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Leaving my best friend

So i have this really really good friend of mine who lives in another country, we met online through social media, we've known each for like 2 years. He's always been a great guy and a close friend I can always go to for anything, he knows many of my secrets, all that type of stuff. We talk probably a couple times a week and he lives where many of my relatives are based so I have been planning to finally meet him this summer. But recently he's been doing very questionable things that have made me question if it's even worth staying friends with him. Here's a list:

1) He seems like a loser. He graduated university a while ago and has basically had no job since, claiming he works some part time online job but seems to be at home every day, always on social media and doing useless things. Granted, he lives in a country where there are unemployment issues especially amongst the youth, but jobs don't come to people who just sit around. I don't want to comment on other people's personal situations but I want friends who are trying their best in life, we're not 12 or 13 anymore, the guy is 22 years old and should be taking things more seriously.

He seems to have no goals or aspirations or idea of what he's doing in life. Whenever I tell him about my somewhat ambitious career aspirations, he always laughs at me telling me it won't be possible or I'm not good enough or I can never be like my role models, and whenever I comment on things in the news he responds saying 'Who are you to say this', basically inferring that I am a nobody and my opinion is irrelevant. When I ask him what his goals and aspirations are he barely has any plan or idea.

Female issues: The guy always seems to be involving problematic girls in my life and I went through some very silly drama lately because of him. First instance was last week, a girl who he knows followed me and started trying to get to know me and I thought she was beautiful so we had a long conversation then she turned out to just chat a whole load of crap about me to my friend and making up stuff about me and she ended up blocking me saying she doesn't want me. This same girl still talks to my friend and sends him nudes and the whole situation annoyed me and made me jealous. In another instance, which happened today and inspired this post, he played a cruel 'prank' on me where he got a random girl he knows to convince me to have phone s3x with me, for her to take screenshots of me naked, and send it to him. He called me after laughing at my body and that I 'fell' for it. I felt simply upset at this and I've now blocked him for the time being and told him I need some time to think about our friendship. He kept apologising to me but I see this as a huge violation of our morals and mutual respect.

Having read this back to myself I really don't see myself being friends with this guy now. He adds no value to my life, we simply call and waste time and with the goals I have he seems to just be wasting my time. Which is fine though, it happens in life, but at least I've identified this and I just want some useful advice on what to do. And if I was to leave him, what final steps should I take before I end this friendship. Thank you guys.
Reply 1
Wow. I believe that your judgment on not continuing with him makes a lot of sense.
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
So i have this really really good friend of mine who lives in another country, we met online through social media, we've known each for like 2 years. He's always been a great guy and a close friend I can always go to for anything, he knows many of my secrets, all that type of stuff. We talk probably a couple times a week and he lives where many of my relatives are based so I have been planning to finally meet him this summer. But recently he's been doing very questionable things that have made me question if it's even worth staying friends with him. Here's a list:

1) He seems like a loser. He graduated university a while ago and has basically had no job since, claiming he works some part time online job but seems to be at home every day, always on social media and doing useless things. Granted, he lives in a country where there are unemployment issues especially amongst the youth, but jobs don't come to people who just sit around. I don't want to comment on other people's personal situations but I want friends who are trying their best in life, we're not 12 or 13 anymore, the guy is 22 years old and should be taking things more seriously.

He seems to have no goals or aspirations or idea of what he's doing in life. Whenever I tell him about my somewhat ambitious career aspirations, he always laughs at me telling me it won't be possible or I'm not good enough or I can never be like my role models, and whenever I comment on things in the news he responds saying 'Who are you to say this', basically inferring that I am a nobody and my opinion is irrelevant. When I ask him what his goals and aspirations are he barely has any plan or idea.

Female issues: The guy always seems to be involving problematic girls in my life and I went through some very silly drama lately because of him. First instance was last week, a girl who he knows followed me and started trying to get to know me and I thought she was beautiful so we had a long conversation then she turned out to just chat a whole load of crap about me to my friend and making up stuff about me and she ended up blocking me saying she doesn't want me. This same girl still talks to my friend and sends him nudes and the whole situation annoyed me and made me jealous. In another instance, which happened today and inspired this post, he played a cruel 'prank' on me where he got a random girl he knows to convince me to have phone s3x with me, for her to take screenshots of me naked, and send it to him. He called me after laughing at my body and that I 'fell' for it. I felt simply upset at this and I've now blocked him for the time being and told him I need some time to think about our friendship. He kept apologising to me but I see this as a huge violation of our morals and mutual respect.

Having read this back to myself I really don't see myself being friends with this guy now. He adds no value to my life, we simply call and waste time and with the goals I have he seems to just be wasting my time. Which is fine though, it happens in life, but at least I've identified this and I just want some useful advice on what to do. And if I was to leave him, what final steps should I take before I end this friendship. Thank you guys.


Yeah he is an ahole and is incredibly jealous of you. You are making the right decision of dumping him, you don't owe it to anyone to be friends with them and there is no shame in wanting friends who align with your aspirations and goals :smile:
Reply 3
Just don't bother unblocking him...
Giant red flags waving around there...

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