The Student Room Group

Girl in my gym class

I know the gym can be a very fine line of being seen as a creep or not. However, there is a girl I spoke to in my circuit training classes and she was nice to talk to. She complimented on me doing very well in our 1st class. On the 2nd class, I did ask her name and she asked for mine, she went on to ask, "how come I didn't see you last week in the class?" All I said was, "I had alternative classes." We always train next to each other in that class and I keep encouraging her and we fist pump when she has done a harder workout. I don't want the CREEP moniker, lol, but would like to get her number and maybe coffee out at some point. Do you all think it is fair to pursue it?
Original post by Anonymous
I know the gym can be a very fine line of being seen as a creep or not. However, there is a girl I spoke to in my circuit training classes and she was nice to talk to. She complimented on me doing very well in our 1st class. On the 2nd class, I did ask her name and she asked for mine, she went on to ask, "how come I didn't see you last week in the class?" All I said was, "I had alternative classes." We always train next to each other in that class and I keep encouraging her and we fist pump when she has done a harder workout. I don't want the CREEP moniker, lol, but would like to get her number and maybe coffee out at some point. Do you all think it is fair to pursue it?


Killer question... does she actually call you by your name? If you're important / significant to her, then she'll remember your name... if she's already forgotten it, then chances are she doesn't fancy you. The other important thing is, are you the only guy she talks to there ;or at least does she behave differently (more reserved) compared with other gym goers?

Given all the dangers, threats etc. women face these days, some girls are reluctant to give out their personal number... but they're less guarded about giving out social media contacts (e.g. Facebook, Instagram etc.), as it's easier to get rid of unwanted attention (a pest) than going through the hassle of changing a mobile number (plus updating all her contacts etc.). Then you can build up some trust etc. in between your gym sessions. If she likes you (and she's comfortable), then there's a chance she may volunteer her number when you ask for Social Media contacts (this is a good thing, if you haven't already worked it out lol).

I doubt she thinks you're a creep... if she thought you were, chances are she would be keeping her distance from you (possibly changing the times she goes to the gym, to avoid you). FYI, the "creepiness" is more about perving over women when doing certain stretches / exercises. Or, following them around the gym or continuing to show "interest" when they've made it clear they want to be left alone.
Original post by Anonymous
I know the gym can be a very fine line of being seen as a creep or not. However, there is a girl I spoke to in my circuit training classes and she was nice to talk to. She complimented on me doing very well in our 1st class. On the 2nd class, I did ask her name and she asked for mine, she went on to ask, "how come I didn't see you last week in the class?" All I said was, "I had alternative classes." We always train next to each other in that class and I keep encouraging her and we fist pump when she has done a harder workout. I don't want the CREEP moniker, lol, but would like to get her number and maybe coffee out at some point. Do you all think it is fair to pursue it?

No she isn't interested so let it go
Reply 3
It seems quite encouraging from what you say, but she could just be being friendly. Maybe ask a few questions about what she does for work, hobbies etc and if the interaction continues to be positive try casually suggesting a coffee together. You want to avoid an awkward situation that makes it difficult to go to the gym if it doesn’t work out
Original post by A jaded girl
No she isn't interested so let it go


Seriously, how did you work that one out :confused:

Original post by Zarek
It seems quite encouraging from what you say, but she could just be being friendly. Maybe ask a few questions about what she does for work, hobbies etc and if the interaction continues to be positive try casually suggesting a coffee together. You want to avoid an awkward situation that makes it difficult to go to the gym if it doesn’t work out


I don't see how it needs to be awkward... if she says "no", then one of you would just change the time(s) you go to avoid the other person. Besides, from my experience, it's only awkward when one person doesn't accept the other's decision (e.g. they persist, get into a sulk etc.).

Spoiler




@OP if you really want to find out if she's single, when chatting to her... maybe steer the conversation to hobbies etc. in general. Then when appropriate, drop in a line like, "Oh, bet your fella loves that, eh?". If she's got a BF, she'll either agree or disagree as appropriate, but if she's single, she then has to declare herself as such. If she says she's single and doesn't immediately follow it up with a line about either how great it is to be single, OR how a BF would be a bad move right now, you can take it as red that she's interested.

What's more, she'll probably pick up that you're interested from that (if she hasn't already), so you've also given her the perfect opportunity to "invent" a boyfriend to let you down gently if she's not interested. Therefore, it's pretty much game on... suggest a coffee sometime (or whatever takes your fancy)
Old Skool Freak's advice is pretty good. If you can suss out whether she has a bf up front then you have a better steering on it all. The number of times I've been chatting to girls for a good few weeks before they let slip they have a bf. I'm sure they do it for a laugh just to see if I would make a fool out of myself asking them out, fortunately I avoided most of that, just.

Main thing I think is if she is eyeing you up at all. Not saying it's a dead cert if she is as she might still have a bf, but likely she fancies you unless it's just a polite smile and look in the eyes. Look for quick flirty eye movements.

Phone number I would personally avoid, not saying someone couldn't you that approach but it's laying it on the line a bit. If she's not into you then it could come across creepy, kind of overly keen/obvious. Social media is perhaps more relaxed and less overt. Going for a drink after exercise isn't bad but could face awkwardness if she has a bf. So checking to see if she has a bf first as Old Skool said is probably best.
Original post by Anonymous
Old Skool Freak's advice is pretty good. If you can suss out whether she has a bf up front then you have a better steering on it all. The number of times I've been chatting to girls for a good few weeks before they let slip they have a bf. I'm sure they do it for a laugh just to see if I would make a fool out of myself asking them out, fortunately I avoided most of that, just.

Main thing I think is if she is eyeing you up at all. Not saying it's a dead cert if she is as she might still have a bf, but likely she fancies you unless it's just a polite smile and look in the eyes. Look for quick flirty eye movements.

Phone number I would personally avoid, not saying someone couldn't you that approach but it's laying it on the line a bit. If she's not into you then it could come across creepy, kind of overly keen/obvious. Social media is perhaps more relaxed and less overt. Going for a drink after exercise isn't bad but could face awkwardness if she has a bf. So checking to see if she has a bf first as Old Skool said is probably best.

She could swing the other way :teeth:
Original post by Anonymous
Old Skool Freak's advice is pretty good. If you can suss out whether she has a bf up front then you have a better steering on it all. The number of times I've been chatting to girls for a good few weeks before they let slip they have a bf. I'm sure they do it for a laugh just to see if I would make a fool out of myself asking them out, fortunately I avoided most of that, just.

Main thing I think is if she is eyeing you up at all. Not saying it's a dead cert if she is as she might still have a bf, but likely she fancies you unless it's just a polite smile and look in the eyes. Look for quick flirty eye movements.

Phone number I would personally avoid, not saying someone couldn't you that approach but it's laying it on the line a bit. If she's not into you then it could come across creepy, kind of overly keen/obvious. Social media is perhaps more relaxed and less overt. Going for a drink after exercise isn't bad but could face awkwardness if she has a bf. So checking to see if she has a bf first as Old Skool said is probably best.


Thanks, I appreciate your words.

... and yes, I agree about asking for phone numbers; as per my original post, requesting a social media contact is probably a safer bet.

TBH, you could even suggest just chatting in the lounge / foyer area (if it's a big franchise gym like Virgin Active, Fitness First, Nuffield etc, they normally have these type of areas near the entrance).

Original post by A jaded girl
She could swing the other way :teeth:


As long as she'll let him watch, it's all good :tongue: :hubba::perv:

Spoiler

Reply 8
Original post by Old Skool Freak
Killer question... does she actually call you by your name? If you're important / significant to her, then she'll remember your name... if she's already forgotten it, then chances are she doesn't fancy you. The other important thing is, are you the only guy she talks to there ;or at least does she behave differently (more reserved) compared with other gym goers?

Given all the dangers, threats etc. women face these days, some girls are reluctant to give out their personal number... but they're less guarded about giving out social media contacts (e.g. Facebook, Instagram etc.), as it's easier to get rid of unwanted attention (a pest) than going through the hassle of changing a mobile number (plus updating all her contacts etc.). Then you can build up some trust etc. in between your gym sessions. If she likes you (and she's comfortable), then there's a chance she may volunteer her number when you ask for Social Media contacts (this is a good thing, if you haven't already worked it out lol).

I doubt she thinks you're a creep... if she thought you were, chances are she would be keeping her distance from you (possibly changing the times she goes to the gym, to avoid you). FYI, the "creepiness" is more about perving over women when doing certain stretches / exercises. Or, following them around the gym or continuing to show "interest" when they've made it clear they want to be left alone.

I only got her name when I attended the 2nd exercise class. She did ask for my name and I told her. I did ask her if she lived locally and she said she did, funny enough she told me the street she lives on. I will see if we meet in another class if she remembers my name. I don't have a personal Instagram or Facebook. I have Twitter though. I will try that avenue. I so don't wanna make it awkward, lol. As for the creep thing, you are right. I am not like that. I am laid back and generally keep to myself. As for talking to other guys, the times I have seen her it has only been me. She does exercise next to me, whether it's just a coincidence or not, I don't know to be honest. She is a nice girl and kinda open as I asked a few questions about living in our town, and she also told me she lived abroad for a bit. She told me she lives with her mama.
Reply 9
Original post by A jaded girl
No she isn't interested so let it go

Oh, wow, how did you get to that conclusion? Genuinely asking, lol
Reply 10
Original post by Zarek
It seems quite encouraging from what you say, but she could just be being friendly. Maybe ask a few questions about what she does for work, hobbies etc and if the interaction continues to be positive try casually suggesting a coffee together. You want to avoid an awkward situation that makes it difficult to go to the gym if it doesn’t work out

Yeah, I felt that encouraging energy. I will try and talk a bit more and steer the conversation as fit. Thank you 😊
Original post by Old Skool Freak
Seriously, how did you work that one out :confused:



I don't see how it needs to be awkward... if she says "no", then one of you would just change the time(s) you go to avoid the other person. Besides, from my experience, it's only awkward when one person doesn't accept the other's decision (e.g. they persist, get into a sulk etc.).

Spoiler




@OP if you really want to find out if she's single, when chatting to her... maybe steer the conversation to hobbies etc. in general. Then when appropriate, drop in a line like, "Oh, bet your fella loves that, eh?". If she's got a BF, she'll either agree or disagree as appropriate, but if she's single, she then has to declare herself as such. If she says she's single and doesn't immediately follow it up with a line about either how great it is to be single, OR how a BF would be a bad move right now, you can take it as red that she's interested.

What's more, she'll probably pick up that you're interested from that (if she hasn't already), so you've also given her the perfect opportunity to "invent" a boyfriend to let you down gently if she's not interested. Therefore, it's pretty much game on... suggest a coffee sometime (or whatever takes your fancy)

Yeah, I will do the friendly chat and ask more questions. I generally go early mornings anyway, so, if it doesn't workout, we will not be crossing paths as long as I don't go to that class. Man, the life of a guy lol.
Reply 11
Original post by Anonymous
Old Skool Freak's advice is pretty good. If you can suss out whether she has a bf up front then you have a better steering on it all. The number of times I've been chatting to girls for a good few weeks before they let slip they have a bf. I'm sure they do it for a laugh just to see if I would make a fool out of myself asking them out, fortunately I avoided most of that, just.

Main thing I think is if she is eyeing you up at all. Not saying it's a dead cert if she is as she might still have a bf, but likely she fancies you unless it's just a polite smile and look in the eyes. Look for quick flirty eye movements.

Phone number I would personally avoid, not saying someone couldn't you that approach but it's laying it on the line a bit. If she's not into you then it could come across creepy, kind of overly keen/obvious. Social media is perhaps more relaxed and less overt. Going for a drink after exercise isn't bad but could face awkwardness if she has a bf. So checking to see if she has a bf first as Old Skool said is probably best.

Yeah, I will do the detective work. And yeah, I just don't wanna make things awkward, lol. Will try the social media route. No Facebook or Instagram, but Twitter.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah, I will do the detective work. And yeah, I just don't wanna make things awkward, lol. Will try the social media route. No Facebook or Instagram, but Twitter.

I'm not sure how many people use Twitter... from my understanding Facebook and Instagram are far more popular (I thought Twitter was more to promote products?).

If she's not on Twitter, could you not set up a Facebook / Instagram account? It would be easier to find her (or anyone else that takes your fancy)
Reply 13
Original post by Old Skool Freak
I'm not sure how many people use Twitter... from my understanding Facebook and Instagram are far more popular (I thought Twitter was more to promote products?).

If she's not on Twitter, could you not set up a Facebook / Instagram account? It would be easier to find her (or anyone else that takes your fancy)

I have a cooking instagram, but not a personal one. I can use that. I am not keen on personal Facebook and Instagram accounts, hence me closing them 10 or so years ago. Twitter is also for mathematics and cooking for me.

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