I can’t help but wonder if I made the right decision by dropping out of unu
Hi, I was recently doing a course in a smaller university which was more tight knit which is part of the reason I chose it because I’m a very shy person and it also included history which has been a subject that has always interested me but while I was there I felt so alone and depressed. I really struggled to make friends and I could not bring myself to do any of the work; even when I was doing A level history, we were doing a particularly a topic I didn’t particularly enjoy so I was slightly put off it. Also I was extremely embarrassed about presentations we had to do and speeches because I felt like I completely bombed them but I also got in my head a lot about it. It got to a point where I completely self destructed and decided to stop going in entirely and I kept telling myself I would go in but weeks turned into months. I never sought help for my mental health in college because I have always felt ashamed.
Now I am in a bigger university doing a different course and I feel completely numb.
I feel no urge to be social or even show up. I feel so misplaced and I can’t stop thinking about the past.
I really can’t come to terms with my decision and focus on the future.
There is also so much pressure from my family to go to University.
I need advice. I really feel stuck.
Now I am in a bigger university doing a different course and I feel completely numb.
I feel no urge to be social or even show up. I feel so misplaced and I can’t stop thinking about the past.
I really can’t come to terms with my decision and focus on the future.
There is also so much pressure from my family to go to University.
I need advice. I really feel stuck.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, I was recently doing a course in a smaller university which was more tight knit which is part of the reason I chose it because I’m a very shy person and it also included history which has been a subject that has always interested me but while I was there I felt so alone and depressed. I really struggled to make friends and I could not bring myself to do any of the work; even when I was doing A level history, we were doing a particularly a topic I didn’t particularly enjoy so I was slightly put off it. Also I was extremely embarrassed about presentations we had to do and speeches because I felt like I completely bombed them but I also got in my head a lot about it. It got to a point where I completely self destructed and decided to stop going in entirely and I kept telling myself I would go in but weeks turned into months. I never sought help for my mental health in college because I have always felt ashamed.
Now I am in a bigger university doing a different course and I feel completely numb.
I feel no urge to be social or even show up. I feel so misplaced and I can’t stop thinking about the past.
I really can’t come to terms with my decision and focus on the future.
There is also so much pressure from my family to go to University.
I need advice. I really feel stuck.
Now I am in a bigger university doing a different course and I feel completely numb.
I feel no urge to be social or even show up. I feel so misplaced and I can’t stop thinking about the past.
I really can’t come to terms with my decision and focus on the future.
There is also so much pressure from my family to go to University.
I need advice. I really feel stuck.
Hi there,
I'm sorry to hear you're struggling and feel under a lot of pressure.
From reading your post I think there may be an anxiety aspect that's affecting you. I would definitely recommend reaching out to your wellbeing/welfare department at your university to talk all this through. They should be able to listen to your worries and address any support you may need. I've used mine before (nothing to be ashamed of) and I was able to get adjustments put in place to help with my coursework and exam anxiety. I know others who had adjustments for presentations where they could record presentations at home or present to the lecturer only, so this could be helpful for you (remember most people don't like presentations either!).
You can't change the past. I understand this can be upsetting when you feel like you've made the wrong decision, but to overcome this, try to focus on where you are now and what you can do to feel better. It's not worth wasting energy worrying about the past (I know easier said that done). Once you put things in place to support you now, you could start to feel better. Once you feel better, hopefully you'll feel more motivated, less anxious and less numb. This is another reason why I'd recommend reaching out to wellbeing support, because it can be hard to know where to start. Who knows, maybe sooner or later you'll be enjoying your new course and super happy you changed university
. It might also help to talk it through with family if you feel like you can. I hope this helps!
Bethan
University of Exeter Student Ambassador
(edited 7 months ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, I was recently doing a course in a smaller university which was more tight knit which is part of the reason I chose it because I’m a very shy person and it also included history which has been a subject that has always interested me but while I was there I felt so alone and depressed. I really struggled to make friends and I could not bring myself to do any of the work; even when I was doing A level history, we were doing a particularly a topic I didn’t particularly enjoy so I was slightly put off it. Also I was extremely embarrassed about presentations we had to do and speeches because I felt like I completely bombed them but I also got in my head a lot about it. It got to a point where I completely self destructed and decided to stop going in entirely and I kept telling myself I would go in but weeks turned into months. I never sought help for my mental health in college because I have always felt ashamed.
Now I am in a bigger university doing a different course and I feel completely numb.
I feel no urge to be social or even show up. I feel so misplaced and I can’t stop thinking about the past.
I really can’t come to terms with my decision and focus on the future.
There is also so much pressure from my family to go to University.
I need advice. I really feel stuck.
Now I am in a bigger university doing a different course and I feel completely numb.
I feel no urge to be social or even show up. I feel so misplaced and I can’t stop thinking about the past.
I really can’t come to terms with my decision and focus on the future.
There is also so much pressure from my family to go to University.
I need advice. I really feel stuck.
Hi
I am so sorry you have been feeling like this. I can assure you there is nothing to be ashamed about. It might not feel like it, but you're not alone in your experiences, and there will be others who are in the same position. For example, I experience anxiety and depression and my attendance can sometimes suffer as a result. However, universities are often super understanding if you make sure to keep them in the loop, as they empathise with the fact that some students have difficulties others may not.
My first piece of advice would be to get in touch with your university's wellbeing service. I know it can be daunting, but when you're in a better mindset, you can then properly think about if university is right for you or if another path might be better suited. If you wish to stay in your university, I would then recommend getting in touch with the disability services, as they can help to provide support to help you succeed despite your struggles.
Alternatively, you could transfer to an Open Uni course, where you complete your degree completely online. This may be better suited for you, and I definitely considered it for myself too. When you feel you can, do some research on these things and see what you think
I hope this helps!
Estelle
Third Year Psychology Student
University of Huddersfield
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