feeling numb as an adult

hi guys, soo im in my late 20s. I feel like my student days were just yesterday but somehow i almost 30. my life has also felt like an upward battle this whole time, i never had a fun uni experience or a friendship group since i left secondary school.

ive been to therapy abundant times, been on countless dates trying to learn more about what i want/find a connection (no results), ive traveled by myself, hung out with new friends (that never last), got a good job, lived my life etc etc yet i feel like my life means nothing, don't have any real friends, people don't really like me, and nobody wants to date or love me.

no advice or comforting words people say like 'you aren't alone' 'things will work out' has any effect whatsoever. Ive tried sso hard in my life so live life i enjoy, stay healthy and kind, be strong, explore my hobbies, yet at the end of allllll of that all i want is to be loved and to fit in and just really simple things. i don't know who i am anymore and so disappointed in myself.

it feels freaking impossible and like I'm so behind, id rather not be here.

hi guys, soo im in my late 20s. I feel like my student days were just yesterday but somehow i almost 30. my life has also felt like an upward battle this whole time, i never had a fun uni experience or a friendship group since i left secondary school.

ive been to therapy abundant times, been on countless dates trying to learn more about what i want/find a connection (no results), ive traveled by myself, hung out with new friends (that never last), got a good job, lived my life etc etc yet i feel like my life means nothing, don't have any real friends, people don't really like me, and nobody wants to date or love me.

no advice or comforting words people say like 'you aren't alone' 'things will work out' has any effect whatsoever. Ive tried sso hard in my life so live life i enjoy, stay healthy and kind, be strong, explore my hobbies, yet at the end of allllll of that all i want is to be loved and to fit in and just really simple things. i don't know who i am anymore and so disappointed in myself.

it feels freaking impossible and like I'm so behind, id rather not be here.

Sounds common.

I recommend speaking to a life coach. Things I would talk about include:

I would recommend watching the following for a better idea, especially when HealthyGamerGG is a channel created by a qualified psychiatrist:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuHEY7CjjTI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEGukyCsHMg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkd36cJ6Z78
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWS3A2EAwTk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmGIwRvcIrg

Do you think its common?
where can i find a life coach ( for free)?

Yeah, kind of systemic. A lot of people I come across feel the same. On the other hand, I see the symptoms and attributed causes being common e.g. difficult upbringings, strict schooling, limited opportunities, adverse changes in culture

Life coaches aren't really free (if they are, I haven't seen one).

Just like finding a therapist, most that are free have long waiting lists. Those that charge modest sums like £20-30 per hour are usually available with some flexibility.
Expecting a lot of things for free will slow down your progress, and it's also not healthy to think that way (it reeks of entitlement).

Life coaching is not a regulated profession (there are no laws or professional bodies on the profession), so you won't need anything to call yourself a life coach. On the other hand, those who took the extra mile to study to become an effective life coach are often worth their weight in gold. Whether you share the same opinion and whether you think they are worth the money is up to you.

To find one, you can google for "life coach near" your location, or look one up in a life coach directory. These tend to show coaches on the cheaper end.

hi guys, soo im in my late 20s. I feel like my student days were just yesterday but somehow i almost 30. my life has also felt like an upward battle this whole time, i never had a fun uni experience or a friendship group since i left secondary school.

ive been to therapy abundant times, been on countless dates trying to learn more about what i want/find a connection (no results), ive traveled by myself, hung out with new friends (that never last), got a good job, lived my life etc etc yet i feel like my life means nothing, don't have any real friends, people don't really like me, and nobody wants to date or love me.

no advice or comforting words people say like 'you aren't alone' 'things will work out' has any effect whatsoever. Ive tried sso hard in my life so live life i enjoy, stay healthy and kind, be strong, explore my hobbies, yet at the end of allllll of that all i want is to be loved and to fit in and just really simple things. i don't know who i am anymore and so disappointed in myself.

it feels freaking impossible and like I'm so behind, id rather not be here.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation, I'm 21 and whilst I've barley experienced much of my twenties life does get weird in this stage and there is definitely a lot of figuring out to do, a lot of people have said being in your 20's is like experiencing your teen years all over again. It's alright if your life moves at a different pace then others and if you learn things a little later, but the best thing to do is keep moving forward and finding ways to improve and make your days brighter.

You sound like you've done really well for yourself so far, gone to uni, got a job and even travelled; Well Done! In regards to having more people around you and improving your life there are a number of ways to pursue this;

1) By pursuing religion - it doesn't matter what religion you have, but during the times of difficulty, it can really help one stay grounded. You'll definitely be able to connect with others by going to your place of worship more regularly and it will perhaps help you find peace, it'll be great for your mental health too.

2) Get Active - This will definitely be great for your health (mentally and physically) and it doesn't have to be anything hardcore it could literally be a walk in the park or going to a few gym classes - through this you'll also meet so so many new people and friends! Definitely try to spend more time around nature - it's good for you!

3) Hobbies - it could be gaming, going to conventions, anime, art galleries, book clubs, cooking classes, concerts or absolutely anything and by going to events for your hobbies you will definitely meet new friends to socialise with and fit in with.

4) Spending time with family and friends will also help to improve your mood and help you feel better.

It's also worth continuing to go on these dates to help find the right person for you along with attending your therapy sessions. I genuinely wish you the best of luck with things and i don't want to be that person but eventually things will get better, it might take a while or maybe even quite soon but you'll get there. Your mind is like the sky and you're experiencing some cloudy weather, but even the worst of storms will pass and your skies will become clear again. Don't worry about feeling 'behind' because frankly you're not, it's just you being negative in all honesty - stop it. Stop doing that - and be kind to yourself. Your emotions are valid and I hope some of the advice I've given can work for you. Just because you haven't found someone to connect with doesn't mean all your other experiences are for naught, think of it this way; all these people who have come and gone in your life were all a part of your journey to get where you are now, like npcs in a game - you're the main character in your life and people can get lost at times, but don't let it weigh you down - it's okay. you've undeniably done well and life isn't simply about accomplishments. I've heard someone say ' insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting a different result each time'. If your life is bothering you then definitely try new things and don't hold yourself back.

(Personally i've found youtubers like; 'Better Ideas' and Ted Talks in general help me find clarity in a situation)

I hope you feel better soon and find what you're looking for.