to somebody really, I’m so sorry this happened to you. As for the age thing, I would look at it like if you were older with a family or whatever you want to achieve, when you look back down the line at your life and think about uni you won’t think about what age you graduated you’d only think about how you graduated you’d only talk about how you graduated because nothing else really matters. There are people at my university who are 26 in their first year and some who are 58 and have had an entire life (imo) but they’re still trying to pursue some passion they weren’t able to before, right now you have the opportunity to pursue yours even if it isn’t on this timeline that the people around you are on, it’s pretty common not to follow the same path as everyone and to feel as though you are somehow falling behind, you should know that most people your age probably feel like that because everyone has milestones in their head and when someone around them completes it before them they tend to feel they lack something when usually it’s just something that happened cause they didn’t have any ‘roadblocks’ at that time, it’s completely normal and your time will come, I mean it already has (as in going to uni) and with age comes maturity (sometimes) so you have the advantage of a more mature mindset where you can focus more on studies than partying and maybe trying to fit in like some of us do. Hope this helps and I wish you the best.
Original post by Retttnoul
Hi,
I'm a UK law student wanting to becoming a corporate solicitor one day. I took a gap year during my a levels due to ill health. Then, I went off to university at 19. I was r*ped that year and became very depressed which led me to repeating the year. I am now realising that I hate my degree and I do not enjoy this university. It triggers me and I want a fresh start elsewhere. However, I am now 21. It scares me to that when all my friends are graduating and moving into work, l'll be restarting a whole new degree course at a whole new university.
I'm scared l'll be judged. I'll graduate at 24 and it normally takes another 2-3 years to qualify. So I will not be a qualified solicitor until 27. Is this bad? I'm just so confused and upset. I wish I had never stayed at this university and went elsewhere. I just have so many regrets. Any advice?
I'm a UK law student wanting to becoming a corporate solicitor one day. I took a gap year during my a levels due to ill health. Then, I went off to university at 19. I was r*ped that year and became very depressed which led me to repeating the year. I am now realising that I hate my degree and I do not enjoy this university. It triggers me and I want a fresh start elsewhere. However, I am now 21. It scares me to that when all my friends are graduating and moving into work, l'll be restarting a whole new degree course at a whole new university.
I'm scared l'll be judged. I'll graduate at 24 and it normally takes another 2-3 years to qualify. So I will not be a qualified solicitor until 27. Is this bad? I'm just so confused and upset. I wish I had never stayed at this university and went elsewhere. I just have so many regrets. Any advice?
It's a long time to spend doing something you hate. Not everyone goes to uni at 18. I didn't start until I was 25 and am still on a training path at 34! But I absolutely love my career, so it was worth it. I still made a lot of friends during my studies and age wasn't an issue.
I'm sorry you've been through something so horrible and I hope you are able to make a decision that feels right for you.
Hi 
Firstly, I want to say how sorry I am that you've had such a terrible past few years. It sounds like you've had an awful ordeal, and the fact that you've persevered this far is a true testament to your inner strength. I, too, am in a similar situation. I was supposed to complete my A-levels in 2017, but due to developing crohn's disease I had to take several years out of education, which was very hard for me personally as I had dedicated years of my life to acquiring a place at my dream university and, by some miracle, received an offer, only to fall at the last hurdle.
Fast forward six years and I am finally well enough to start my studies this October. I'll also be a mature student at 23, and I am only all too familiar with the anguish of seeing all of your friends moving on to the next stage in life whilst you remain stuck in stasis. My advice to you would be to ask yourself if this is really what you want. Do you want to be a lawyer, or are you expected to become one? Do you genuinely want to go to uni, or do you want to fulfil external expectations? The only reason I've made it this far is because I have a genuine love for my subject. I don't think I could have persevered had I not been doing it for myself. If you do genuinely want to become a lawyer but have fears about being a bit of a late bloomer, career wise, then I completely understand. However, life doesn't have defined, time-sensitive, chapters and you'd be surprised by how many people are in the exact same boat. I wish you well, and hope you reach a decision that is best for you. Trauma is a big thing and shouldn't be underestimated, but also don't let the fear of society's expectations get in the way.
Firstly, I want to say how sorry I am that you've had such a terrible past few years. It sounds like you've had an awful ordeal, and the fact that you've persevered this far is a true testament to your inner strength. I, too, am in a similar situation. I was supposed to complete my A-levels in 2017, but due to developing crohn's disease I had to take several years out of education, which was very hard for me personally as I had dedicated years of my life to acquiring a place at my dream university and, by some miracle, received an offer, only to fall at the last hurdle.
Fast forward six years and I am finally well enough to start my studies this October. I'll also be a mature student at 23, and I am only all too familiar with the anguish of seeing all of your friends moving on to the next stage in life whilst you remain stuck in stasis. My advice to you would be to ask yourself if this is really what you want. Do you want to be a lawyer, or are you expected to become one? Do you genuinely want to go to uni, or do you want to fulfil external expectations? The only reason I've made it this far is because I have a genuine love for my subject. I don't think I could have persevered had I not been doing it for myself. If you do genuinely want to become a lawyer but have fears about being a bit of a late bloomer, career wise, then I completely understand. However, life doesn't have defined, time-sensitive, chapters and you'd be surprised by how many people are in the exact same boat. I wish you well, and hope you reach a decision that is best for you. Trauma is a big thing and shouldn't be underestimated, but also don't let the fear of society's expectations get in the way.
Original post by Retttnoul
Hi,
I'm a UK law student wanting to becoming a corporate solicitor one day. I took a gap year during my a levels due to ill health. Then, I went off to university at 19. I was r*ped that year and became very depressed which led me to repeating the year. I am now realising that I hate my degree and I do not enjoy this university. It triggers me and I want a fresh start elsewhere. However, I am now 21. It scares me to that when all my friends are graduating and moving into work, l'll be restarting a whole new degree course at a whole new university.
I'm scared l'll be judged. I'll graduate at 24 and it normally takes another 2-3 years to qualify. So I will not be a qualified solicitor until 27. Is this bad? I'm just so confused and upset. I wish I had never stayed at this university and went elsewhere. I just have so many regrets. Any advice?
I'm a UK law student wanting to becoming a corporate solicitor one day. I took a gap year during my a levels due to ill health. Then, I went off to university at 19. I was r*ped that year and became very depressed which led me to repeating the year. I am now realising that I hate my degree and I do not enjoy this university. It triggers me and I want a fresh start elsewhere. However, I am now 21. It scares me to that when all my friends are graduating and moving into work, l'll be restarting a whole new degree course at a whole new university.
I'm scared l'll be judged. I'll graduate at 24 and it normally takes another 2-3 years to qualify. So I will not be a qualified solicitor until 27. Is this bad? I'm just so confused and upset. I wish I had never stayed at this university and went elsewhere. I just have so many regrets. Any advice?
@Retttnoul
Hi, it is not unusual for people to qualify as a 'professional' in a field a little bit later, on my teacher training course of twenty or so people I was the second youngest at 25. Post graduate study was probably the happiest time of my academic life. I went on to do my masters when I was about 32 and apart from one other person I was the youngest on the program. Life takes many different twists and turns.
I would consider looking at a variety of options such as other careers and perhaps studying with either blended learning or 100% online with a provider like the Open University or Arden if you feel like your higher education experience has been tainted. I had a bad experience at one University and a new style of learning with new friends really helped me.
I am sorry to hear about your bad experience, I would certainly consider reaching out to student services at your current University if you feel like you need support. I certainly did in my student years and I still reach out for help and guidance too after being a qualified teacher for 10 years
Marc
Arden University Student Ambassador
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