The Student Room Group

So worried about sharing a bathroom in my second year uni house please give advice :(

I am a first year at uni and in september I will be moving into a house with 4 other girls (all of whom are my friends, but I don't know one of them that well). Recently I have starting feeling really anxious about sharing a bathroom - in our house we will have 2 between 5, both of which are next to the kitchen. I am scared that people will hear everything or I will have diarrhea or something and everyone will know. Also it would be more fine if I just had normal bowel movements but lately they have been looser/more frequent and sometimes I have had gas with them which would be soooo embarassing if that happened in the house. I have also been getting stomach ache. Could this be because I am so worried about it and overthinking my bowel movements that it has been causing these problems? Anyway if it is still like this in september I genuinely don't know what I will do - I'm so anxious about it can anyone give advice :frown:((
Its ok, we all get diarrhea sometimes. Just buy some supplies like air freshener and a toilet brush and it will all be fine. Plus if your all friends it should be fine. Just put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself 'would I really be that bothered if someone was having a hard time on the toilet?'. If your worried about being to loud just take your phone in with your and blast tiktoks or something on full volume, its very common for people to be scrolling on their phones while they're on the toilet. It might be awkward for a little bit but soon enough you'll get used to it and the people you're living with will become just like siblings.
Original post by Anonymous
I am a first year at uni and in september I will be moving into a house with 4 other girls (all of whom are my friends, but I don't know one of them that well). Recently I have starting feeling really anxious about sharing a bathroom - in our house we will have 2 between 5, both of which are next to the kitchen. I am scared that people will hear everything or I will have diarrhea or something and everyone will know. Also it would be more fine if I just had normal bowel movements but lately they have been looser/more frequent and sometimes I have had gas with them which would be soooo embarassing if that happened in the house. I have also been getting stomach ache. Could this be because I am so worried about it and overthinking my bowel movements that it has been causing these problems? Anyway if it is still like this in september I genuinely don't know what I will do - I'm so anxious about it can anyone give advice :frown:((

If you are feeling very anxious it can definitely effect your bowels and stomach.See if it settles down while you are at home over the summer.If it continues or gets worse then maybe get checked over by a gp.
Think about this logically. If one of you flatmates had diarrhoea and you heard, what would be your reaction? I'm assuming that you wouldn't point and laugh at them when they came out of the bathroom? Like what is the worst thing that could happen if they heard?

You are all adults, these things happen and no one is going to judge you for your digestive issues as long as you leave the toilet clean and wash your hands. If they do judge, that is very much a reflection on them and not you.

Agree with getting things checked out if this doesn't settles though :redface:
Original post by black tea
Think about this logically. If one of you flatmates had diarrhoea and you heard, what would be your reaction? I'm assuming that you wouldn't point and laugh at them when they came out of the bathroom? Like what is the worst thing that could happen if they heard?

You are all adults, these things happen and no one is going to judge you for your digestive issues as long as you leave the toilet clean and wash your hands. If they do judge, that is very much a reflection on them and not you.

Agree with getting things checked out if this doesn't settles though :redface:


Only my second post, but I am just adding to anything I can share my experience on and Black Tea says it completely. All I would add is that 4 guys dont normally wanna talk about toilet habits when they dont know each other that well, let alone 4 girls, but trust me, give it a few weeks and I'm sure there will not be a conversation you'll be uncomfortable having once you get into the swing of living together. Right now you are catastraphising because you have already convinced your self of a few negative outcomes, which have not happened yet and most likely won't. You never know, another girl might have IBS and suffer worse and you. try and change that mindset. You'll be okay.

Come back in 3-4 weeks and tell me I was right :smile:
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Its ok, we all get diarrhea sometimes. Just buy some supplies like air freshener and a toilet brush and it will all be fine. Plus if your all friends it should be fine. Just put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself 'would I really be that bothered if someone was having a hard time on the toilet?'. If your worried about being to loud just take your phone in with your and blast tiktoks or something on full volume, its very common for people to be scrolling on their phones while they're on the toilet. It might be awkward for a little bit but soon enough you'll get used to it and the people you're living with will become just like siblings.

thank you that's really helpful! I think I'm just making it worse for myself atm because rn there seems to never be a moment when I'm not worrying about it - I never used to be like this, in 2019 I went to America with scouts for 3 weeks camping and there were only curtains for privacy in the toilets but I never worried then. I wish I could go back to that
Original post by Scotney
If you are feeling very anxious it can definitely effect your bowels and stomach.See if it settles down while you are at home over the summer.If it continues or gets worse then maybe get checked over by a gp.

Thank you! I think its also not helping that I am both anxious about next year and worried something may be wrong so I'm definitely making it worse for myself :frown: - I just really hope it resolves and I'm scared it won't

Original post by black tea
Think about this logically. If one of you flatmates had diarrhoea and you heard, what would be your reaction? I'm assuming that you wouldn't point and laugh at them when they came out of the bathroom? Like what is the worst thing that could happen if they heard?

You are all adults, these things happen and no one is going to judge you for your digestive issues as long as you leave the toilet clean and wash your hands. If they do judge, that is very much a reflection on them and not you.

Agree with getting things checked out if this doesn't settles though :redface:
Original post by black tea
Think about this logically. If one of you flatmates had diarrhoea and you heard, what would be your reaction? I'm assuming that you wouldn't point and laugh at them when they came out of the bathroom? Like what is the worst thing that could happen if they heard?

You are all adults, these things happen and no one is going to judge you for your digestive issues as long as you leave the toilet clean and wash your hands. If they do judge, that is very much a reflection on them and not you.

Agree with getting things checked out if this doesn't settles though :redface:

Yeah I guess thats true - and I will say I am very good at keeping the bathroom clean and I always wash my hands and I would only judge others if they didn't do that
Original post by TheBankingGuy
Only my second post, but I am just adding to anything I can share my experience on and Black Tea says it completely. All I would add is that 4 guys dont normally wanna talk about toilet habits when they dont know each other that well, let alone 4 girls, but trust me, give it a few weeks and I'm sure there will not be a conversation you'll be uncomfortable having once you get into the swing of living together. Right now you are catastraphising because you have already convinced your self of a few negative outcomes, which have not happened yet and most likely won't. You never know, another girl might have IBS and suffer worse and you. try and change that mindset. You'll be okay.

Come back in 3-4 weeks and tell me I was right :smile:

Yeah I do have the worst habit of thinking the worst scenario possible will happen and I keep trying to plan everything out in my head but ig I should just relax and not think about it bc I bet loads of people don't even give it a second thought I wish that was me but I can't stop overthinking
Original post by Anonymous
I am a first year at uni and in september I will be moving into a house with 4 other girls (all of whom are my friends, but I don't know one of them that well). Recently I have starting feeling really anxious about sharing a bathroom - in our house we will have 2 between 5, both of which are next to the kitchen. I am scared that people will hear everything or I will have diarrhea or something and everyone will know. Also it would be more fine if I just had normal bowel movements but lately they have been looser/more frequent and sometimes I have had gas with them which would be soooo embarassing if that happened in the house. I have also been getting stomach ache. Could this be because I am so worried about it and overthinking my bowel movements that it has been causing these problems? Anyway if it is still like this in september I genuinely don't know what I will do - I'm so anxious about it can anyone give advice :frown:((


Hi there,
Sorry to hear you're feeling anxious about sharing a bathroom. It's entirely possible that they may be feeling the same way and that your anxiety about the situation is affecting your body. Sometimes communicating with your flatmates is the best way to handle a situation, let them know why you're worrying about sharing a bathroom and establish boundaries when you move in. Odds are, at least one of them will be worrying about the same thing!

Hope this helps!

- Sophie
Hi sorry to hear you are worried about sharing a bathroom, it's ok everyone goes to the toilet and yes everyone passes gas and has diarrhoea. If you are worried about people hearing you try turning on the taps or shower so the noise from your bowel movements won't be heard by others or put a few sheets of toilet paper in the bottom of the toilet. As previous posts have mentioned if you are feeling anxious this could be making it worse try to stay calm and relaxed probably the others will be feeling just the same . How long have you not been having normal bowel movements for ?

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