I have felt fine for the past 10 years, worked full time all through the pandemic which was hard but I stayed calm and didn’t react much emotionally. I had some anger but it spurred me on.
Then about this time last year I had a bad week with a few stressful events and suddenly I developed severe anxiety, a fear of going out and lots of physical symptoms which made the anxiety worse. I felt like I wasn’t getting enough air in on a regular basis I was highly focused on my breathing among other things. I had CBT but refused to take medication for it, which might be why it has taken the best part of year to improve.
I am feeling better now but thinking back am trying to make sense of it all, am I just prone to mental illness or was it work and other life events that weakened me mentally? I am sort of a bit scared of myself firstly because I am worried it could happen again (I can’t bear the thought) and secondly for lack of a better word I feel like a I am abnormal. People used to say that I was a bit weird when I was coping I am wondering if they were right and the mental issues prove it.
I have also noticed that friend have become distant I was telling one of them my story and she seemed to go a little flustered and said that she had to leave.
I am wondering what is the real reason people react this way? Is it that deep down they are scared of developing mental illness or losing control and so don’t want to talk about it, that would make sense as I’m scared of that too.