First house problem

So I’ve recently saved up enough to get my first house. Which my boyfriend who’s just finished his masters will be living in with me and will save up to match my deposit so we’ll eventually be 50/50 on the house.

We’ve been viewing houses, ourselves but my boyfriends mum keeps booking house viewings without my consent. Since I’m getting the house I would prefer it to be my parents to help out if needed. I don’t feel comfortable at all with her going behind my back searching for houses. When I can perfectly look myself.

Reply 1

DataVenia

Volunteer Team, Clearing and Applications Advisor

21

Original post by Anonymous

So I’ve recently saved up enough to get my first house. Which my boyfriend who’s just finished his masters will be living in with me and will save up to match my deposit so we’ll eventually be 50/50 on the house.

We’ve been viewing houses, ourselves but my boyfriends mum keeps booking house viewings without my consent. Since I’m getting the house I would prefer it to be my parents to help out if needed. I don’t feel comfortable at all with her going behind my back searching for houses. When I can perfectly look myself.

Are the houses that your boyfriend's mum finds (and books viewings for) houses that are appropriate? Or are they in the wrong location, or the wrong price, etc.? If she not locating appropriate houses, then let he know what sort of thing you're looking for. If she finds the perfect house, would you dismiss it just because she found it, rather than you? If she's finding "good" houses, I don't understand why you wouldn't welcome the help.

Also when you say, "I would prefer it to be my parents to help out if needed", are you still talking about searching for the house or are you talking about them helping in some other way (e.g. financially)?

Is your boyfriend "allowed" to help with the search too, given that he will "save up to match my deposit so we’ll eventually be 50/50 on the house". If he's allowed to help as an equal participant, they why would his parents not be treated equally with your parents?

Reply 2

Muttly

20

I wouldn't worry about someone else looking for houses for you - the more the merrier.

What I would be worried about is the joint agreement you both need to make to ensure that in the event of a break up you have both a formal documented record of what you have paid into the house, contents, insurance, maintenance and what you are going to do with each of the assets or proceeds of sale (in what percentage) if you fall out with each other and split up, or if someone else comes in to the house and pays rent??

The early warning signs are already there.

Reply 3

Zarek

21

That would be highly irritating. Can you not get your bf to gently ask her to ease off. Buying yourself gives a lot of autonomy and security, I would take it steady in to joint ownership

First house problem

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