Lack of communication from Boyfriend - How to increase it?

I am a bit of a miss at what to do to increase it?

This is his first relationship and this is my second, so I feel I need to take the lead. We have been for about 6 months.

What's really annoyed me today, I haven't heard from him all day directly, till 4pm when he said he's "gaming" I asked what's he playing and replies to me 3h later and that's the last of it. I am an avid gamer, but he's got his kind of games and I do too. with 1-2 we mutually like a lot.

Yet on a mutual group chat he replies to that just before midnight and hasn't said another word to me.

Last night I made a joke to him following the group chat where he said about work and he goes "on that note I'm going to bed" and I found that kind of rude but then gives a 9am virtual cuddle.

I know I had a nap tonight after work about 8, so I didn't reply till 11, but he replies to the group chat and ignores my message entirely.

I want to start to develop more meaningful communication, but I sometimes feel his priority is this group chat. Before I was added to it, I saw his lack of communication started to begin, so I see this is what's happening now. I have personally never been to it.

The group chat is to a game event what happens every 3 months or so, mutual interests what we share.

So what should I do?

Should I spell it out that we need to talk more and why with a relationship?

Also to point out, we are at a distance at the moment, so we will be seeing each other in person July for his birthday.

Worst of all, I am getting better communication from the strangers from the group chat than I am my own boyfriend, full on messages telling me about things and all, asking how I am and all sorts, but really this should be my boyfriend telling me about his day and all.

I obviously don't expect to hear from him every moment, but checking in with each other, having meaningful conversations and building our relationship seems key.

Reply 1

Surnia

If you want instant replies, pick up the phone and talk to him. Yes, talk to him about communicating more, but why wouldn't you know what he was up to at the weekend; hasn't it already been discussed earlier in the week? I'm wondering what messages you are sending and whether they are already 'meaningful' or the pair of you have got too comfortable with brief one-liners.

Reply 2

MollyYvonne

I've actually been having the same sorta stuff with my partner!

We're distant too, in mutual Discord servers, and I find him talking to his hearts content in there, going on Insta, replying to others. If I don't hear from him, I message our mutual friend, just to make sure he's okay. The friend always says they've either called, texted or saw each other.

I like to say 'we need to prioritise each other more'; that is setting aside times to call and text.

I always say that confrontation isn't an argument!

Reply 3

ImKasper

Original post by Anonymous

I am a bit of a miss at what to do to increase it?
This is his first relationship and this is my second, so I feel I need to take the lead. We have been for about 6 months.
What's really annoyed me today, I haven't heard from him all day directly, till 4pm when he said he's "gaming" I asked what's he playing and replies to me 3h later and that's the last of it. I am an avid gamer, but he's got his kind of games and I do too. with 1-2 we mutually like a lot.
Yet on a mutual group chat he replies to that just before midnight and hasn't said another word to me.
Last night I made a joke to him following the group chat where he said about work and he goes "on that note I'm going to bed" and I found that kind of rude but then gives a 9am virtual cuddle.
I know I had a nap tonight after work about 8, so I didn't reply till 11, but he replies to the group chat and ignores my message entirely.
I want to start to develop more meaningful communication, but I sometimes feel his priority is this group chat. Before I was added to it, I saw his lack of communication started to begin, so I see this is what's happening now. I have personally never been to it.
The group chat is to a game event what happens every 3 months or so, mutual interests what we share.
So what should I do?
Should I spell it out that we need to talk more and why with a relationship?
Also to point out, we are at a distance at the moment, so we will be seeing each other in person July for his birthday.
Worst of all, I am getting better communication from the strangers from the group chat than I am my own boyfriend, full on messages telling me about things and all, asking how I am and all sorts, but really this should be my boyfriend telling me about his day and all.
I obviously don't expect to hear from him every moment, but checking in with each other, having meaningful conversations and building our relationship seems key.

Hi, In my opinion it's better you can call him and spell out what's in your mind. Mens are usually shy specially who are in tech ( mostbof the cases). Further, as you said it's his first relation so definetely he don't know what to do he is treating you same like a boy treats other boy. Although, I can understand you feel it's rude but you also have to understand he is new in this. So, it take some time for him to understand be patient and speak to him.