I found out my best friend is still friends with people who turned against me.

I don't remember all the details so I may miss some details, looking back though I do now know that this drama was so stupid.

The drama started when I was 14, I decided to finally join Facebook. I joined Facebook as I felt peer pressure, I was tease for not having any social media, my mother would have let me joined social media as long as she supervised it but it was just a personal choice not to join until I felt I no longer had a choice.

After I set up my account, I added all my family and the whole year group. About three days after setting up Facebook I got a friends request from a woman named Angel. I didn't know much about social media so I accepted her request and her friends started adding me for some reason.

Angel was the first one to send a message, after two months of talking I thought she was nice and I decided to be friends with her. Angel soon added me to this group chat on messenger, there was a few people I already knew and a few people I didn't know. I'm one of those people who don't like being in a group chat and it stays on mute. I'm also a nosey person so I prefer not to leave groups chat but read the messages.

Two months later after I was added into a group chat the drama started! There was an argument, what happened was a woman named Chloe started going out with this guy who likes to think he is a bad boy named Alex. Chloe said Alex was messaging his ex because she wouldn't stop harassing him. The ex, Courtney was added into the group chat and "beef " started.

I decided to message Courtney privately and I soon realised that she was telling the truth about the argument. It turns out Courtney had a son but Courtney was never in a relationship with Alex, she didn't even know him. Alex was telling everyone he is the father of Courtney son, I know who the father is.

I sent messages that Courtney gave me permission to screenshot and send to group and I started getting backlash for speaking the truth. A guy named Dave, baring in mind, he has about 10 Facebook accounts and 20 Instagram accounts, turned nasty on me. Dave called me slurs which I don't think I can say on here or I may face a ban but let's just say is something to do with an adult and a child beginning with P and ending in O.

During the group chat argument Dave tried to turn my male best friend against me, but he wouldn't listen. I privately WhatsApped my best friend and said I'm going to leave the group as this argument is childish. He told me he will leave the group chat if I leave, turns out once I left he never left and I didn't know until last month. I wouldn't have cared if he said he decided to stay in this group chat but hiding it for 8 years now has gotten to me a bit.

During the course of my teenage years I was in and out of contact with them. Once, I decided to give them a second change, I also regret that because I was caring for my sick mother who has now passed away and because I didn't respond to their messages within 5 minutes, as I said I was caring my mother, they knew this already but blew up my phone, so I had to turn it of, once I turned on again about 5 hours later, I had well over 150 unread messages.

I'm not going into full details as the drama was way too long, but Dave the one who called me slurs also tried to get me arrested on a serious accusation which I could have faced at least 12 years inside, thankfully, I had enough evidence to show police I didn't do anything and they didn't charge me.

It took me a very long time to get over this, we're speaking two years of therapy and I had no justice. About 3 years ago, my middle sister was starting college and I found out Dave was in the same class as my and they became "best friends" even though she new what he had done.

I'm guessing you can tell me and mother wasn't happy about it at all. About a year ago Dave introduced my sister to the friends who started drama with me and actually got involved in the accusation made against by Dave. My sister added them all on Facebook, now I was annoyed but this was my sister and obviously I wasn't happy about it.

As well as that just before Dave introduced my sister to his friends, our mother passed away. My oldest sister was 9 months pregnant and had the baby, my mother's first grandchild, two weeks after she passed away. This may have been my grief but what really got to me was Dave was invited to my mother's funeral and the day before we were burying her I found out he is not coming because he would of had a panic attack if he was in the same room as me.

He said to my sisters, it would of been me or him, what really hurts is I found out my sisters actually thought about it and even considered uninviting me to my mothers funeral!

I'll get to the actual bit now, sorry, I just realised this is really long. Many years ago I deleted my Facebook account and decided to rejoin this time for family and very close friends originally. My best male friend picked me up as he drives and I don't and because of how close we are we trust each other with our phones and go on each phones a lot.

He doesn't mind if I read his messages, I was curious and nosey and decided to go on his messenger, and I found out he was still friends with the people who turned against me and made a serious accusation against me and he was still in contact with them going back years like 50+ messages per a day even during the police investigation.

I found this out a month ago, I haven't told anyone but feel really hurt about this. This September I will be starting my first year of university and I haven't told my siblings what university I'm going to yet because I wonder if I should cut contact with my family completely. I have always been independent and I am able to support myself, and I will be able to rent somewhere once I leave university.

I've already been classed as an estranged student but I wonder if I should or shouldn't cut all contact, I just feel so hurt. Once again, sorry for the long post.

Reply 1

Doomotron

Well, that was not a pleasant read. I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of this. I'd suggest that you distance yourself from your sisters, and if they get worse cut contact with them completely. I've been in a similar situation to you but not as severe, where my friends made up lies about me and then purposely misinterpreted or overexaggerated things I'd said or done before to help get me excluded from school. This was in year 12. I do not believe in trying to reconcile with people who have mistreated me, and I never forgive people for anything: if they want me to feel better about them they shouldn't have done what they did in the first place. For both you and I, the best course of action is probably just to compartmentalise what has happened and move on - imagine what happened with your former friends is just a chapter of your life you're not going back to. It helped me in my situation.